THE TITLE IS: SUCK MY DELI

....nothing pisses off a lazy fuck such as myself more than finding someone much more lazy than I could ever possiably be....

THE TITLE IS: SUCK MY DELI

AND THE TITLE IS: I NEED RELIGION AS AN EXCUSE SO I CAN HAVE SUNDAY OFF TOO

I haven’t found God yet but I keep hearing he is looking for me.

Maybe I should open a bookstore or run a outsourcing business which does collating for companies?…? Or how about I just live under the bridge?….I think capitalism is driving me crazy, And I’m a greedy fuck…

THE MESSAGES I DID NOT BUY
I win this life,
I win this day,
I earned it,
I will stay on my path and will only with adventure go astray,
I win this drive,
I win this belief I have,
I earned it,
I will over and over for love cut myself in half,
I win a vision that maybe will pollute the world one day,
I win this sense of this shit not making sense to me,
I earned the right to have days were I just play,
I win this day for myself and not for blood,
Blood only marks your territory,
I will never again wear your masks,

My mood changed from a child to a man when I found I did not have the time to live,
You say Jesus loves,
Save me if you love me,
Save me from all of those who attack the three,
Save me if this life here within this body means something to you,
This life is my win and do I seem to be fucked up to you?
Fuck yea and because these days are mine,
I will be the way I choose to be,
You just be you,
It will get better with time,

©brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCITONS

AND THE TITLE IS: I NEED RELIGION AS AN EXCUSE SO I CAN HAVE SUNDAY OFF TOO

THE TITLE IS: TEEN ON PUMPKIN SEX

There exists a sense of feeing that is a good effect on my life as a writer when my life seems to be a tad bit hectic and chaotic and that is when I have no time when I write something to talk myself out of how stupid the ideas are or how bad of a writer I am. The truth of which really has no bearing on this or any other discussion if for anything else to keep my sanity in tack and keep me from becoming too grouchy. Nothing worse than a grouchy toothless man of 33.
And with that being said above I started working on a short story this week which to be honest started as just a inside joke story between myself and friends because it was inspired by a friend. Now the story does not look half bad as I finished the 1st Draft last night and I may search around and see about places to submit it to where it would fit in.
The older I get the more I have developed a Fuck You attitude about things. One of those things I think are my inner critics. Not the good inner critics who talk to you about working on reader understanding, not the good inner critics who talk to you at length about how ridiculous it is that super heroes of the female kind usually end up wearing bikinis into battle, or the inner critics that say, “Brian, spell check is meant to be used and is not just a vague suggestion.” The inner critics I am talking about I say to you Fuck Off. I’m enjoying writing and you have no say in this horse or donkey or rabbit race. You are the drunk in the crowd who is holding a ticket for last weeks race you found on the ground outside the restroom and you are yelling for your horse to win even though that horse died the day after your father took you to the races for the first time and which funny ha ha was also the day your father first started showing you slowing how to please yourself. Hands on training.
What? Psh, I have no room for holding back thoughts. I’m getting older by the day people. I’m slowly dying each day because I’m getting old……Anyways, In the past I have always had a hard time writing short stories because I always thought too big, too epic with the initial idea and it just did not fit the structure of a short story. I have many notebooks of short stories which turned into 5 or 9 Chapters of a book before I stretched it beyond its means and it died being stretched beyond its means. That hurts a lot when you do that.
I am still learning how to structure as short story. How to loop and play with scenes and timing and such to create a good read or at least a good place on my computer but I am really starting to enjoy writing them more and more as I do more and more of them. Sort of like sex. I did not have sex for the first time until I was 26 so I never missed it. But now! A day is li….Well, that really doesn’t fit does it? I will have to try and get that story in somewhere else one day.

Listening to Jon Stewart’s America on Wave’s iPod at work. Sunday will have me working a double to try and get as much done as possible…..

Written from the pay the rent (there went my pay check) job,
C.

THE TITLE IS: TEEN ON PUMPKIN SEX

THE TITLE IS: THINGS CHANGE. THE NET MORE THAN BITS OF SAND

A lot of people like it, at least I have been told by more than few, when I write blogs which have a format containing news links and my comments. I like writing those too but to do so daily just takes too much time. Which I don't have that much of. Though I mostly wondered around the net and just cut and pasted news bits that interested me in some way it took time to do this. Now with my writing schedule getting busier with my pen trying to get more writing done, my day job getting busier with this month being a review month for me, and everything in life seemingly starting to get busier-Those crazy fuckers in Washington are just so entertaining. Entertaining like watching my brothers do stupid thing after stupid thing and knowing shit rolls back on family. Long way of saying a short thing. From now on daily I will still be updating the blog, well I will try to, but mostly with bits about my life, my job, and my writing and will probably do a once a week entry on news and events. Unless someone does something really stupid like this shit. If anyone had read my notebooks and journals when I was in elementary and high school I think I would have been arrested. More than a few teachers, classmates, and family members died in those writings I will tell you. Crazy shit there. This blog has always been a way to network, keep the writer juices flowing, and to let friends in a little deeper into who I am and maybe warn them in time about who I am so they will have the chance to run away. The blog is not going anywhere as long as I have some sort of net access.

As I mentioned last night I started a short story last night. It is mostly inspired by my friend The Queen who is all Al Gore and yelling, “IT’S FUCKING EARTH DAY MOTHER FUCKERS!!!” at passing Hummers on the way back from concerts. We love her. Though Al is a tubby and mostly an asshole from my view, The Queen on the other hand who I meet through Wave is one of the most intelligent young women on the planet also in my view. Though a little loud but hey, so is the voice of God. And watch when she swings because she does so without abandon. I always thought one of these days I would write a character inspired by her who would be some kind of super villainess or something but that is the Muses for you.

Written at the pay the rent job,
C.

THE TITLE IS: THINGS CHANGE. THE NET MORE THAN BITS OF SAND

THE TITLE IS: BLEACH ON THE SCHOOL YEAR

Still at work at 1:47am...Need some positive energy...I LOVE WAVE, ALIA SUN, CALM, TANKGIRL, JULY, ORACLE, SHORTFRIE, THE QUEEN, MO, BRAVE SUMMERS, TOUCH, SPEEDE, ROBIN BIRD, DESIRE, and all of those who I have called friends and who have brought good things into my life.....Now I have some energy....Thank you,

....Ok, Tonight I'm started a short story which I will finish the 1st Draft for by Friday night. I needed to get my teeth into something else while forgetting about the book for a bit. 578 words in a finding it very intersting so far. Looks to be a drama horror story. That or maybe a black comedy? Who knows but it was inspired by my friend The Queen. Who probably has never read this blog but reall, who can blame her!

Written from the day job...I'm staying until at least 3am....I think...maybe.....who knows........
C.

THE TITLE IS: BLEACH ON THE SCHOOL YEAR

THE TITLE IS: THE BLOG HUNTS DURING THE WINTER. JUST SHITS DURING THE SUMMER.

Now with me being in the coming back from my days off state of mind I know I wish to have two new things that I can live without but I can't live without. You know those type of things? One being a laptop and the other is a Ipod. It sucks that my birthday is at the end of the year. I could maybe, possiably, in some way make it seem justified to buy one of those things then but not now....no cash....Whin, whin, whine....WHINE!.Psh, Who doesn't?

I am at a point with the book that I get in a lot of times after finishing 1st Drafts were I'm looking at the words and completly hating them. Before I would just throw the shit away and get depressed but that is not me now. Maybe I'm more delustional than I use to be but I actually think I'm inproving as a writer. Besides the bad grammer and spelling!!!! I will be putting it aside for a week and then return to it fresh over the weekend. Maybe I will write the first draft of a short story during the week. Then hate it afterwards and go back to the book with missing love.

Written from the pay the rent job,
C.

THE TITLE IS: THE BLOG HUNTS DURING THE WINTER. JUST SHITS DURING THE SUMMER.

AND THE TITLE IS: LONG HAND

The weekend, a four day weekend I must add because I do not see many of those was filled to the rim. I am still recovering and probably will still be recovering until the next weekend I get off. It was filled to the rim with travel, hotel sex, noise, a sick lady, and laughter. The travel started as Wave and myself headed to Orlando at 6am on Thursday morning. She had a conference meeting scheduled as part of her job to attend at Seminole Community College for Thursday and Friday. We decided to make it a two day over night stay to keep from driving back and forth between Orlando and Melbourne with her already being pretty sick. Since our hotel check in time was not until 3pm I went to the college with her and spent my time in the library reading-Life, The Universe And Everything (I always keep a Douglas Adam book with me at all times for re-reading) and Doctor Who: The Burning by Justin Richards. Also I planned to work on this blog entry documenting the trip and moleskin notes for the 2nd Draft of the book while waiting for her. From here I will write from my notes as the four day weekend moved…

…One illusion that you learn very early as I did because of my love for libraries is that these great places are not nor ever have been, at least in my life time, places of quite surrounding atmosphere. Never quite sanctuaries. They maybe quite compared to a football match or a reading of an Amy Goodman book at a Bush family event but quite? Not really and so when I find a quite library I do not wish to leave. The library of Seminole Community College had me clock watching for my, when Wave will be finished moment…..

…Another Billie Law is that no matter where I sit in a library, no matter the size, location, or reality of the library because this is also true of libraries in my dreams and in those other places, no matter where I sit for quite reflection with a book, pencil, and at times Waves laptop some dumb fuck group of guys will be gathered near by to talk about tits and pussy and after giving these prep fuckheads my best toothless stare I get a good look at them also and see that these middle class preppies they probably only touch the tits of the fatfuck of the group and would only get a taste of something sweat if they paid for it. I see a future for them jacking off in a alleyway after stealing the latest issue of Church Weekly with old Pat on the cover. I hate loud people in libraries…Have I mentioned that before?….

…Finished the Douglas Adams book and got to Chapter 7 on The Burning. I loved the way Justin Richards keep introducing characters who could have/might have been The Doctor. That little trick got me interested in the book a whole lot quicker. It usually takes me a while to get into a book…

…We left the college on Thursday to go check in at the hotel. After resting a bit Wave left to meet with one of her favorite professors and one of my favorites of her former teachers for some sort of Alumni function; while I stayed at the hotel resting watching Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire. Nothing like HBO in a hotel. For some reason I have to watch even if I have the DVD at home. Comes from when I was little and the only place that had HBO were I was from was hotels…

…Wave brought Panera back to the hotel from her meeting and we did a Lush bath, hotel sex, candy bar snack thing before heading to sleep…

…Friday started with us getting up. Wave fixed coffee and left and I visited the gift shop at this nice Marriott across from TD Waterhouse or whatever it is called now. I returned from the gift shop with a Coke, Yuppie Guppies, and a copy of USA Today for Wave to ready when she got back. Then I started writing chapter one of the next book in the series of the current book I am working on book one of. I know, not even finished with the first book and he is starting number two. The idea hit me on how to start it so I had to put it down or be bitch slapped by a bunch of angry Muses…

…When Wave returned to the hotel we got something to eat at the hotel restaurant, putting up with some sports fans in the bar/restaurant, and then we returned to the room to relax. She relaxed in a bath of Lush products; while I watched Emeril Live. Then we chilled before going to sleep. We had a 11am check out time in the morning….

….Slept in until check out. We stopped at an B&N near the hotel so I could see if they had any Doctor Who books. No go. Stopped quickly for something to eat and then off to The Florida Mall for a fast Lush visit and then back home awaiting to see if Desire and Robin Bird still wished to hang out….

…Wave is really sick so we had to cancel hanging out with Desire and Robin Bird. We both feel bad about that because we were looking forward to seeing them but my love really did need the rest with us heading back out on Sunday to Ft. Lauderdale to see My Chemical Romance with Wave’s sister Trill and The Queen….

…The trip to the concert started with us picking up The Queen and Trill. Me, Wave, and Queen argued over Wave’s Ipod. They wanted to listen to it on the radio and I wanted to listen to Doctor Who audios. Since Queen also had her Ipod also I traded and with her model being a newer one I watched episodes of the craptastic show Supernatural while they listened to music. I think I lost out big time on that one. The whole time we were being all high school with each other Trill was sitting with her headphones on reading quietly….

…There is a town in Florida named Plantation. Am I the only person who sees that as sort of off?…

…The concert was good. I like My Chemical Romance. They put on a good show. This being my second time to see them live. The opening act The Muse I did not like as much but I also think their sound system was fucked up a little since I could not understand a thing they were saying. Plus it seemed like they were trying to pull off some sort of U2, Techno, Prince, Emo thing that just was not working….

…There is a road in Florida called Hiatus….From what?….

…The trip back home involved going up the wrong way on an interstate highway, a search for a Taco Bell to shut up the Queen, Trill showing us how in glory she is about all knowledge of the music of today. Seems she is connected to channels like Fuse. Didn’t it use to be Much Music?…..

…and that was my four day weekend. I think I am even more tired now that I had to type all of that up.

Written in a hotel, in a library, in a car, in the apartment, and probably some place I forgot I was,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:

hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

AND THE TITLE IS: LONG HAND