THE TITLE IS: RED SICKNESS....AND NOTHING TO DO WITH TIDE

Remember when I said I was not sick anymore?...I guess I lied because I woke up in the middle of the night with a very painful stomach ach. Now I'm sitting watching Red Dwarf on DVD barrowed from the library, sweeting like mad, and just generally pissed off because it seems like all I am of late is sick. I need a wide rimmed look at why this Ted tested flay flying accentric life has it in for me.

C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: RED SICKNESS....AND NOTHING TO DO WITH TIDE

THE TITLE IS: BIRTHDAYS AND OH, YEA THAT CHRIST-MAS THINGEE

My birthday cake made for me by people who love me. Other wise I'm over my holidays sickness but all the laying around has my back out again. Fucking can't catch a break!

C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: BIRTHDAYS AND OH, YEA THAT CHRIST-MAS THINGEE

THE TITLE IS: GO SOUTH

Watching a MI-5 DVD marathon tonight as some kind of fucking bell is ringing out across the apartment complex and has been doing so since Sunday. I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm feeling a urge to write a political story which must mean I'm really sick.

Earlier tonight I spent time at B&N reading trades of comics because I don't have the money to really buy anything right now. Need to do some writing because I have not for the past week or so. Dam, here comes that political story....LORD HELP ME...ok, so I told you to piss off once, Do you hold a grudge?...What ever........

C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: GO SOUTH

THE TITLE IS: PLAYING TIN

I'm working with some talented people to set up some things for a full website launch for The Tin Universe and Stereo. I'm trying to get as many special things for the site launch ready and that's why I'm not anncouncing a website launch date. I wish to at least have this be a pretty good creative site off the bat. I released the book early just to get it out there but in the next few months I plan to play pimp for it big time.

I'm pretty sick right now and should be working on book two in the series or other writing but I'm handling a lot of family issues right now also. What is about this time of year that makes my life go choas all at once?

C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: PLAYING TIN

THE TITLE IS:BE BACK IN A MINUTE

...living at a very emotionally drained state right now. Too tired for almost anything expect just living. And there is nothing worse for me than just living.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS:BE BACK IN A MINUTE

THE TITLE IS: UNDERSTANDING

During the past few days I have been thinking a lot about what friendships mean to me. One of the things I think is most important to a friendship is understanding. How can you love someone without understanding them? How can you be there for someone when they may need you if you do not understand them? How can you cry for someone unless you understand them? Now we as human beings can not ever fully know each other completly but understanding has nothing to do with completness(sp?) or knowing. Understanding is something else because knowing and completness(sp?) is about self to the other. Understanding is putting yourself in the shoes of the other who you love. It's not a seperate action its an action of one.

I love my friends. My Soul Friends are my family. I try my best to understand them. I'm in a mood I get in from time to time when I need to say I love you to my friends. Some read this blog, most probably do not even know about it. But still understanding is also about reaching out.

Brave Summers, Oracle, July, Mo, Shortfrie, Alia Sun, Robin Bird, Wave, Des, Calm, Ghost, Speede, and Tankgirl. I love each one of you and my love in trying to understand you is my fight for you and I will fight for those I love until my dying breath.

Remember not knowing who you are is not excuse for not being who you are,
C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: UNDERSTANDING

THE TITLE IS: OFF EATING A SAND WORM

Spent most of today writing and watching DVD's. When Wave got home we went out for KFC and to Target for the new Harry Potter movie on DVD. I started also re-reading DUNE and have been on a DUNE kick of late watching the mini-series and movie and now re-reading the first book. I have never read the second book in the series and almost bought it yesterday at the used book store we visited. They had it for $2.50 so I might go back for it after finishing DUNE.

Did I ever mention how much I hate the holidays? Well, I thought I would end this by mentioning that once again.

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: OFF EATING A SAND WORM

THE TITLE IS: BACK IN THE OLD MECC DAYS

I had a great day yesterday with Wave. Just spending time together and being out away from our apartment which I sometimes believe homes can be one of the most depressing places to be when doing through rough patchs. Of late we really haven't had the money for doing that much but we went to a used book store, had hotdogs at our favorite local joint, and went to a library. I love spending time with the person I love.

Last night I received an email from a old friend who I had not heard from in years. I had looked for her online for a couple years but last week I found a email address to someone that could be her. After sitting for a while afraid to send her a email in thinking that maybe no one from that time in my life would wish to talk to me again. I distanced and cut myself off from a lot of people who I loved to get my head straight. Doing so took a while and I did not know if anyone wished to coutinue to be friends with me even though I still considered all of them loved ones to my soul. Soul Friends as I put it. A few people from that time have made it clear that they no longer wish to speak with me, which I understand, so I was scared this would be the case with my friend who I nicknamed Alia Sun. But after sending a email to the addy I found I got back a response. A response that made my soul tingle. One of the few things that have happen to me of late that has made me smile.

Checked out DVD's of, All Creatures Great And Small, and The Tomorrow People. Letting those spell noise and visuals as I write the next book in the Tin Universe. Oh, and to pimp myself, remember the link above where you can order the first book which introduces the Tin Universe, STEREO.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: BACK IN THE OLD MECC DAYS

THE TITLE IS: THE T.T.T.

Last night was the Pagan Tree Trimming Travesty. Fun with friend, drinks, and drunken touching by all.


And so the drinking, tree trimming, and drinking begins.


Tim builds the foundation of a tree. The ladies are off drinking and I'm the one with the really good Chucks.


My ultra fab shoes.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: THE T.T.T.

My First Book Is Done....and only $4.00

If anyone is interested you can buy my first book for $4.00 in the form of an ebook at this addy: Stereo


Any also you can get merch for the project and my blog at the below addy's:
blog merch
Stereo merch

My First Book Is Done....and only $4.00

THE TITLE IS: FADING WRATH

I shave back one of my faces,
Pealing away the skin,
I look into the mirror,
The sin,
Why does this have to be me?

Why do I awake to my own face?
My uniform is inside my head,
Just when you thought you had it all figured out,
The badges of courage are just dead,
The singing sounds are like an Angels pain,
Beatiful and full of blame,
Things tic tock and bleed down a lonely road,
We fight until we can bare no more,
And that is the carrying of our daily load,
That is the price we pay,

All the things dancing around within each eye,
Come here really quick and I will tell you a old lie,
Shout back and say its all just gone,
These days I know how to cry,
But I also know how to touch each moment which is no more,

The singing does not go away,
The pain has not just had its day,
Letting go is not the answer,
The scars will not fade away,
Covering them up is not the answer,

I embrace the mothers and fathers,
I embrace the ways of others,
Waiting for their moment,
Waiting for their chance,
We all are waiting,


(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: FADING WRATH

THE TITLE IS: FRIDGES ENOUGH FOR ME

I'm make this short since I'm not feeling that well today.

After a interesting night of being sick and others being sick, Someone casting down some nasty stuff on some Christmas decorations, and me spending the early morning hours watching a, As Time Goes On, marathon with the two sets I have three other sets on leave from the library.

Then I spent the rest of the morning and early day watching, That 70's Show, on DVD with Robin and I am slowly making it through the tons of stacks of notebooks of stories, moving them over onto the computer.

During the day I went over to the complex offices and got a copy of our lease and also told them about our leaking refrigrator. They came over to look at it and said they needed to replace it. They did so. And now we have a new one but I got in trouble for throwing away some things that were not spoiled yet. Hey, I can't be left alone I guess.

Then when Mar got home we went out for Sonic, I almost throw Robin through a wall when I was trying to hit the bed with her, and surfed the net for a bit.

That was my day. Loads of the high adrenline life style I live.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: FRIDGES ENOUGH FOR ME

THE TITLE IS: COOKIE DANGER

Did you know if you put a cookie in the microwave it would burn fast and start smoking? Well, I didn't and I filled the apartment with smoke tonight. Now everything including my sexy next door neighbor smells like burnt cookie.

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: COOKIE DANGER

THE TITLE IS: "SHE ATE FIVE OF THEM ALREADY."

Finished up the 2nd Draft of Stereo tonight and also sent it off to the editor. Oh, and speaking of Stereo remember that if anyone wishes to pick up any merchandise with the first promotional image for the book on it they can gohere. All money will go towards me and my habits, some pure and most not so much so but those are the fun ones.

Tonight I'm also starting the typing up of the 1st Draft of my third book.

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: "SHE ATE FIVE OF THEM ALREADY."

THE TITLE IS: GROWING UP PUSSY

Robin, I can not wait until the pagan tree decorating happens. I will be there with my badly dressed poor self. Will it be the The Caveman, The Hillybilly, The Model, and The Rage once again for all the fun?

Touch, You asked about the poster to the right of my Avengers poster? The big one is some short of tribal warrior print, I don't know the artist, I picked it up at the mall once. The print was only like 15dollars but the framing cost me some where around 80. Though this was back in my Program Planner days when I had lots of cash. If you was speaking of the smaller one? That is a framed print of a peice of art and a poem by Neil Gaiman about 911.

Robin and Mr. ECFPC rescused this stray and found it a home. Right now it's sitting on our balcony until the person who is taking it comes to pick it up.

On the writing front. I am finishing up the final touches on the 2nd Draft of Stereo this week. Then it will go back to the editor for another polish and then it will be very much as it will be seen when it finally becomes a book.

My neck and back are much better but I think I maybe at the age were a injury like these may stay around lingering and hurting for a while after the main injury pains go away. I also recently discovered that I can not sleep on pain killers and so if I take them near bed time I have to let the effects wear off before going to bed which makes taking them sort of useless because one of the few reasons I do take them is so I can sleep past all the pains that hurt right now?

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: GROWING UP PUSSY

THE TITLE IS: A NICE COOKED OUT FOURSOME

The writer and his favorite editor and one of his best friends.

This is how you make a editor happy if your writing drives her nuts and running out off the room at times.

Fuck the hoildays, just spend good time with friends and loved ones....

...and friends of friends who you hope to have as a friend in your life.

And hopefully at the end of the night you may get attacked by a model...

...who slashs as your editor.

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: A NICE COOKED OUT FOURSOME

THE TITLE IS: JESBUS JUMPING IN THE AIR

Add a pulled muscle in my neck for my reasoning in thinking God hates me.

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: JESBUS JUMPING IN THE AIR

THE TITLE IS: HOLIDAYS ON ICE

It's 12am. My best friend and my lover is sleeping in the other room. I had a night of good company, food, and movies. Now I'm still awake watching Kill Bill Vol.2 drinking a water bottle with a pain pill dropped in for fun. The holidays I have always belived are lies and fail safes for those who want to belive they are treating those they love right. A couple times a year most people will buy gifts and invite family and friends over to eat and they will speak of love and joy and caring. I speak of these thing all year for those I love. Each day. Every hour. Holidays are not real anymore than a gift is any true measure of caring.

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: HOLIDAYS ON ICE

THE TITLE IS: MY SORT OF LIST

I'm not feeling that great so I say I'm not sorry but this may get a little dark or emo before I am done writing. Just thought I should let you know ahead of time. Plus who the fuck is happy this time of year. No wonder so many sucides happen during the holidays.

I'm living in a nation. We are living in a world where the worst possiable thing you can do or be is yourself. And the second worst possiable thing you can do is be different or not agree along lines any sort of lines. My mind doesn't flow within lines. My reality is lineless.

All my life I have been sick. From birth to the seconds I have been typing this blog I have been in pain. Breathing, aching, feeling, sickly pain. I have been thinking about the blog entry I am writing for the passt few days and thus I need to get it out.

Don't see this survey list on Myspace now do you?

The first time I almost died was when I was born. Born with basically one lung they told my mother I would probably die within a year. Later when I was older I heard a doctor tell her I would be dead before I turn 25. I have always felt like I have been living on barrowed time since I clicked into 26 and now decaying into 32.

The second time I almost died was at a water park on a family vacation when I jumped into the wave pool and the only thing that saved me was lacking onto the back of a fat women who pulled me ashore. I have had the love for the big ladies ever since.

The third time I almost died was when a relative of mine had me pinned up against a tree and he whispered into my ear that if I told anyone about this he would kill me. I didn't say anything until years later but no one belived me. He is dead now. I win.

The 4th time I almost died was when I tried to run away from home once. I hitchhiked a ride with someone to get back home because I remembered Doctor Who was on PBS tonight. Later, years later I found out the guy who gave me a ride that night lived on to kill a young girl in my home town.

The 5th time I almost died was when I took a over dose of pills. It didn't work.

And so came the 6th time I almost died which was in high school when I defended someone who said he was gay and did not hide it. Not the best way to introduce yourself in Redneckville USA. Most of the football team took me into a room one day and beat me up but when I fought back and attacked one of them later in the year I lost a few days of being at school for being a problem studant.

The 7th time I almost died was when I came home one day, walked into my bedroom, locked the door, pulled out the gun my dad gave me, put it in my mouth and pulled the trigger. I had forgot to replace the one bullet after cleaning that stayed in there at all times. I shoke too badly to put the bullet in and cried myself to sleep that night.

The 8th time I almost died was when when I was walking home when I had to walk everywhere I went when I first moved to Florida and two high school punks pulled me into the bushes and took what little money I had in my wallet. One of them held a knife to my thoat, his hand shaking, shouting how much he wanted to slit my throat.

The 9th time I almost died was almost choking at Applebee's on a steak. Chew your food children.

The 10th time I almost died was again...almost choking but this time at Friday's.

Why has this list haunted my mind the past few days? I have no idea but now it is no longer swimming within me.

Next time children we can discuss the dangers of being open minded in a small bum fuck but not any good way town for most of your life. But until then please sit back and listen to the calming sounds of Mr. Barry Manillow!!!





Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: MY SORT OF LIST

THE TITLE IS: ANOTHER 1ST DRAFT IN

Turned in another first draft to an editor today. A snall YA Book which goes away from the subject matter I normally write about. Can't wait to get the 1st Draft back but for now, its on to the next thing.

C.

THE TITLE IS: ANOTHER 1ST DRAFT IN

THE TITLE IS: GREAT KINGS OF MEN

We woke up this morning had great sex. You know, Great Sex. Then we went out grocery shopping after reading for a few hours. Well, I was reading, Mar was mostly bugging the shit out of me. She brought me Boy Toy by Barry Lyga home from the library the other day. He is the same writer who wrote The Astonishing Adventures Of Fanboy And Goth Girl which I enjoyed. I broke into the current books I'm reading to read it and I should have it finished before the night is out.

Now we are sitting watching the Lord Of The Rings movies while eating KFC.

I need to write at least for a few hours tonight but Mar needs to use the computer to check her shit so I will turn it over to her. Since it's her computer it seems to be the right thing to do.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: GREAT KINGS OF MEN

THE TITLE IS: MOTHERS, BLOOD, AND THE WAYS THEY MAKE YOU SICK

I have another bad tooth. I just need to have them all yanked out but it seems like dentists do not like pulling out a lot of teeth even if you don't have many left and have proven your inability to take care of said teeth in the past or currently. They would rather you still have them. Still having them means money. Bastards. I want to go to the dentist and say pull the fucker but I know they will say we need xrays and need to try and save it. Maybe if I just tell them, "I might, I say might be able to afford to have the tooth pulled but if you do all the other shit the bill is just going to sit in the huge collection of bills I get every month which is killing trees and killing the Earth so STOP KILLING THE PLANET AND PULL THE FUCKING TOOTH!" But I don't think that would work?

My back is feeling a lot better but still is very stiff and sore. I fine as long as I laying down or walking or standing but sitting still hurts a bit. I must have really fucked it up because its taking me forever to recover and there for a while I could barly move.

At the moment I'm trying to type up one of the first drafts I wrote by hand when I was for the most part flat on my back whinning and also working on a few short story submissions.

Oh, and I got a call from my mom today. I'm thirty something years old, ask Mar, I forget the number, and my mom can still make me feel like shit by doing nothing mean or calious but for being a mom. I love her but mom calls usually do not go well. It's usually-"What are you doing with your life?" "So and so just got married that you went to school with." "When are you coming home for a visit?" "Are you still dating **insert the name of the love of my life but move still asks if she has gotten tired of me yet every time**"

Backs acting up again. Will post again tomorrow.
C.

(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: MOTHERS, BLOOD, AND THE WAYS THEY MAKE YOU SICK

THE TITLE IS: MY BACK IS GETTING BETTER, NOW I JUST NEED TO

Went to Orlando with Mar the other day. She had to attend a training seminar for her job. I sat in the preppy filled hotel reading a Doctor Who book while watching all of these businese and social gathering elites giving me weird looks as I sat there in my self made shorts and Silver Surfer t-shirt with no front teeth and a home made mowhawk hair cut. I felt like leaning back in my chair in the lobby and scratching myself just to see someone of them drop dead in horror.

While in Orlando we stopped of at Bad Apple Comics. I had been wishing to go there ever since I came to Florida but things never aligned enough when in Orlando to make it happen. I love the lay out of the store and Mar bought me a Doctor Who10th Doctor figure. She really knows how to reach my inner geekdom. We also stopped off at Lush, Best Buy, and B&N but we make it out without spending too much. Just picked up a few things at Best Buy and Lush.

On the writing front. I just finished up another first draft of a book last night. Since my back has for the most part keep me from sitting without it being torture and then only for a few minutes I have been working on first drafts of a number of other books in being written by hand in notebooks while my back is at its current state. I actually have four 1st Drafts finished that need to be typed up. Though the past few days my back feeling better but in the time it took me to type this entry it has went from hurting to I can't handle feel most of my body except for pain....

C.
(c)brian c. williams
SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS

THE TITLE IS: MY BACK IS GETTING BETTER, NOW I JUST NEED TO

THE TITLE IS: AWAY WRITING OR DRINKING

I have seen several bloggers who use a certain image on their blog to let people know they are away writing or such. Below is the image I will be using when away writing which I need to concentrate on for a little while. I will be away writing when using this or drinking or maybe a lot of both.



Thanks,
C.

THE TITLE IS: AWAY WRITING OR DRINKING

THE TITLE IS: A PHOTO IS WORTH A LAZY BLOG ENTRY

The past couple days has been Hell because my back has been hurting so much I could hardly stand or walk or move a muscle one. Yes, even that one. I applied for about eight jobs yesterday but until I feel good enough to sit at a chair for any amount of time I will just post some photos.

This is a photo of the bedroom of our old place during the move.

This pic is of our old living room during the move.

Me after moving the first couple of boxes into the new place. All moved in now. Maybe that is why my back is killing me?

When we got everything moved in we celebrated with a cook out. Grill from Wal-Mart if I remember right?

Before we moved into the new place they painted it. And as well they painted over a bee hive or two.

Once we moved in completly we got our drink on with Robin.

And I have spent most of my time of late watching Mar's South Park dvds.

So that is all for this entry. Stay safe everyone and remember lift with your legs.
C.

(c)brian c. williams
System*Productions

THE TITLE IS: A PHOTO IS WORTH A LAZY BLOG ENTRY

THE TITLE IS: MOVING AROUND A MODEL

We are officially moved into our new place. Much nicer, a balcony, and room for use to dance while cooking in the kitchen. Now I will just have to deal with getting into it with my old land lord about what he should be giving me back with my deposit. I know more than likely the amount will be nothing but I’m just waiting for my chance to go off on his ass about a lot of shit I never exploded about because…well, there was this thing about me living there and needing a place to live but now I’m not there and some will be getting a ear full from me. I think this fucker should face me face to face before I turn my keys over to him so we can discuss some things like him giving other people keys to the place so they can come in at will, charging me for repairs that were not in my lease to pay, and the just in general face of me being a prick and not caring for his money grubbing terrorist ass…

Rant over…
……………………….rambling beginning…

I got a call from a company I applied to a year ago today saying I had a job with them. The only problem is the job is too far away for me to drive and for it to actually be worth the money spent to match the money coming in. Also I called them about a interview because I first got a interview email notice and I was told to call another number and when I did so the lady answered and said the email was just a formality and they would try to get me a little above minimum wage. The thing is I never interviewed with them or anything? I can’t take the job because of gas and such would probably have me only making about 30bucks per check but I think they may have mixed me up with someone else in that I do have the most generic name outside of John. John’s are just so generic : )
This seemed a lot more interesting when it happen to me than it came out in the writing here…Well….ok…. Moving on…

Taxi cab riders on the backs of women who he is using as they take their footsteps in their daily lives so he can travel to cities to stick it in anything cardboard or breathing can kiss my ass. You figure that out and one you know me enough to know who I’m talking about and two you need therapy because I don’t even think it makes sense to the topic I was thinking about.

Currently listening to, The Green Goblin Project, on Robin’s computer. Go look them up and buy the CD….

Currently reading a bottle of bills…… I want me some :(

Currently missing Mar…

Currently wondering if I had a thought In Theory of what the memory of life was then it would take me to The Next Phase and show The Measure Of A Man.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
brian c. williams

THE TITLE IS: MOVING AROUND A MODEL

THE TITLE IS: TELLING SOMEONE WAY

Still moving so after the end of this week I will hopefully be able to post more if my good friend Robbin will let me bug her to use her computer since we will not have internet for a short while still at our new place. Tomorrow the remaining junk comes over and then I spend a day cleaning up the old place. Have not been doing much reading, writing, or anything else but moving of late so I can't wait until we get fully into the new place.

C.

THE TITLE IS: TELLING SOMEONE WAY

THE TITLE IS: EXCUTE ME BY MY NAME

He walked into the room and her smiles brought all the pain back,
He was dressed in the make up and masks she once gave to him,
She arose out of the casket with a set of mothers arms and a smack,
Son where have you been is all she had to say,
Nothing to give her lover back,

You there in your bookish ripped wings,
Why are things changing?
And what is it about all those rings?
Why am I here at all?
And who am I blaming?
Ok, stranger in the rain,
Things could just be plain,
Things maybe are just going along a road,
But I can not help that I’m not sold,
Sale this life to someone else for the price of all the pain,

You there interested in a slightly used soul?
The heart has been keep mostly between friends,
Though things in the mind tended to get out of control,

He walked out of the room with a sense of what was happening,
Naked as the space between his ears,
Shouting with anger about all that was happening,
Through his eyes you can only see all the years,

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
brian c. williams

THE TITLE IS: EXCUTE ME BY MY NAME

THE TITLE IS: TIRED....but keeping watching

Still in the middle of moving and the new place will not have internet for at least a month so I will just leave you with some quick views into my mind of late:

You have been warned!

And warned again!!

To Holmes Regional Medical Center, fuck you, fuck you so much I hope I mispelled what your fucking walls are called. I hate hospitals. I have been in them most of my life and been treated like meat. I am not your meat of a meal to play with and neither are those I love. There are many kinds of patients and your lack of backbone when treating some of them is mind boggling.

Oh, and yes I know there is no logic in attacking the group for the actions of some within a group but What do I look like, A FUCKING VULCAN?

To the police, because you know something guys? While friends are struggling for life and family are worried out of their minds what color nail polish someone has on or what poems people have hanging on their walls or how much they are crying is not where your focus should be. There are times when a son needs a good slap upside the head in his growing up in life and it's about time this country gets one also to the fact that the reason why respect for police officers is dwindling is because police officers respect for cizitens common rights and humanity is dwindling. So fuck you.

To MC Assembly and Semipack. Thank you. Thank you so much for getting me one step closer to the man I was always supposed to be. I raise my glass and hope you rot in losing everything because not one person who was not a friend of mine will even talk to me from those places since I left. Wallow in your greed and your power and choke in a very lonely room.

My anger is not a price I pay for the steps I take in my life. My anger is my self inflicted joy to make sure I am awake for elections, awake for a medical system orgified in money, awake for a justice system that belives justice only comes in jail time or punishment, and awake to make sure the next time I'm put in or I put myself in a position where I have to choose between my honor and my job I never again think for a second that the two are even compariable.

Remember just because you do not know who you are it is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

(c)SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
brian c. williams

THE TITLE IS: TIRED....but keeping watching

THE TITLE IS: NO, THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED ANOTHER YOU!

How I spent some of my days?


I sticker condoms to give away free because a lot of people should not be making little versions of themselves.

Just remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

(c)SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
brian c. williams

THE TITLE IS: NO, THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED ANOTHER YOU!

THE TITLE IS: THE BRAIN DEAD WALK

Currently watching The Colbert Report.

I sleep late again today and I feel like shit and I know why I feel like shit; which is because I slept late again, which depresses me because I do not get as much done during the day as I would like to. My list for getting done today includes: Dishes, a load of laundry, packing some boxes, go through some shit to decide throw away or keep, and do some writing…blog not included in the writing category of getting done in the writing. I need to structure the work on my writing habits and all of my ways of living. When I have a job where I need to be structured to keep and exile at the job I do so and I do exile without speaking with a large ego. Now I just need to apply a lot of that into my home life which includes my writing. I have found that improving my life is a ongoing process and right now I maybe in the middle of another point where I need to fight to make sure my life changes for the better and not the worse.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
Brian C. Williams

THE TITLE IS: THE BRAIN DEAD WALK

THE TITLE IS: Q-PAIRED

While I was visiting a friend the other day at her apartment, which we will be living next door to soon, I was visiting her cats sitting in her closet looking through her box of Star Trek books when I found something interesting. I picked out one to read and I'm half way through it now. That book is Star Trek-The Next Generation: Q-Squared by Peter David. It's the first Star Trek book I have ever actually started reading.

Good thoughts out to Wave, Robin Bird, Touch and anyone else I know out there who maybe facing hard shit in their lives right now.

Well, that's about it for now. Just remember as always not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: Q-PAIRED

THE TITLE IS: YES, HE IS A WRITER

Had a dinner of left over KFC gravey and home made biscuits. I did not post a picture of the ones I made this time. I did not want to scare anyone else way. Booked up some books today and most of my Doctor Who stuff and also typed up some materials in my huge stack of notebooks of books and story ideas.


This is the stack of words I need to put onto the computer because I really do not want to move all of this again. It contains three books, lots of scripts, and a fucking shit load of story ideas since I started being this hack writer I am.


This is my desk which never gets used because I usually write either while watching Tv on the couch or outside the apartment. The Tv on the desk is Mar's and when we move she will probably use the desk a Hell of a lot more than me. What you don't see is a huge bag of floppy disks, hard disks, and zip drives full of at least one other book and stories which I have no idea had to get at from the first computer I had to my time with my businese to just a few years ago.

Well, that's enough about me. Now go get offline and piss off some random people and make me proud.

Remember not knowing who you are is not excuse for not being who you are,
C.

(c)SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
brian c. williams

THE TITLE IS: YES, HE IS A WRITER

THE TITLE IS: DUCK TAPE TO THE MAX!!!

This is what happens when I do breakfast for us, out comes mutated biscuits.

I guess we are moving. Can I shout out the word stress within here? STRESS!!! Thank you. I’m mostly stressed because I keep having thoughts that some how, something will go wrong and screw it up and it will be my fault. Robbin told me what my line of thinking was. It was something long, big words, and was in capital letters. I can‘t help it or actually remember what it was she said. I’m just always thinking about what could go wrong. Though some people have said that they do not see that in me but that probably just shows I’m good at hiding certain parts of my personality from those who are not part of my inner circle of friends.

And add to the above I just got off the phone with my mother and father. Do I even have to go further. Family help so much with stress…..does sarcasm come across here properly?

Watching, King Of The Hill while writing this. Just downed a few Nighttime PM’s. When I speak with either of my parents I tend to grind my teeth and since that is not a good thing when you have one tooth broken down below the gum line I think you see why I have a headache and needed something strong to take. And because I have no insurance for getting my tooth fixed, more less getting good pain killers for the pain I have to go with taking more than the recommended of something you can get near the Band-Aids. That really long sentence was all for you Robbin! : )

Currently reading- Doctor Who: The Feast Of The Drowned as my travel book and today I will be starting- The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood and- Blade Of The Immortal by Hiroaki Samura. I also need to check something out of the library for bedroom reading.

Speaking of books. I was at B&N the other day and saw that the next volume of 52 came in, Volume Three. Man, nothing more depressing that seeing things you really do not need but you want and knowing this thing you can live without and really don’t need is something you can not get because you do not have the money but you really really want it.

On my own writing front. Mar checked out- Writer’s Market from the library and I’m choosing a couple places to submit stories to. The other night I also came up with a good idea for a book to write with one of my best friends. Now if either of us could find matching times to do it. I wrote a chapter outline and put down several ideas for the book the other night…..fuck, Brian, get back to the projects you are working on….so I guess I’m off to do some writing before doing dishes and what ever else I need to do which I can’t think of right now because my head is killing me.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
Brian C. Williams

THE TITLE IS: DUCK TAPE TO THE MAX!!!

THE TITLE IS: LOST DOWN THE LINE OF A STICKER AND A BUMPY ROAD

One of my favorite people in the world, Hey Robbin, got this bumper sticker for me. THANKS Now it is attached to the side of my truck. I just thought I would show it with everyone.

C.

THE TITLE IS: LOST DOWN THE LINE OF A STICKER AND A BUMPY ROAD

THE TITLE IS: A SPECIAL EPISODE OF BEING FUCKED

Just finished- Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison. I enjoyed this book and will coutinue reading the series. Very good bedside before going to sleep books. A youth book told in journal style which stands out from most of books in the field.

Currently writing as often as my brain and health allow me to. Really stressed at the moment but trying to find ways of distracting myself since that seems to be the only way I can deal with my stress. I don't get angry really, I don't do anything but go inside myself to deal. It's a extreme most seem to not understand. But I have no choice but to do what is not only best for myself but others.

C.
(c)SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
brian c. williams

THE TITLE IS: A SPECIAL EPISODE OF BEING FUCKED

THE TITLE IS: OOOPSS...

Robbin if you read this point Tim here or tell him thanks for the pizza. I forgot with all the fun craziness going on. By the way I enjoyed hanging out with you today. We really should do it more often...ok, bye!

C.

THE TITLE IS: OOOPSS...

THE TITLE IS: NO AIR FEEDING BRAIN MAKES BILLY RAY SEEM LIKE A CLASSICAL ACTOR

I really have the itch to write a book with someone. My top three people to write a book with are friends but there are three problems with all three. All three are really busy, all three do not consider themselves writers even though I love the way they think and write, and all three I'm afraid to ask because I'm afriad of rejection...You would think a writer would be use to it but, Hey?...Not really.

The past couple of weeks have my asthma getting worse and worse. Tonight I had a asthma attack when I got home and I'm still up at 6am recovering from it. I hate this part of my life. Just makes me want to walk barly breathing all the way back into past depressions. Guess, Like other things I'll just have to get over it and move forward.

Currently watching Hana Montana. I know, I know...

Writing away on a number of things. I need to also make a trip to B&N to check out the Writer's Market book for this year because I feel a short story state of mind coming on also which would mean sending out some submissions.

For those around here locally in the Melbourne Florida area there will be a big used book sale by Friends Of The Library at the Melbourne Public Library. Here is the information for the sale:
Thursday, October 4th 7pm-9pm, members only preview sale. Membership for Friends Of The Library available at the door. Friday & Saturday, October 5th and 6th from 9a-5pm for the public. On October 7th from 1p-3pm there will be a Bag-It Sale, grocery bags of books for $2.00.
I love library book sales and want to go but if I do it might be only for the bag sale because I can barly afford the $2.00 deal. Check it out if you are in the area. It supports a good cause for the community.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: NO AIR FEEDING BRAIN MAKES BILLY RAY SEEM LIKE A CLASSICAL ACTOR

THE TITLE IS: PARKED WITH HANDS OPEN

Been offline for a while helping family. One of my best friends was in the hospital. Will try to get back to regular updates tonight but just wanted to let the few people who visit here know that I did not drop off the face of the Earth or anything of the such.

C.

THE TITLE IS: PARKED WITH HANDS OPEN

THE TITLE IS: Last Night One Of The Things Discussed Was Nipples…

Written at home, 10am, with the first soda of the day in my hand.

Bleeding across whispers of nuclear terrorist states,
I live in one, un-united and all on the take,
The people in the small houses are at stake,
The children of the wealthy are our future,
I’m still wondering when the world will awake,
Crawl, Crawl, my mind screams,
All most of us can do is wait,
All this world can give us is hate,

The above is brought to you by someone who just woke up and is not in the best of moods at the moment.

I picked a old book off one of our shelf’s which I picked up at a yard sale a long time ago but never read. I picked it because I had not read any Junior fiction in a long time and I think to move all over the place in my reading. The book is, The Secret World Of Alex Mack: Cleanup Catastrophe! By Cathy East Dubowski. I always thought that was a good youth show when it was on Nickelodeon years ago. I read it last night. Mar also brought a book I asked for back from the library last night titled- Angus, Thongs And Full Frontal Snogging written by Louise Rennison. Mar has read all of the series that has come out so far. I wanted it to use as a read before bed book and the journalish structure of the book fits that purpose. I’m always reading a ton of books at once. Currently the main book I am reading is Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and so yes I did not finish it before the signing. I have been doing more writing than reading of late. Which is a good thing for me and the books I am working on. The book I read when we go to movies or out for dinner or such sort trips is Doctor Who: The Feast Of The Drowned by Stephen Cole and one of these days I will finish Doctor Who: The Burning by Justin Richards but it keeps getting pushed to the side for other books which is no say on the quality of the book and more on how weird my reading habits are. And I did not even mention the comics, graphic novels, short stories, and internet fiction. No wonder I have always had that dream of drowning in badly spelled words.

Oh, and I always have a Douglas Adams book in my bag at all times and currently that book is So Long And Thanks For All The Fish.

Currently watching Rosanne which is so my family, may watch Star Trek later…Man, I need to find a job soon. You think as a writer that all you need is full days to write without a job to get in the way to get things done and after a few weeks of that all you need is a chance to totally get away from writing for a while every day and nothing does that quite like a soul sucking daily job.

After Star Trek I don’t think anything else worth watching will be on for a while so I will be walking slowing back into the waters of the books I’m currently working on.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
Brian C. Williams

THE TITLE IS: Last Night One Of The Things Discussed Was Nipples…

THE TITLE IS: “Kings don’t hurt babies, Giant swords hurt babies.”

We hit a couple of libraries for visits yesterday and I picked up a few books from their dollar bins. The first two books I picked up were by writers I had been meaning to check out for a while. One was Nightseer by Laurell K. Hamilton. I have almost bought one of her Anita Black books a number of times but Nightseer was a her debut novel and it was in mint condition so it was worth the dollar. The second book I picked up on this trip was The First Counsel by Brad Meltzer. At the second library of the day I picked up Star Trek, Deep Space Nine: The Siege by Peter David who is one of my favorite writers and The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. Another favorite writer of mine

Today I sleep late and felt like shit with a migraine as Mar tried to make me feel better. Gotta love that lady. And not just because she puts up with my inability to follow directions from the living room into the bathroom without help.

My head has been really killing me of late. Mostly due to my bad tooth. Good news in the writing front as I added two good chapters to the dark adult book I’m working on and also decided to combine a couple of writing PDF collections I put out a couple of years ago which contained a lot of terrible editing by myself. I will be restructuring the stories into something different focusing on a better way to tell the original ideas I had for the stories in the first place. This time though I will get a better editor for them so people will actually be able to understand the crap they are reading. Both of these book may be released as PDF books. Depends all on how the turn out in the end. Still working on the second draft of Stereo but my mind just is not in the proper place for that story at the moment so work there is moving slowly.

Need to send some good thoughts out to Touch and Robin Bird who have been having a hard time of it of late.

Oh, and from now on I will be answering all comments in the comments area. I know that’s the way every one else does it but for a long time I tried to answer within entries but the other way is better, I admit it.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
Brian C. Williams

THE TITLE IS: “Kings don’t hurt babies, Giant swords hurt babies.”

THE TITLE IS: STEPHENIE MEYER SIGNING

testing the hotel bed
The hotel in Miami was nice. The bed was way off the floor and had small pillows?

See Mar in the mirror wondering if I'm in love with the TV in the hotel
I wanted to sneak the TV out in my pocket but Mar thought they might notice.

Miami outside our hotel
The city which is great but has the worst driving layout I have ever seen.

the lines grow
Before she came out everything was calm in the gym. We estimated that around 300 people where probably there and most had up to three books each to have signed.

then the ladies rushed forward
She came out and the lines disapeared as young ladies all over rushed forward. The event people did not line this place up corretly. It took us almost two hours to get our books signed but it was cool.

the liberian finds our home
She always finds one. I love them and her too.

I did this very fast before the computer dropped signal again so sorry for the more than likly massive amount of spelling and grammar errors.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTION
Brian C. Williams

THE TITLE IS: STEPHENIE MEYER SIGNING

THE TITLE IS: FLIGHT OF THE COUPLE QUESTIONS

Lets start the week with a little survey thingee. I was going to post this as a bulletin on my MySpace but I could not get it to work with me. Fucking Fox.

1) Some random girl comes up to you and says "Hey what's your name?" You say?
Brian, I hate it but it has walked with me along all my roads in this life.

2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
I woke up at 10am and took two Nighttime PM’s

3) What does your last text message say?
It was from someone who I love deeply who life has been attacking a lot of late. I love you Wave.

4) The last song you listened to?
Hurt, the Johnny Cash version.

5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would you play?
Worthless Winter. It’s a song a friend of mine wrote and I have always thought it would be the perfect song for a hatred funeral. If she gives me permission I will post the lyrics here one day.

6) Where is your best friend right now?
At work.

7) What did you do yesterday?
Mostly rode co-pilot as Mar drove back from Miami.

8) Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?
Burned myself when I worked at Boston Market.

9) What teacher have you hated most and why?
Mr. Nash, my high school principal. He told me I was stupid and that I should quit school. I told him to fuck himself when he handed me my diploma. He died two months after graduation. I smiled.

10) How old is your mom?
I have no idea actually, to be honest. I love my family but we are not close.

12) What do you think really happened to Steve from Blue's Clues?
I have a little birdy that says some guy at B&N took his shirt and Steve has been tracking him down every since then.

13) Last time you were dumped?
If you mean just dating? high school. I’ve only had two serious relationships. One just drifted away in sorts and the other is my current torrid love affair with a Liberian.

14) Who's your most religious friend?
The Queen probably

15) Who do you trust with your life?
My Soul Friends. When I get to the point were I call you friend then I trust you with my life. This is one of the reasons that I do not have many friends and two that it takes me so long to develop friendships. My Soul Friends are: Mo, Alia Sun, July, Oracle, Brave Summers, Ghost, Speede, Tankgirl, Wave, Ms. Sands, Calm, Touch, and Bird. I give all my friends nicknames.

16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Justice… What?

17) What would you say if someone told you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?
I would look them straight in the eyes, open my mouth, and say, “Dude, no front teeth.”

18) What do you hate about your school?
Well, my school right now is inside my own head so I hate all the cobwebs hanging around.

19) How often do you curse?
Not often in my writing, quite often inside my head, and a little in real life.

20) Do you trust all of your friends?
My Soul Friends yes. Common friends no.

21) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Did so. I do not regret doing it either even though things did not work out with that person. I have a friendship from it and it has lead me to where I am today which is probably the best state of mind in my life.

22.) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
Nope. Not really a big phone person.

23) Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Uninformed cheating and abuse.

24) Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
I’ll think on this……?

25) Are you afraid of falling in love?
Nope. I have been in love four times.

26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
Yes

27) Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
Did it once. Distanced myself from everyone and its not worth it.

28) What features do you find most attractive in the opposite/same sex?
Smiles on both men and women and also intelligence in both.

29) Fill in the blank. I love_____
Marlena.

30) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
I want to have at least two books published by the end of 08.

31) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
I would go online to check on Doctor Who news. Ask my loved ones. They will tell you this probably isn’t a joke : )

32) How many kids do you want to have?
Zero from my blood but if I found myself with the money to support a child in a healthy environment I would like to adopt some day.

33) Would you make a good parent?
Ask others. I don’t really think so.

34) Where was your default picture taken?
At our apartment.

35) What is your middle name?
Clifton. It’s my dads middle name, his fathers middle name, and his fathers.

36) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Having to take nighttime PMS to make the start of the days is probably not a good thing.

37) If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
Nothing. I am the sum of my memories as The Doctor once said.

38) Shoe size?
I think 9?

39) What are you wearing right now?
Wide fronts and a t-shirt.

40) Righty or Lefty?
righty

41) Can you make a dollar in change right now?
no

42) Best place to eat?
Subway.

43) Favorite jeans?
My favorite jeans no longer fit me.

44) Favorite animal?
cat

45) Favorite juice?
Apple, though it makes my tummy hurt.

46) Have you had the chicken pox?
Yes. They had to take me to the hospital and strap me down I was scratching myself so deep when I had them.

47) Have you had a sore throat?
Yes but not from anything fun: )

48) Ever had plastic surgery?
Nope but I would in a second if I had the money.

49) Who knows you the best?
My old friend Sara seemed to always be able to look past all my forms of bullshit. Mar knows me better than anyone in so many ways.

50) Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
No but I’m suppose to wear glasses for reading and sunlight protection.

51) Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Don’t have one.

52) Been to Mexico?
Legally? No.

53) Did you buy something yesterday?
No, Mar bought me tickets to see Shoot’em Up. A great escape movie.

54) Did you get sick today?
Already, yes. Most days I wake up about to throw up.

55) Did you miss anyone today?
I miss Mar.

56) Did you get in a fight with someone today?
Not yet but keep the fingers crossed.

57) When is the last time you liked someone?
I like lots of people, I love a small group of people, you could not measure how many people I hate though and hate like love does not come easy to me. I have just meet a lot of worthless people in my life.

58) Last person to lay in your bed?
Me. Hotel beds are so much better.

59) Last person to see you cry?
Mar.

60) Who/what made you cry?
Not being able to give the person I love most in this world something special for her birthday because I was weak.

62) What are your plans for the weekend?
I don’t think I have any plans? Hopefully starting a new job or hanging out with friends.

63) Who do you think will repost this?
Don’t care.

64) Are you happy right now?
Yea, actually, sort of?

65) Drunk dialer or texter?
Neither. I hardly ever get drunk.

66) Are you hungry?
Yep. I need a steak but they are trying to kill me.

67) Are you a forgiving person?
Professionally, socially, yes but I always remember. Personally for the most part yes but….well, as the old saying goes, “Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.”

68) Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
Depends totally on the situation.

69) Have you lost a friend recently?
My Soul Friends at times just drift out of my life. That’s just how living individual lives works.

70) Are you talking to someone while doing this?
Only a character in a story I am working on.

71) Do you want a relationship right now?
Have one. Love her very much.

72) What are you about to do right now?
Well, when this throw up headache feeling goes away I want to clean up the apartment and clean out the refrigerator.

73) Would you hug your most recent ex?
Yea if she needed it.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTION
Brian C. Williams

THE TITLE IS: FLIGHT OF THE COUPLE QUESTIONS

THE TITLE IS: I WILL HATE THE TREES AND EAT THEM

The Job Fair kind of sucked and felt kind of sexist to me but I'm too tired for ranting. I'm going to be going to the doctor because I have never felt this bad in my life and though I hate doctors and think sometimes voodo would do more for me I'm going to go because I'm also scared. I'm also changing my eating habits and Mar is also so it will make it easier on both of us.

C.

THE TITLE IS: I WILL HATE THE TREES AND EAT THEM

THE TITLE IS: THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE POSTED YESTERDAY

I’m trying to rest today and I’m feeling a little better. Tomorrow I will be a going to a Job Fair thingee and probably to the doctor later in the week. But lets think good thoughts but please keep the Care Bears away from me. I’m still a bit grouchy. Thanks to everyone who have left any sort of good thoughts since I left the old pay the rent job. The e-mails and comments are greatly appreciated.

Right now I’m watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. Robbin, it’s the episode with Barkley and the transporters. Next Generation is my favorite Trek series but a close second is actually Deep Space Nine. Though I have never been a big huge huge Star Trek fan I have always enjoyed watching the series when they are on. Well, I didn’t enjoy Enterprise but who the fuck did? Enterprise made Voyager look like Shakespeare.

Now some may see the following as bad thoughts but they really aren’t. I’ve always been a little Goth in nature so thoughts of death really never signal signs of depression. See lately I have been thinking if I die what would I leave behind. Now I’m not talking about friendships or such or money because I’m as broke as broke can be, I’m speaking as a writer. Now I’ve sold and had things published here and there but never anything in book form or a short story in any sort of wide distributed collection. As a writer I have been thinking would anyone even know how much writing meant to me and how much passion I had for the story we all as writers put a part in? The story of the whole of humanities imagination. What do I leave behind as my part to the story? So I’m writing like a mad man to finish as much of my writing as I can. I’m writing to put everything I have on paper down onto computer because no one can read my hand writing. Stupid thoughts I know from someone who has never had a major publication but how are they going to put all my writing bits into some sort of huge collection if they can’t read my hand writing?

Well, The Trek episode just ended and another is starting so I will end that thought and move on to reading more of Twilight.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

©SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
Brian C. Williams

THE TITLE IS: THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE POSTED YESTERDAY

THE TITLE IS: DESIGN FOR THE HUMAN DIME

Had a great time with friends last night hanging out and watching movies and running our mouths. Today I’m not really feeling much better. I think I’m going to go to the doctor in the next few days. I’ve been feeling really down and stressed so much and I also have been having little chest pains and with my terrible eating habits and family history those are not good signs. Yes, this scares me a whole lot. I’m stressed and it is making me sick but one of my biggest stressors is how sick I think I maybe. Right now just about the only way I can stay calm is when writing or reading. Yea, scared. Quite a bit.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

As always if you have any comments you wish to make by e-mail you can contact me by:
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
If you wish for me to keep your name and information private please let me know so in the e-mail.

(c)SYSTEM*PRODUCTIONS
brian c. williams

THE TITLE IS: DESIGN FOR THE HUMAN DIME

THE TITLE IS: NEED A PILL WITH A WILL TO HEAL

Will go grocery shopping today. Now to get me through the place without ordering the most unhealthy stuff in the world. Good thing is I have Mar to keep me from- one being Mr. Impulse Buyer and picking up everything I see that’s shiny and two to keep me from buy a cart full of beef jerky because I have always lead my life in a way that says, “There is never enough jerky in your life.”

I’m feeling better today but now it is time for me to try and clean up the living room a little. We have my scientist coming over for what will probably lead to drinks and deep thoughts. Now all we need to have is a model over and We Have A Party Happening! Though maybe a model would lead to inappropriate pictures. Here’s hoping! At least we aren’t having over any mooches who live off women and look like some sort of cheap porn director asshole….sorry, got inside and personal there for a bit. Anyone who does not know me personal should just put this bit out of their minds.

I have started reading Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Need to finish that up before we go to the signing so I will not feel like a big dippy dope in getting my copy signed. After Twilight I plan to read Mort by Terry Pratchett from a recommendation from Katie from Katie‘s Reading. See the links to the right for her blog of book reviews of what she is and plans to read. I love her blog because most of what she reads I would not pick up on my own and thus I’m introduced to books I would not normally hear about.

I have to return to cleaning I guess. I’m such a slob. I wonder why Mar puts up with me? I guess I’m just too cute for words…..Mar stop the laughing while reading this. No laughing at the toothless guy when company is coming over.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: NEED A PILL WITH A WILL TO HEAL

THE TITLE IS: OH, YEA, THE MEAT PLATTER WAS A GOOD IDEA

The eye isn’t twitching today. My chest is hurting and I was bend over in the bedroom for a while tonight with what I think is either my old ulcer coming back or my old kidney stones coming back. Oh, you think it is stress related. No shit, had that idea myself. Un-directed bitching aside I watched and recorded Our Universe: The Big Bang the other night on The History Channel. I love that series. Robbin, I will bring it over when we come over unless I kill over between now and then. In that case its sitting on my copy of Wicked.
How do you thank someone for being a good influence in your life in a getting you interested in things you always thought yourself not smart enough to explore? Robbin, you opened my eyes to science in a way no teacher ever did. Now I guess I will have to add some real science in my stories with all the made up shit that comes out of my head. I am so glade your friendship has entered my life and not just for the reason I listed above. Now I know you can’t wait until I butcher a lot of science along with the English writing bit in a story but you will have to wait a bit longer because I have two other books ahead of that one.

Visited the bank to straighten out some shit not of my doing. Am I the only person who when they talk to someone at the bank thinks they only see you as a balance amount? I have a feeling if I waved a few hundreds into some of these peoples faces they might even smile in my direction. With as low as my bank account is they barley knowledge my existence. Might be because of the earlier bitching mode I spoke of but this entry maybe a back and forth between positive and negative writing.

Speaking of writing and a positive. The darker in tone first draft of a book I am writing hit the last stretch section of the book last night and I finished the rough first draft. Now that I know how the story is going to end I think I will end this notebook draft in the next couple of days and move onto a computer draft. I like this story but I may just release it for free as a PDF online. I think it maybe too hardcore and out there for publication.

Mar is doing the dishes because of my little sick spell earlier. I’m watching Simpsons and King Of The Hill as she does that. I really feel like shit and I know I’ve been saying it for years but I have to change the way I live. I need to exercise and eat better. Hell, I can’t die yet I really want to piss off a lot of people with my crappy writing before I go.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: OH, YEA, THE MEAT PLATTER WAS A GOOD IDEA

THE TITLE IS: EYE TWITCHING INTO INSANITY

My daily dietary habits make the National Heart Associations study on dietary habits scream in horror. And add to that now that my current stress level is making my left eye twitch like a crack addict walking through a Congressman’s office and I do not say that my health is in line right now. Now ever time its starts twitching really bad I turn for Mar to see and it stops. So no one else is seeing this yet and it maybe that fate and creation at large is teasing me as such or I’m going mad and this is all a part of my imagination and my drifting into further delusionment. Did I spell that right? Who cares, I’m typing with one eye right now. Good news is Mar loves pirates.

Though I will have a photo entry up about the Tampa trip soon I will say now that I loved the trip and spending time with Mar away from everything. Though the traffic sucks there I wouldn’t mind living there. I spotted some book stores, a Best Buy, and what seems like a good public transportation system. I planned to do some reading and writing while there but put all of that aside to completely have a wonderful time with the women I love to celebrate her birthday with a concert and lots of other things. We Housed it up lots and lots.

Reading wise I’m still reading Infinite Crisis by Greg Cox and once I finish that I will probably move on to Twilight by Stephenie Meyer which I have to finish quick before going to the signing. Mar has read the books but I think it would be kind of sucky to get someones autography on a book I haven’t even read. I recently finished reading-The Original Hitchhiker Radio Scripts by Douglas Adams, Universe In Your Pocket by Joel Levy, Hellblazer: Black Flowers by Mike Carey, The Return Of Superman by various, Secret Societies by Nick Harding, and Showcase Presents Justice League Of America: Volume Two by various. Books are life savers when you are in a happy state and even more so when you are just angry and depressed.

Mar bought me two Doctor Who DVDs the other day while in Orlando even though it was on her birthday days. I now have Doctor Who: Survival and Doctor Who: The Web Planet in my collection. She loves me. I love her. We are of the love.

The currently airing season of Doctor Who is nearing the end point of the season. I love Friday nights on The Sci-Fi Channel. Those fuckers just need to start airing classic Who episodes. I might even watch some of their crappy TV movies if they did so.

I love writing. It is not only my passion it sometimes is my escape from not only the world but myself. I am still working on the 2nd Draft of Stereo but with the leaving the pay the rent job stress and other worldly bullshit my passion is helping me stir off dark feelings into a story that is probably one of the darkest I have written ever and I love it because its taking me away from any normal track I would be on when writing or just thinking in general. The 1st Draft is being hand written in a notebook at the moment which I thought suited this particular story. I think the 2nd Draft will be in a big journal and not even approach a computer draft until the 3rd Draft.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: EYE TWITCHING INTO INSANITY

THE TITLE IS: SITTING ON A CURB

A lot of stuff is going on right now. Will post pictures from our Tampa trip soon. Working on a new book draft that is nothing like I normally write so it is taking my mind off the lack of job stress stuff. Things maybe going legal from the old job which is more stress but I'm tired of getting screwed without kisses. I'm not that kind of whore at least. Will be updating more often starting next week.

Remember just because you don't know who you are, it is not excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: SITTING ON A CURB

THE TITLE IS: A LOOK AT THE FOUND

I am curretnly drawning myself into my writing to put away from deep anger. And yes drawning is the perfect word for it.

C.

THE TITLE IS: A LOOK AT THE FOUND

THE TITLE IS: FROM MY LIPS

The world plays with pain. I will no longer stand still for a second in the face of injustice. I will rage with anger in the face of it. You, the world brought your hard game. I am just getting started in my fight back against you. You awoke something. Now the true tests come.

C.

THE TITLE IS: FROM MY LIPS

THE TITLE IS: FUN HOME? IS THAT POSSIABLE?

Spending time at the library today working on my resume and reading. Besides reading Infinite Crisis I also picked up some graphic novels which I finished and loved. Lets see if I can do some links to what I read here in blogger. I usually do them in Word first before posting.

The first book was Fun Home by Alison Bechdel and then later I finished off Desolation Jones by Warren Ellis. Two very different but very enjoyable books. I recommend both of them to anyone out there. Both are adult reads so don't fall in the old trap of thinking all comic books are for kids and then come complaining to me if you bought this for your kid and they now know women masterbate and the world is harsh.

Which sort of brings me to the subject of cold family types. As example. A young girl was in the library with a huge stack of books. She was sitting in front of me at another table. By ear dropping as I call it. Most writers I think are pretty nosey because they get ideas from living folks but we just hide it better than people like my mother. While hearing this girld talk to Aunt and Uncle sort of weirded me out. They made her call them that and when the women spoke up to tell the "Uncle" about anything he would say things like, "Don't tell me what to do." or "I already knew that." and it was coming from a pure hatered place. Belive me. I grew up with those tones of speech. The controling nature of some men makes me regret how I was born. Not regert enough to have anything cut off but men are such assholes. Back to the cold family thing that I'm trying to talk about but mostly just blindly rambling through sentences and mis-spelled words. These types of families drive me nuts. My family was and is not perfect but at least it was never this cold. Yes I would have rather we been more close because the only time my family hugged was funerals and weddings but at lease my family showed real emotions towards each other. Cold families created cold children who grow to make the world colder. My family just created two dumb ones and one crazy one who are growing towards nothing. When I'm depressed I think along those lines. Well, the dumb ones comment is always there.

Nothing much else to say now but maybe later. I need to find a job soon because I'm not only going nuts from inactivity but from being too deep within my mind without breaks. Writing and reading and the love of a beatiful woman can save your sanity. I know this for sure.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: FUN HOME? IS THAT POSSIABLE?

THE TITLE IS: FATAL FUCK

And no the title is not about having that last great bit of sex that will kill you. Though that has almost happen to me twice with two different ladies but I'm rambling. More drama happen last night with me leaving the pay the rent job or as I should call it now the Mules And Dumbfucks job. The title- Fatal Fuck is just something that danced into my head of how I feel right now. I could not take another day at that job but now I just feel like I have let so many people down. Will be sending out a bunch of resumes today but I'm not in the best of moods and feeling out applications and interviews always make me extremly nervous. But to push that to the side to help me get though this I started a new book, which is always good for me. Doctor Who-The Burning will have to wait once again for me to go off elsewhere for a bit. I'm currently reading Infinite Crisis by Greg Cox. It is a prose adaption of the comic book limited series. Now to escape for a bit and not think...and no that is not a comment on the content of the book just somethings distract me more than others. Jack The Ripper stuff does the same thing...But lets not go there.

C.

THE TITLE IS: FATAL FUCK

THE TITLE IS: WHEN TIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO STEP OFF

I put in my notice at the pay the rent job last night. Things had just went the wrong way in my opinion in how things are operated on a daily basis. I wish I could have found a way to stay but for my health and honor I had to end this two year working relationship.(yea, it does sound weird when somene besides Superman says honor)How am I you may ask because a few people are, Love to you Robbin, Besides being frightened about the future in finding a job the thing that bothers me more than anything else is how this is happening right before Wave's birthday. We had a big trip and stuff planned. I'm in a very much anger stage about this right now. Anger at myself for how this is effecting those I love and anger at something being pushed that did not in my opinion have to happen.

C.

THE TITLE IS: WHEN TIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO STEP OFF

Integrity

"It is not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity."
- - Francis Bacon

Integrity

THE TITLE IS: NO SOAP FOR ME!

We stopped off for lunch before Mar took me to work today. For once she got the more expensive meal and I got something responsibly cheap. I was in the mood for a sandwich and ended up ordering a portabella melt with a side of smashed potatoes. I brought the leftovers to work and downed them really quick.

The pay the rent job is still driving me crazier each day I’m here but I’m trying to channel it into some creative projects to keep my sanity.

Let us close some windows before my computer goes blue screen on me,
This is an old interview with Terry Moore before- Strangers In Paradise ended but I found it an interesting read about the start of the series and other subject matter. I had never heard the whole getting kicked out of church story at all so that alone makes it worth the read if you are at all interested in the series.

Gingrich says war is phony
Well, you know, the way I see it this guy is one of those politicians who would say the sky had suddenly turned pink if he knew it may gain him favor. Usually with Republican I just see them as people with different views than my own and just simple as that, Though true republican beliefs are not that far from mine in some areas but with Mr.Gingrich, If you really read about him and study him as a political figure you will see why so man of my fellow Americans would rather vote for some actor who they know is in fact fake most of his days than some politician who acts like he is true to the voters who put him into office.

Bush did it a while ago
I love when I come across news stories and think to myself, “How did I miss this? Did this happen?” And then wish I had never heard it because it just pisses me off more and more. What gets me is not that one political party does this type of thing, No, it is that any party in this country could let acts like this pass and not see the slippery slope our country is heading down.

For all those people who have told me the last few years this was not coming. It is. Get ready but it will get really ugly when it does and I think when it does we are looking at civil unrest at the possible scale of a civil war in this country. The only thing that would keep that from happening is a massive attack on American soil. And if that happens I’m moving back on top that mountain where I was born.

Do you ever get the feeling that our enemies are sitting around just watching us destroy ourselves from within and saying something along the lines of, “Dude(because all terrorists like to call each other dude. Its true, I think I saw it on CNN) “Dude, we don’t have to do shit, they are destroying themselves.”

How come on my pissed off days nothing in the news catches my eyes except for political B.S.?

Oh, but I need to give a thanks for the recommendations to Katie. I have Mort on hold at the library as of tonight. Might help to take my mind off some other shit going down.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,
C.

THE TITLE IS: NO SOAP FOR ME!

THE TITLE IS: WHERE WAS THE BANDIT WHEN I NEEDED HIM?

So last night I got pulled over again because I still haven’t fixed my back lights on my truck. I know, I know, I know. We picked up new bulbs but that was not it and I have not had the time to pick up the new cover for the passenger side which is totally broken out. More than likely coming from a lot of people who know a lot more about cars than myself it is the fuse. I showed the police lady my fix it ticket from before and my order from the auto parts store and she told me not to drive the truck again until I get everything fixed and let me go. Hey, a nice cop. Is it by chance it was a “nice lady cop” Probably not. Guys are assholes and for the most part male cops even more so. I was lucky I did not get another ticket but I was so stressed when I got home that I did not go to bed until 4am and did not get to sleep until around 5am. After sleep until like 1pm Mar brought me into work but I walked into another shit storm here once again and as I said to Mar, “Am I still not allowed to kill people?”

I am so frustrated at the pay the rent job at the moment which is inspiring some very dark and off the wall weird stories to come out of me. Between working on the 2nd Draft of Stereo last night I also wrote the first draft of a four issue comic series that is set after Stereo and based in the same universe as it is. A sort of bridge between the books in the series. I would not mind doing this with every book in the series if things work out and people like the book thus warranting such things to happen. The artist I talked to about doing this mini series wanted to work on something superheroish in story because he normally does not do that type of artwork but I will have to see if he likes this. It is still superhero but also very “I wonder if he was taking drugs when he wrote this” which I wasn’t but its got lots of sections that fit that line of thinking.

Run across this online today. Dragon Bag.Really cool don’t you think.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

THE TITLE IS: WHERE WAS THE BANDIT WHEN I NEEDED HIM?