I am writing this today, today being Tuesday, the Tuesday of last week to you. Today I woke up still sick but after my love made me toast and a smoothie we went to the gym and a sluggish day at the gym was had were I spent most of it distracted. Distracted partly by Wave running on the treadmill and the other partly by what I was going to write for Anti-Torture Blog Day. I just did not want the torture to come when someone reads my blog.
I returned from the gym tired and Wave headed off to work and I use AND way too much to be anything more than a hack writer…And I mean it, I am also a little Emo… and a little Cherokee… Anyways, I got on the computer after Wave left to either start my story or create my own religion. I did not do either task, though on the later, maybe Sunday? Just need to schedule a resurrection? Wonder how much they cost, probably just a few thousand lives in a few Crusades?... Ok, sick, bad mood, equals Brian writing senseless and angry at times. I guess this thing might turn out to be pain for some people…But hopefully for just the right people.
Later in the day while eating some of Wave’s delicious Vegetarian Shepard’s Pie she called me on my cell while I was watching M*A*S*H. She was stressed and upset by something that stresses and upsets me also, not that too much does not. Remember the Emo mention above? I would be Goth but I have no dress sense whatsoever. Emo goes better than Goth on 33, no front teeth, cubby, and a love for Bend It Like Beckham.
Yea, that’s right. I’m not ashamed.
Wave’s call had me thinking. This thinking mixed with my previous thinking stewed into a thinking writing blood pudding. Add in loud music and I was so disconnected from everything around me that I was one with the thoughts I have when reading or viewing images on the torture acts my country has taken part in.
I wonder if some of the talking, shouting, whispering, flag worshipping people knew while standing chest out in front of a flag in technicolor set up for a photo-op, if they knew while preaching a Uncle Sam doctrine of doing anything to protect America with asterisks pointing you to the bottom of the page where it says, “We know it is not a useful tool but we enjoy it so very much, like Peeps.” I wonder if when the speeches were over and the backs were patted, I wonder how they would feel if they found out their son, daughter, brother, sister, or house keepers second cousin had been taken as a prisoner of war?
I worry about Wave because the world is not a bandage, the world is a seeping sore. I worry about her because she worries and things out of our control can affect her, can hurt her. I ask myself if out of the wisdom of the great Rassilon, God, the salty Spaghetti Monster Fred, what if something in creation lead her into a situation of being a prisoner of war… I would hope and pray to all the Gods I do not believe in that those who are holding her do not treat her how we seem to be able to happily treat our prisoners.
Wasn’t there a time when dirty government secrets were hidden and the subject of bad 50cent novels? Makes you wonder what we don’t know about? Makes you wonder about what bleedings we are not seeing? Makes you wonder how much longer until we are all as a community whole called humanity going to take all this bullshit?
Even Mr. Brian (sometimes called Billy) Clifton Williams could not fall that far into fantasy to think if someone I loved became a prisoner of war that they would be treated differently from how our government gleefully treats its prisoners of war. How can our political leaders not see the counterproductiveity….tivity of seeing torture as being anything else but a threat, a direct sight line aimed at our own?
I fight no battles for a greater good, no higher honor, or work of fiction about gardens, serpents, and planets that started with a whole honking of incest. I fight my battles for those I love because issues such as torture, friendly fire, civilian causalities, the rape of civilians as well as our own service women by their fellow soldiers are issues which should be to everyone and most certainly are to me issues which I am ready to die for.
And you don’t have to sound bit or give me rank for me to do so.
I am anti-torture and anti-being a sheep to my government.
You call me what you wish and I will wear the button with pride and be your label which you sorrowfully get glee from putting on me. Call me feminist, peace monger, liberal, or anything else, because I am those things and so many more.
Now I am off to work on my short story for Friday and also another novel that probably very few will read but I will learn from it as I did from the last one and move on. My days will have battles. My days will have wars. I will fight for my loves, my words, but I will also fight for others to be treated with dignity and respect no matter how they may or may not see me.
C.
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1 comment:
Um, what were we talking about that day? You know everything makes me angry. I'm like that girl in Re-gifters lol. I love you.
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