Tuesday, August 28, 2007


I am curretnly drawning myself into my writing to put away from deep anger. And yes drawning is the perfect word for it.


Sunday, August 26, 2007


The world plays with pain. I will no longer stand still for a second in the face of injustice. I will rage with anger in the face of it. You, the world brought your hard game. I am just getting started in my fight back against you. You awoke something. Now the true tests come.


Thursday, August 23, 2007


Spending time at the library today working on my resume and reading. Besides reading Infinite Crisis I also picked up some graphic novels which I finished and loved. Lets see if I can do some links to what I read here in blogger. I usually do them in Word first before posting.

The first book was Fun Home by Alison Bechdel and then later I finished off Desolation Jones by Warren Ellis. Two very different but very enjoyable books. I recommend both of them to anyone out there. Both are adult reads so don't fall in the old trap of thinking all comic books are for kids and then come complaining to me if you bought this for your kid and they now know women masterbate and the world is harsh.

Which sort of brings me to the subject of cold family types. As example. A young girl was in the library with a huge stack of books. She was sitting in front of me at another table. By ear dropping as I call it. Most writers I think are pretty nosey because they get ideas from living folks but we just hide it better than people like my mother. While hearing this girld talk to Aunt and Uncle sort of weirded me out. They made her call them that and when the women spoke up to tell the "Uncle" about anything he would say things like, "Don't tell me what to do." or "I already knew that." and it was coming from a pure hatered place. Belive me. I grew up with those tones of speech. The controling nature of some men makes me regret how I was born. Not regert enough to have anything cut off but men are such assholes. Back to the cold family thing that I'm trying to talk about but mostly just blindly rambling through sentences and mis-spelled words. These types of families drive me nuts. My family was and is not perfect but at least it was never this cold. Yes I would have rather we been more close because the only time my family hugged was funerals and weddings but at lease my family showed real emotions towards each other. Cold families created cold children who grow to make the world colder. My family just created two dumb ones and one crazy one who are growing towards nothing. When I'm depressed I think along those lines. Well, the dumb ones comment is always there.

Nothing much else to say now but maybe later. I need to find a job soon because I'm not only going nuts from inactivity but from being too deep within my mind without breaks. Writing and reading and the love of a beatiful woman can save your sanity. I know this for sure.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,


And no the title is not about having that last great bit of sex that will kill you. Though that has almost happen to me twice with two different ladies but I'm rambling. More drama happen last night with me leaving the pay the rent job or as I should call it now the Mules And Dumbfucks job. The title- Fatal Fuck is just something that danced into my head of how I feel right now. I could not take another day at that job but now I just feel like I have let so many people down. Will be sending out a bunch of resumes today but I'm not in the best of moods and feeling out applications and interviews always make me extremly nervous. But to push that to the side to help me get though this I started a new book, which is always good for me. Doctor Who-The Burning will have to wait once again for me to go off elsewhere for a bit. I'm currently reading Infinite Crisis by Greg Cox. It is a prose adaption of the comic book limited series. Now to escape for a bit and not think...and no that is not a comment on the content of the book just somethings distract me more than others. Jack The Ripper stuff does the same thing...But lets not go there.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I put in my notice at the pay the rent job last night. Things had just went the wrong way in my opinion in how things are operated on a daily basis. I wish I could have found a way to stay but for my health and honor I had to end this two year working relationship.(yea, it does sound weird when somene besides Superman says honor)How am I you may ask because a few people are, Love to you Robbin, Besides being frightened about the future in finding a job the thing that bothers me more than anything else is how this is happening right before Wave's birthday. We had a big trip and stuff planned. I'm in a very much anger stage about this right now. Anger at myself for how this is effecting those I love and anger at something being pushed that did not in my opinion have to happen.


Monday, August 20, 2007


"It is not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity."
- - Francis Bacon

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


We stopped off for lunch before Mar took me to work today. For once she got the more expensive meal and I got something responsibly cheap. I was in the mood for a sandwich and ended up ordering a portabella melt with a side of smashed potatoes. I brought the leftovers to work and downed them really quick.

The pay the rent job is still driving me crazier each day I’m here but I’m trying to channel it into some creative projects to keep my sanity.

Let us close some windows before my computer goes blue screen on me,
This is an old interview with Terry Moore before- Strangers In Paradise ended but I found it an interesting read about the start of the series and other subject matter. I had never heard the whole getting kicked out of church story at all so that alone makes it worth the read if you are at all interested in the series.

Gingrich says war is phony
Well, you know, the way I see it this guy is one of those politicians who would say the sky had suddenly turned pink if he knew it may gain him favor. Usually with Republican I just see them as people with different views than my own and just simple as that, Though true republican beliefs are not that far from mine in some areas but with Mr.Gingrich, If you really read about him and study him as a political figure you will see why so man of my fellow Americans would rather vote for some actor who they know is in fact fake most of his days than some politician who acts like he is true to the voters who put him into office.

Bush did it a while ago
I love when I come across news stories and think to myself, “How did I miss this? Did this happen?” And then wish I had never heard it because it just pisses me off more and more. What gets me is not that one political party does this type of thing, No, it is that any party in this country could let acts like this pass and not see the slippery slope our country is heading down.

For all those people who have told me the last few years this was not coming. It is. Get ready but it will get really ugly when it does and I think when it does we are looking at civil unrest at the possible scale of a civil war in this country. The only thing that would keep that from happening is a massive attack on American soil. And if that happens I’m moving back on top that mountain where I was born.

Do you ever get the feeling that our enemies are sitting around just watching us destroy ourselves from within and saying something along the lines of, “Dude(because all terrorists like to call each other dude. Its true, I think I saw it on CNN) “Dude, we don’t have to do shit, they are destroying themselves.”

How come on my pissed off days nothing in the news catches my eyes except for political B.S.?

Oh, but I need to give a thanks for the recommendations to Katie. I have Mort on hold at the library as of tonight. Might help to take my mind off some other shit going down.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


So last night I got pulled over again because I still haven’t fixed my back lights on my truck. I know, I know, I know. We picked up new bulbs but that was not it and I have not had the time to pick up the new cover for the passenger side which is totally broken out. More than likely coming from a lot of people who know a lot more about cars than myself it is the fuse. I showed the police lady my fix it ticket from before and my order from the auto parts store and she told me not to drive the truck again until I get everything fixed and let me go. Hey, a nice cop. Is it by chance it was a “nice lady cop” Probably not. Guys are assholes and for the most part male cops even more so. I was lucky I did not get another ticket but I was so stressed when I got home that I did not go to bed until 4am and did not get to sleep until around 5am. After sleep until like 1pm Mar brought me into work but I walked into another shit storm here once again and as I said to Mar, “Am I still not allowed to kill people?”

I am so frustrated at the pay the rent job at the moment which is inspiring some very dark and off the wall weird stories to come out of me. Between working on the 2nd Draft of Stereo last night I also wrote the first draft of a four issue comic series that is set after Stereo and based in the same universe as it is. A sort of bridge between the books in the series. I would not mind doing this with every book in the series if things work out and people like the book thus warranting such things to happen. The artist I talked to about doing this mini series wanted to work on something superheroish in story because he normally does not do that type of artwork but I will have to see if he likes this. It is still superhero but also very “I wonder if he was taking drugs when he wrote this” which I wasn’t but its got lots of sections that fit that line of thinking.

Run across this online today. Dragon Bag.Really cool don’t you think.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

Monday, August 13, 2007


Responding to a comment left by Katie. 1974 was the working title of a book I wrote the 1st draft of a couple years ago. It’s been on my mind of late as I think about what will be the book I will be working on after Stereo is finished.

Just finished reading Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl and I will start back reading Doctor Who: The Burning which I stared months ago but got sidetracked by other books and writing work. Then after visiting Doctor Who for a while maybe I will see if I can find Boy Toy by the same writer as Fanboy and Goth Girl and set in the same school; which would be cool reading it and hoping they mention the lead characters from book one because I liked the book but thought it ended really suddenly.

Now lets close some windows:
Bookstore chain puts the screws on small publishers
I remember someone once told in Vancouver when speaking about small versus large production companies that you put the screws to those you can because someone is probably putting them to you also. Which is complete bullshit but I thought I would share.

Some interesting interviews with some very talented people here,here, andhere.

Hindu prayer in Senate
How come when I find something like this I think it must be an internet hoax thing? Maybe I want to think we are not this much of a fucking asshole filled country that would let our elected politicians get away with stuff like this? I don’t know…..

TARDIS USB Hub. I want one. But what are they used for?... Just kidding….Robbin told me!

Research is fun. Organizing what I find on the other hand is work. Finding out that you have just read a book for research and will only use about a sentence worth of information from is sort of frustrating if I think about it too much…Which I don’t think I will.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

Sunday, August 12, 2007


I’m still working away on the 2nd Draft of STEREO when I find time at work and at home. Though for the most part the only time I find a chance to work on it is during brakes at the pay the rent. I have been adding new chapters that just need to be there while also filling holes which had me saying, "How could I not have noticed that before." Once I get all the stuff from the editor’s notes and those from myself after reading the edited 1st Draft worked into the story I will be ready to move onto the next step on this draft. After I get all of that washed all clean I'm going to go back and dirty it all up again working on the dialogue in an attempt to give each of the characters their own voice. Some do already but others really sound too bland.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

Friday, August 10, 2007


For the ones who sit in a prison cell,
They who have sin but are waiting an end,
You give them mercy through a daily Hell,
Now come to your conclusions of opinion and sit in there,
Beside the tears running down a lonely face,
Come up and ride your horse and they are still right there,

For the ones pushed from locker to locker,
They just move through the halls whispering,
And you read and wonder what caused this much hate,
Now come to your conclusions of opinion and sit in there,
Beside the tears running down a lonely face,

For the natures of us all,
Bottle up all your falsehoods,
Take all your bibles and burn them on a high hill,
Warm the depths of all of our hearts at once,
This is all we have,

For the family at its last penny and stealing will feed small mouths,
They are the example of life,
You preach about dealing with what life gives you,
I give you my hate,

For the natures of us all,
Bottle up all your falsehoods,
Take all your bibles and burn them on a high hill,
Warm the depths of all of our hearts at once,
This is all we have,

For the women who asks,
Why is my rape just a part of my life,
Why do I wish you dead?
Why do I wish you dead?
Why do I wish you dead?

For the natures of us all,
Warm the depths all at once,
To the eternity of hanging our heads,
No mercy around here,

©2007, brian c. Williams


THE TITLE IS: ? ? ? ?


Thursday, August 9, 2007


I want this when it comes out. Wait, no. I mean I will get this when it comes out.

Remember Not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,


I will start by responding to some comments left here. Oh, and just so people know because someone asked me in an e-mail about if I respond to all comments? The answer to “all” is No. And this is because some comments do not warrant responses by their nature. If you ask me a question I will respond here or by e-mail if you would prefer that. To people who I know and have their e-mail addy I usually respond that way. Then throw in the factor that I’m pretty scatter brained sometimes and forget to respond to something all together and if this happens with you e-mail me or comment again. Keeps me in line.

Now to responses to comments left:
I enjoyed the last Harry Potter book it seems more than most people I have talked to and I also did not mind the sappy ending all that much. I think she did that sort of to seal the deal on the series so to speak. I do think this one will actually make a better movie because they will have to scale it back and that will help this one when it hurt some of the others.
As to my current reading. I have enjoyed it so far and would recommend it just off what I have read at this point. The comic references may go too over some people’s heads but I think with a little thinking you can get by that part of the way the story is being told.

Lets close some windows:
quick-draw cell phone
The first thing I thought when seeing this was Spiderman’s web shooters.

Galaxies clash in four-way
And if that doesn’t get your science rocks off, I don’t know what will.

Image Founders reunion
Interesting being that I was one of the people that spent a lot of money on some of the shitty books they put out in the beginning. My favorite books from the original image group are Savage Dragon and Wildcats. Never knew what the big deal with Spawn was…Still don’t? But today I believe Image puts out a lot of quality books every month and is great. Though, that would not have been my view a few years ago.


Library Thing
Kind of cool but couldn’t you just do this yourself with Excel or a web publishing program?

70% larger than Jupiter.
Now that is one healthy size planet.

Living Dead Girlz
Found at Warren Ellis’s blog. I really shouldn’t go to his blog late at night. I ended up having the weirdest dream about this and No I’m not going to share.

Top 25 Cliffhangers of all time
Most of these are good but putting anything to do with Lost on there….I just don’t get the appeal of that show at all. Sorry, talented people work on it but I just don’t get it. Feel the same about 24. Too much gimmick for me puts blinders on I think.

Remember Not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


Finished reading the last Harry Potter book last night and even though many around me are saying they did not like it because of many reasons, I did enjoy the book. I agree it is not the best of the books and maybe the least of over all quality but endings very seldom live up to their hype. It dragged for most of it in my opinion and she tried so hard to do so much with the last book but the last five or so chapters made up for it. I found I was right about a number of things I guessed after Half-Blood Prince and look forward to the next place this writer chooses to explore.

Now I’m starting THE ASTONISHING ADVENTURES OF FANBOY AND GOTH GIRL by Barry Lyga. Hey, with a title like that it deserved to be in all caps. I already see a lot of comic geekdom references in it but lets see if it is more than that. Oh, and I’m the Court Jester of that ‘dom by the way.

Remember not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,


Having to get out of bed from the arms of my love,
Missing the shuttle launch,
Going to work,
Being at work,
Thinking about having to work this weekend,
Having to think about having to work all weekend,
Thinking about work tomorrow before I have left work tonight,

Reasons why when I write on breaks at work it gets very dark in those corners of the story.


Tuesday, August 7, 2007


And now the Fountain Of Youth photos. And I will try this time not to spell Marsh as March but it might be a little easier this time since I do not think there was much march at this place.

Coffee keeps me safe in certain company :)

My fat butt at the entrance of the Fountain Of Youth.

They had a huge globe showing us the trips across to this place back in the olden days. It started with the begining of the planet. I was watching Mar as she was waiting and I was watching her waiting to see if they mentioned if God created the Heavens and the Earth but they did not. It would have been interesting to see if that big globe would have gotten it's ass kicked or not though.

The last of these photos are all around the place which as it turns out the best part of the trip to this spot was the walk around.

Hey, it did have a marchy spot.


THE TITLE IS: Santa Teresa De Mose

The group of pictures I'm going to show today are from Sunday. I took them so blame me if they do not look post worthy. I enjoyed this trip a lot. The sites Mar picked this time to visit was a lot better than when I picked out things last time to visit. She is also a great person to travel to historical sites with because she usualy knows a lot about them before we even go there.

Below is us on our way from the hotel after checking out and having a free breakfest. And yes that is my thumb in part of the picture. It would not be a truth grouping of tourist pictures without a thumb in one of the pictures now would it?

Our first stop of the day was Santa Teresa De Mose. Mar will probably let me know if I get anything wrong but I enjoyed learning this history that I did not know before. You should look some of this up. It is fasinating and actually shows that Florida has gone backwards in so many ways from better beginings.

Next are some beautiful pictures from the park they are working on. Most of it is march so I do not see them being able to put much more in there but we plan to return to see what is new. The visitor center I think said it would be open in March?

And below are the sights of the over building of modern Florida staining the sights of history. You may not be able to see from our throw away camera but they are building apartments and highways all around the place.

Then I took pictures of the entrance as we were leaving.

Stewey is our co-pilot. God was drunkenly late for work once again so we traveled with Stewey. Stewey and Brian together once again...Where is my martinia though?

I will post on our visit to the Fountain Of Youth later tonight and on whether I decided to jump in, in an attempt to regain my girlish figure from my youth.


Monday, August 6, 2007


I will post some photos from the St. Augustine trip over the weekend tomorrow night. We actually remembered to not only take pictures this time but also have at least one camera developed. Hell, this is big news we still haven’t had the film developed from our last trip there about a year ago. This trip was much better I think because we saw more stuff and I drove there so Mar was not as tired when we got there as before. Though I did not drive back which I really wanted to do because my leg was hurting really bad from all the walking. My body is not for the exercise as you other people call it.

Ok, now to close some windows:

Possessed Books
This would be cool if you could choose which books would make up the device, then people would never see it coming.

The Strangest Sights in Google Earth
Ok, the first time this thing catches me picking my nose I’m going to go all Dr. Evil on the satellites.

'I know I'm not a good celebrity'
I like her. One of the best of Hollywood’s young actors I think.

Neil Gaiman's tales of the mythic
It’s come to my attention that I would probably buy shoes if Neil wrote something on them. Which brings me to one of my recent purchases of these.

I have come to the conclusion that Warren Ellis’s writing makes my head hurt and smile at the same time and I thank him for that.

For Mar.

National Stadium
See Mar, this is what I was talking about.

XRay Kiss

Most Beautiful Award
Reminds me of the Commandos I travel with from time to time.

Gadget for my addiction
I like, I like.

Robbin this is for you.

If you did it’s your own fault!

Famed 80’s Celebrity remains found
I think one of the Ghosts did it.

Hello and Kitty
For Touch

Hand Sopa
Just a bit creepy.

Remember Not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

Sunday, August 5, 2007


Mar and myself just got back from St. Augustine. I will try to get up photos and a blog entry about the trip by at least Tuesday but we both enjoyed the time away from all the other bullshit that has been driving us nuts of late. Now we are just dead tired from walking around everywhere in the Florida heat.

Oh, and Robbin. I got something for you :)


Friday, August 3, 2007


Just packaged up a job that needed to leave today with today being a deadline set last night, so sort of in a kind of sort of way… A little last MINUTE! Got everything ready to go and went to my FedEx account online to find out someone tried to log in too many times today and failed so it locked out me out. No time to play with it or people saying I’m just putting in the password wrong, so I rushed over to the shipping department at the pay the rent job with the account number to have them print off the paper work to discover they did all of their FedEx shipments early today…Ok….SHIT! Ran back from the shipping department to map quest the nearest FedEx location, gave the information and package to a couple of my people, sent them out the door to try and find the place and keep all of this shit that has happen from landing on my lap if this does not ship today. Now I’m just waiting to see to hear if they made it there on time…

Remember Not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,


I think my biggest problem for years when it came to my writing, besides a slow moving lack of progress on ability, for me was a deep hatred and unwillingness to work hard on rewrites. I thought in the first draft I had written the story, told the story, and I wanted to move on to something else. Then it all of a sudden became fun for me. Maybe it was me maturing as a writer and a person but now I love the 2nd Draft, I love research, and I love working with a good editor, which I have right now. This is writing, damn, Why didn’t I see this sooner?

Remember Not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,

Thursday, August 2, 2007

THE TITLE IS: St. Augustine

Need to get back on a regular posting schedule. Been very busy of late but this blog is important to me for many reasons so I wish to make sure I post more often. Now that being said here goes a bunch of windows that need to be closed out of things I bookmarked to read later. The later time I found to look them over being today.

Lab Grown
This is good news for many reasons but I want a way to re-grow teeth because mine are killing me and the fakes I do not have the money for at this moment. I will volunteer if any mad scientists out there want to shoot me full of gator DNA or something? Hell, I just want someone to tell me why it costs so much to pull them. I mean. I never get the pain medicine anyways but besides that all they do is brake, pull, and put cotton or some cloth shit in there? Someone explain please? And please before you say I’m paying for their experience and expertise, I will just say one thing MY TOOTH IS FUCKING KILLING ME!!!!

…moving on…

Podcast interviews
Peter David and Paul Cornell. Two fine writers to listen to as they speak.

For a laugh. Hell, for a few or more laughs.

Farscape on the net
I hope this turns out right because Farscape is one of my all time favorite shows and Sci-Fi could have keep it on the air and funded it instead of those fucking crappy ass TV movies they keep churning out all the time.

Top Five Pop-Culture Tie-In Comics
I would have went with-
#1 Doctor Who.
#2 G.I.Joe.
#3 Conan.
#4 Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
#5 Carl Bark’s Disney Ducks books.
But that’s just my list. Anyone else wish to add something?

The next four links all are a series of pieces on homosexuality in comics. I think they touch on some points that should be further discussed. Worth your time to read I think.
Part One,
Part Two,
Part Three, and
Part Four.

Hey, I did not have as many windows to close as I thought I did? Had a lot of research links bookmarked which needed to be moved over to the research folder in Explorer. Research for the 2nd Draft of Stereo by the way which I’m working on now. Really excited about this draft because with the notes my editor gave me on the 1st Draft and the notes I came up with myself and re-reading it after being away from it for a few weeks I have so many ideas and ways to approach different parts of the book. Added a whole new chapter today alone which wasn’t there in the 1st Draft in any sort of way and adds a lot more hidden depth to one of the strongest characters I created for the book.

Well, I guess that is all from me today. The bosses are coming down to set up a job that has to run perfect. Right. Ok. I will update tomorrow if I go off on anyone and no longer exist in the realm of the employed.

Remember Not knowing who you are is no excuse for not being who you are,