Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I’m going to start walking a little every day and I started this new “lease on life” two days ago when I got up I ate breakfast, took out the garbage, and headed out for a stroll. On the trip back from my hike I stopped by the complex office and picked up a package that came in for Wave. After talking with her on the phone I opened it and found a really cool book Pretty In Punk: 25 Punk, Rock, And Goth Knitting Projects. Maybe I can talk her into making me something. She is very talented. I could really see my unsorted features fashioned with a pair of Death Or Glory Wrist Warmers With Skull-And-Crossbones Design. Oh, and before anyone says, “Aren’t these for those of the female set?” I will say, “Foo on you for being so gender bias.”

I posted a couple of new LibraryThing reviews; which can be found at my librarything site, which can be found by the link to the side.

As my birthday passed yesterday one thing passed also through my head. Besides all the emo, near middle age(well past middle age for someone who has been ill most of his life), and I’m a loser hack writer thoughts that are a given on a birthday during this joyless holiday season, thoughts whispered through my brain about how cold I’ve grown to issues, political issues, social issues, down the street issues, in my life issues. Maybe it’s just “older, pisser” or maybe I’m not as happy living in the world that surrounds me for more reasons beyond the personal, in my person. Now how to hold this in a way that is positive? If that's possiable?


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Library Stuff

We bought a cheap wal-mart bookcase exclusively for the books and such we have out from the library. Poor Wave is bring home two recycle bags full from work just about every day with stuff for herself and me. Those grocery store bags are sturdy and well made for carrying around pounds of library materials. We both cherish public libraries and it bothers us both to read about libraries having to shut down and do layoffs because of the current state of the economy. Even more so considering how such things could affect our lives and that of others we know. Those people who need the libraries can’t live without them, those who don’t use them are lacking, those who don’t need them are callous and craven for not caring about other peoples want and need for them, and people such as ourselves are grateful for them.

Right now on our reserved for “library stuff” bookcase we have three things to go back, one DVD and two books. I have four books and two DVDs to consume. I need to hit the local library system website to place more things on hold. My shelf is a little bare compared to how much I usually have checked out, for the most part I usually have tons of BBC and other TV show DVD sets. Wave on the other hand is right as normal with 11 fiction books, 5 non-fiction books, 1 DVD, 5 CDs, and 4 audio books. Matter of fact this maybe a little light for her but her school semester is just ending so things should pick up again for her:)

Oh, for the record, sitting on my shelf are Naruto: Volumes Six and Seven, Prince Of Stories: The Many Worlds Of Neil Gaiman, I Know It’s Over, Get Smart, and Itty Bitty Titty Committee.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Internet Clean Up

After getting up late, sleeping pills make me tired the next day, I tossed out the garbage, and started my day into the internet. Today is my clean up my internet existance day. I will be updating sites, deleting sites I never use, checking email accounts, and such and the such.

First up! Library Thing. I deleted the books I had on there and decided to just add books as I read them and write reviews. You can check out my profile here and read my review of Cracked Up To Be by Courtney Summers.

Deleted my Facebook and Myspace accounts. Myspace took forever and reminded me as I was waving bye bye why I have grown to hate it so much. Now I have to just remember to delete links from my blogs. Can't get into my half.com account in any fashion. Wonder if they killed it? Made my Tumblr home page as Godawful looking as I could just because I'm in that sort of mood, also I mainly have it for the feed to my blogger.

I think that's all for today. I still have to update my Sitemeter, snagajob, lulu, cafepress, N.A.V.L.P. blog, Bloodwaste Books blog, System productions blog, but that can wait until tomorrow. I have apartment cleaning and writing to do also.


Saturday, December 6, 2008


If you can actually have a sale when you have only one thing to "sale" but anyways, I just cut the price of Stereo in half for the Holiday season so to speak, though knowing me I will probably forget and leave it that way for eternity.



So I got a call from Wave and her phone has died in a water bottle accident; so, if you are someone reading this who maybe trying to get ahold of her, you can't! it drowndeded. She will be trying to make provisions to replace soon.

Onto writng updates, I'm basically finished with the YA/Junior fiction book I was writing and now I'm in search of an editor. I'm looking at a possiable May release date and will be deciding if it should be a PDF release like my first book or a bound print run. All of this will be discussed with the editor and others as the months march on. Oh, and to an extra point if I do release as a print bound book I will also release as a PDF to cover both grounds and have the PDF at a cheaper price. All depends on how much cash I have at the date of publication. Right now I'm thinking PDF but if the Gods shine down maybe I will have the cash to self-publish as a printed as in paper book.

And with the above being said it is time to move on to the next project which I think will be the next book in The Tin Universe series that started with Stereo. Yes, that was pimping. Go buy now and support my funds for hiring a quility(=money money)artist for the cover of the next book in the series. The first books cover had a basic minialist feel I love but the next I will probably be going more in the direction of a old style movie poster for it.

I'll end linking to a entry on Neil Gaiman's journal where he writes about freedom of speech and I think it is worth everyone reading.
Why defend freedom of icky speech?


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Need soda NOW!!!


Because I stay up later most nights for reasons that have been lost in the phases of time, since childhood being a night person, and since this is so I stay up late now when Wave has to get up really early to go to work to make sure the cats do not bug her and keep her awake.She is not the type of person who can sleep well with a lot of noise or light or any such thing. Why a lot of time when I'm restless I go into the living room to help her sleep better. Our little pigs in cat clothing though would eat every other hour if we let them and they try their best to convince us to let them do so. Last night I stayed up in such a fashion and they keep sneaking into the bedroom to wake her up. See these aren't any dumb dogs here, these cats will be sitting beside me on the couch looking dead to the world but the moment I close my eyes for a second off they run. Plus to their sneakiness, these shit heads talk and talk trying to get one of us to feed them extra meals but when the other person gets up or comes home, even though they have been feed at their regular feeding time they act like they are starving. It's sort of like how kids go from one parent to the next. Fuckers! But we love them, they are our family.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008


As Recession is Declared, Dow Falls 680 Points
In economic news, the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 680 points on Monday after the National Bureau of Economic Research declared that the country has been in a recession for nearly a year.
More like depression and we just haven't noticed the falling we are descending into. I have a friend who just informed me that because she was just laid off from her job she is losing her home and has to move back in with an ex who was abusive because she wants to keep a roof over the heads of her children. And yes, she knows that is not the best thing for them, and yes she is trying to find other alternatives, yes she can get government assistance but that takes time and even when it comes it will not pay for a new place with 1st, last, and deposit, as well as her a babysitter so she can look for another job. "Recessions" are not just about one way, one story, one attack in one fashion on peoples lives. Thanks to you Mr. Bush, now go on talk shows and talk about how you were not ready for this or that, about how you made mistakes, about how everything didn't fall at your feet to try and get people to remember you better, to try and get a Presidential Library that has a few good stories in it. I sir, if existence wills me to live long enough will visit that library that all president get and I will drop off all of the stories I know of people you helped fuck, my own tears through this years, and I hope to God that's how others will choose to pay homage to the reign of this prince of a corrupt but at least knowledgeable father.


Friday, November 21, 2008


But I give you links and little rants.

cell phone records
They are considering firing people? If I'm not mistken didn't they fire the people right off when something semilar happen to Paris Hilton? Shouldn't this be alarming when the man has gotten death threats in the past and people are braking into his personal data?.......


or just one link since I've been searching online for something interesting and nothing is catching my degraded brain.

Award-winning Actor Announces His Departure
What I will miss the most is how much he seemed to care about trying to make a good show. Plus, he sexey.

'Ugly ducklings'
Sometimes I think I was lucky that I didn't get the male brain, I like my female brain. Though it's low grade in all respects at least my tongue stays in place and when it runs, I stand by what it says.

Pages Thief
Sounds like an idea for a book I think.

Boy Bras
I may need one soon :(

$25 billion loan
How can a companies ask for money when they sat around in their 8thousand dollar chairs for years yelling, "America good!" as a progresive sales plan and not inproving their product; while the rest of the world left them in the dust. It's a shame if people lose their jobs but the American car industry has had their heads up their own asses for decades.
And how come a fucking billion dollar company can get loans from the goverment when small company has to blow all of the old boys of congress to get a hi?

Bush signs bill
Does me no good considering they turned me down because I quit a company that was mistreating employees, acting in sexist and racist hiring actions, and Hey, they even canceled a check on me once because I wanted a weekend off. But I was wrong for quiting, I should have gotten fired, firing for some reason is better. I should have invested in a good case of chasing them down through a Wal-Mart parking lot and running them over with road rage, that's what I should have done.

See what coffee does to me.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Following my Tumblr is the best way to follow me these days. Look to the side to my dull existance. I hope to start posting daily again soon.

Sunday, November 9, 2008


Friday, November 7, 2008


Thursday, November 6, 2008


Elections and all, I’m in no mood.
Wins, loses, lives, the benevolent nature of America’s ability to hug prejudice with delight. When I was younger I use to wonder how people could have lived while others were being treated less than human, how people could have sat while others were being separated for only reasons of hate? I use to wonder how anyone ever thought THE LOVE BOAT was a good show?
Now I live in a country where LOST is considered made of fine crafted televised materials and a nation community can look at other people, a populace can pass laws against other human beings to tell them that they are less than human. Why in history have bombs gone off in city squares, why have rebellions began from the underbelly of poverty and injustice, why do ideas of freedom become rancid?
Why are After School Specials always about Jesus? Where is Satan’s After School Special?
All of the bullshit logic starts with thick people sitting around wondering how those of the past could let travesties of inhumanity happen, and then see it happening all around them and not scream at the prejudice, fight the criminality of it all, punch the nearest politician in the face, scratch out the eyes of the fraudulent press, or write rants, rambles, and books about the times we live in?
Remember when K.F.C. use to have Chicken Nuggets? I don’t know if they had any real chicken in them but those were so good. What? I’m not writing a world view here. Fuck deep thoughts, I can live with 42 as my answer to everything and walk away smiling for now.

Out in the desert,
Where the fish swim for their lives,
Out in the desert pretty boys are ugly,
And princesses dream of marrying their wives,
I locked out the washed up God thought,
No candy for landing on your ass all rough,
That monkey on our back ant so tough,
Out in the seas,
Where the birds spawn toads,
Out in the seas waves wash away our sins,
And we all draw nothing but elevens, sixes, and tens,

Things around me within reaching distance that make me smile. Garfield is behind me on the back of the couch, Salem by the sliding glass doors, the pencil Wave gave me with a rainbow on it for eraser usage because I always use the erasers on my Zebra lead holders up real quick. (I say lead holders instead of lead pencils because that is what my Drafting/Design teacher made us call them.)
The journal of notes for the 1st Draft of my YA/Junior fiction book. I’m up to 1000 words every other night on that book. The in-between nights if I’m not feeling like shit, I go to bed early to be beside Wave as we fall to sleep together. The popcorn logic of the Writing Gods says I write better in the witching hours and thus miss being beside the lady I love moments.
An empty bottle of Pepsi is sad but having someone who bought you a Pepsi and knows the things you like and doesn’t have to be asked to get them for you. Well, that’s a fucking (I am not ashamed of words) fucking great thing.
There is a copy of Vampire Kisses (which kicks Twilight’s ass) which signifies our mutual love of books.
And let us not forget two empty bottles of nighttime pain relievers, which shows not only the fact that neither of us sleeps much without help but also that our joy for the miracles of modern Pharmacia happies.

You wish to walk me to a suicide booth,
Tell me your truth or dare,
Push me around, make fun of my smile, stare,
Laugh, riot, pray, and while you at it,
Put the pill on the tip of your tongue to care,
Sing those rainbows and zombie Christ’s, that’s it,
Nothing like a vote that doesn’t count,
Nothing like a silent shout out,
Nothing to guard us from the wolves,
Nothing to wear but a ware out,
The ghost bites and we bite back,
Never learning,
Shacking our sack,
Here’s where we lack,
Coming on them too much is a little too late,
Sit down with the devil and I’ll tell you what’s at stake,
Nothing like a vote that delivers a blow,
Nothing like a sign that comes with the snow,
Nothing pale in singing I hate you,
Nothing golden but love it when yours has come due,
Donald Dare and the cell phone drink,
Smoke that thang to light up that retro look,
Go holy and see how much you have taken,
I’m lost and what’s your excuse,
It’s not an election to all, It’s all we have that we have to loose each and every time,
I will not put my mark on a cause gone astray,

When the Earth was born, yes it is going to be one of those stories that will start just this way. Long ago when the Earth was born, birthed from its core was a great spider. If the Great Spider stood in the middle of New York City it would look down in shame at any of the skyscrapers we have grown to worship. That’s why it is called the Great Spider. One big nasty piece of work and you should be able to visualize from that.
The Great Spider made the planet a graveyard of its pleasures. As the molten shape of the planet was hardening and finding its way The Great Spider destroyed all signs of life it could find. When those of the stars came to visit the new planet it consumed them. When pilgrims came to see what shape this mass was forming into the Great Spider made them groceries for a form that did not really need substance.
Then the time came as the planet was becoming green and blue, the Dinosaur Gods choose the Earth as the place they would call their new home, having abandoned their Heaven, the place they would give up their immortality to shed the burden of Godhood would be the Earth.
When the Dinosaur Gods arrived they found the Great Spider and a battle raged that was fierce and heard in clap throughout existence. In the end even the Dinosaur Gods were not able to destroy the Great Spider but they were able to destroy its solid body and banish its spirit body into the future.
See where this is going now? Yes, to the end of an incoherent blog entry but something else, within this story fixation also.
After the Great Spider was banished, the Dinosaur Gods gave up their immortality and settled down to live lives of love, age, and death. They never got much of a chance for the first two since they picked a really wrong time to give up their immortality because a big bulky rock hit them all on their horned heads.
Now if that ungodly long and grammatically incorrect paragraph was not enough we follow with the beginning of a story about a young women (those types of stories are in fashion) lover of Goth fashion and feminist music (those stereotypes are in fashion) who tempted fate and went and got herself bitten by a spider at a young age. That never turns out good for any character written by someone with an overactive imagination.
Her name? Wait, let us think of something good???? Do you have anything? No? Ok, where is the phone book?... …. …. How about Chase Zegers?... … No?... I don’t really think using the word “Sucks” does anything positive for our situation here. I like Chase Zegers and, so, I think I’m going to stick with it. Yes, maybe I am being childish just because I can’t face criticism but that is my way of facing reality, you have your porn and Meg Cabott(sp) books and I have my delusions.
Chase was bitten by the spider, which was a pet named Newton, owned by her best friend Kickoff, that’s a nickname, and was squished by her Hot Topic biker boots right after it had bitten her.
When she awoke two weeks later guess what? She was haunted by dreams (now that’s lazy writing) about the birth of life on Earth and thoughts of eradicating humanity made her horny (because exploitation of female sexuality feeds advertisers).
Well, let us hope I don’t get around to writing this story because I think the Earth is doomed. And here you thought it would be Dick Chaney who brought about the End Of The World!
He still has time though.
Watch the skies!

And that ends this day’s entry,
Miss me?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


So what has been going on in my world of late?
Well, locally someone set off some sort of jar or pipe bomb at the local community college a few days ago or was it weeks ago? Times flies when you are being emo.
Wave’s sister watched someone from her school get hit by a car. Cheerleader with drama at eleven.
Wave was threatened by someone after they almost hit her trying to avoid a speed bump and she told them they need to watch where they’re going; so, they threatened her. I went off at the complex office about how dangerous people drive within the complex grounds. I think sometimes Wave thinks this sort of things doesn’t anger me but it does, beyond measure, but I have to keep my cool or random stupid people will get targeted instead of specific stupid people. But if I could, I wouldn’t mind really running these people over, not with a car, just a golf cart, a few times.
My world has been writing, dishes, writing, depression, trash, writing, Xbox, depression, writing, Xbox, dvds, writing, cat boxes, library book sales, trash, cat boxes, hotel sex, writing, writing, and writing. Oh, and I finally got up the courage and watched the Dukes Of Hazzard movie. Poor movie, it sucked so much it was sad.
While Wave was in Tampa for a class I picked up a writing book from the U.S.F. library that I really enjoyed. It’s titled- Getting The Words Right: 39 Ways To Improve Your Writing by Theodore A. Rees Cheney. I’m really enjoying this book on writing when I usually hate books about writing. The best thing is the points that so many books bring up is hitting home with me. It’s a book about Revision which all writers cuddle like a child, me very much so, and the older I get, the older I get, and the more I see what a creative joy editing and revising can give a writer after you get through ALL THE FUCKING HARD WORK.
Oh, and for those who in the past enjoyed my ranting and raving about political issues and have emailed me asking why they never see those types of entries anymore? Well, for my own health in getting things done I’m staying away for the most part from ranting and raving in my writing, unless in the body of my incoherent hack books. Love you peeps for saying you enjoyed it when I discussed issues but since so much of the world is just simply disgusting in it bigotry, racism, sexism, and moneyism(could be a word some day?) I don’t want to distract my writing by feeding it spoiled foods.
Second “Oh” I know most of my writing is a little ranty and raving like but maybe for now I will just bore people with stories of my obsession with all things Doctor Who(I’m 20 dvds behind for my collection and god those new figures are cool) my endless tales of trying and trying and trying even those quite a few people say I should give up, face reality, and my over usage of the library system in putting things on hold which poor Wave lugs home when they come in from the other libraries.
Speaking of my lady love, I needed Neil Gaiman’s new book, a must need to add to my collection. Must satisfy my desires….wait no, not desires… how about wishes or requirements? Use a wrong word and everything goes haywire, a writing lesson learned. Well, to move on from my “ranting” Wave purchased it for me today. I love the lady.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Blogger\tumblr repeat posts i send by phone....See, not my fault,Go about your lives,the world still spins as i
Blogger\tumblr repeat posts i send by phone....See, not my fault,Go about your lives,the world still spins as i

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I have an old broken ipod,an deceased laptop, and a brick phone. I'm so cutting edge.
I have an old broken ipod,an deceased laptop, and a brick phone. I'm so cutting edge.

Sunday, September 21, 2008


Sunday, September 14, 2008

"it was a board level choice"
Fried Mac&Cheese is genius.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Xbox or dishes? Only the night knows who will when.

Friday, September 5, 2008


This write up is by Amy Goodman, the host of “Democracy Now!,” about what happen to her and her fellow journalists at the R.N.C. The protection of journalists is so high in need that I can not even describe what it truly is, how important it is. Over the past 10 to 15 years there have been more and more attacks against journalists in this country and others to the point were I wonder if some of the people reporting news wear earplugs 24/7. How can anyone in the news industry stand and watch their fellow journalists be treated like this, be killed in some cases. The American news networks are full of greedy cowards who would never step out from the shadows of their corporate bosses to be a true "journalist". I had a friend studying journalism and I told her half joking,"true journalism doesn't exist. It's either  independent reaching a small group, tabloid, or you should just go write for the local paper about Mrs. Dali's duck which is missing." She is not even that political but she saw what I was saying. To save journalism, to save freedom, we need to protect journalists. Without journalist there for us we will not be able to see, hear, or feel the heart beat of a nation going astray. Without journalists reporting the world around us it could crumble and we will not know until they do a report on End Of The World Fashion Do's And Don'ts.

I know, I'm a ranty raving liberal. Though my political views float more libertarian(sp) Hey, while you are there calling me names please list feminist, human, hillbilly, friend, son, lover, and seeking of all things Doctor Who :)

I just love some of the emails I get when this blog has such a small visitor number on a weekly basis.

Oh, and if you attack me by saying my writing sucks and my book was terrible, you should have at least bought it because I have only sold two copies and I know who both of those people are and I have only given away two and know who both of those people are online so, no, show a brain cell or two, ok. Thanks.

Here's another link to drive you made about what happen with the arrests at the R.N.C.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


I have not been online much at all of late and with us having no cable it seems like I'm missing a lot of things. I live in a country were we are on the edge of either great change or a move more towards a place echoed out in stories by writers such as Orwell. This is not crazy liberal or alarmist thinking. Follow the lines of actions and tell me things are not headed this way. Open your mind to thoughts that spin around you and not just those face front and you will see how much of an edge we are on. I live in a country of this? A country where a gathering is a riot and questions are grounds for jail? And further more I live in a country where choice of love or your own body is attacked literally with fists of hate mostly from those who claim to come in God's love. I think if anyone comes to me with open arms saying they are coming with God's love then history tells me to run, run fast, run fast and never look back because we humans, we mortals, we take in God's love or whatever belief system floats your boat and we commit genocides with God's love, we rape women in God's love, we attack other nations in God's love, we kill, pound, privatize, and own in God's love. If there is a God, don't you think it has turned it's eyes from us by now for all the things we have done in the name of "it's" love.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I hate astro turf, closed minds, and u.s. medical care.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

I do not get the appeal of GUITOR HERO?

Saturday, August 30, 2008


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Life of This Brian
14 sides.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

People wishing to play games should be carefully who they touch while playing.

Saturday, August 23, 2008


I was wishing to do an entry on everything going on but really do not know if I can get the words out that in a way that makes any sense at all, but I will try since a few people following my Twitter and Tumblr accounts have asked about my posts there.

We made it through the Hurricane ok. (capital H, always for me.) We were trapped in our apartment because the apartment complete parking lot and the streets around us were way, way under the water. We live on the second floor, had plenty of food and water, and had power so we knew we would be ok. We bought extra water supplies because the day the hurricane was due to hit our complex's water pipes burst and we didn't have water until that night. The next day while the rain was still coming down pretty bad we noticed Salem was having trouble doing the pee thing and he had did the deeds on some stuff the night before and the start of the day but because he kept trying to go in the box and nothing happen we got worried. We adventured out into the waters, they had gotten low enough for Wave's car to barly make it to the vet down the street, which itself was almost under water, and they put him on a special wet diet and we took him home. We thought he was fine because he sure let loose a pee storm, yea storm! on our couch but we were happy he was doing the pee thing, but after that he started all over again spotting around the apartment and not able to use the box. We took him back to the vet. This time they took X-Rays, gave him a shot, and gave us pills to give him. Poor guy two days in a row had someone stick something up his peewee. We brought him home and he seems ok now. He actually stood half in the box and peed in the floor and seems to be fine. This with the hurricane, Wave starting classes, money problems, and being faced with the fact that we can not take him to the vet that many more times for money issues has us at a loose end. Last night friends cooked us dinner to take our minds off things but when we got back home I couldn't sleep and stayed up all night with Salem. Wave went to work for the first time in like a week and I still don't know if I can sleep I'm still so worried about him.

The money issue really bothers me because I'm in pretty bad shape mayself, really sick most days, but it's my fault. I could have stayed at my old job, I could have took better care of my money, but Salem, this is my fault that we can not just say do everything you can think of to make him better. I'm not trying to play a pitty game when a fellow life I love is sick, I'm judging myself guilty. I really hate myself right now.

If I left anything out, God don't tell me, maybe I was able to put something totally out of mind.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Hurricane SOUTH PARK marathon.

Monday, August 18, 2008


I know it has been ages since I did a proper post but that is good news, this means I have been busy writing and doing other things besides looking up cheat codes for my new(used but loved still) Buffy games and researching the seams on 1950's nursing uniforms. The last one was actually relavent to a short story I wrote but I will not go into it because right now it's way past weird and doesn't make sense even to me?

If you still want to keep up with me the best places are my Twitter and Tumblr. Twitter is mostly writings while working online; while Tumblr is mobile postings as well as random photos. Both of these have feeds on my Blogger, follow the link if you are reading from Livejournal. Ignore me if it makes you happy.

Man, that was a lot of nothing, lets try to find some...?...something??? See, my mad writer boy skills there?

Watch this book trailer and if you like you can pre-order the book. This book is written by a very talented writer I have known for a while and I can not wait until I get my hands on a copy of the book. I'm also going to request it at every bookstore, used bookstore, library, and maybe a few icecream shops to spread the word when it hits the streets.

As for me I'm as strange as ever, though now we have a hurricane heading this way and the water pipes went boom in our apartment complex this morning. That's some soap opera timing that is. So the storms coming may just effect my strange levels, one way or the other. Which is good with me and those I love, one way or the other.


Friday, August 15, 2008

Blogging is taking a backseat to writing, life, and trying to find work.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


My writing process is now: idea, write, story, edit, send, done.

Oh, and there is freak out at rejection, non-sales, and that overwhelming sense that I'm destined to fail at the editing stage no matter how creative my story is because I do not have the thought processes(you can replace with stupid but why be cruel)to polish the words into a situation that a translator doesn't have to get involved in.

But my writing process is now: idea, write, story, edit, send, done.

Move on.

Having a healthy attitude about writing rejection is right there with having a healthy attitude about God giving you a life bro... wait, that is rejection also...

Done, move on.

I have not been updating much of late or even been online that often to be honest because I have been working on getting a better house work schedule going and also writing every chance I get. Everyone else can find the bad things going on in the world and write about them on their blogs(I'll comment), and everyone else can make the cool icons and show them off on livejournal(been jealous of those for years), and everyone else can become successful and I will be happy for them.(I mean it.) With the level of sickness I have been feeling over the last year or so I'm happily just trying to find a level of happiness within me that doesn't keep me up all night and doesn't keep me from enjoying life. Yes, the world maybe crumbling around us, yes, God maybe a real big dick in his sick humor of putting a dream inside an empty vessel(my brain) but I am just me being the writer, the lover, the friend, and the day to day person trying.

I sound very high school when I get emotional on blogs. Maybe I should wri...well, finish a YA book?

Emo over.

Less modern radio moods aside, I submitted a short story last week to one company and another last night. As I have said over and over, just need to keep it going. Finished my notes off the 1st Draft of my next book and so the 2nd Draft will begin its life soon. The 1st Draft turned out good but lets hope the 2nd Draft does not have as many holes in it as #1 did.


Sunday, August 3, 2008

Stephenie Meyer kills trees!

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Me, Brian C. Williams, wanting more is not a sin. No family member or so called God can tell me otherwise. And me taking a step that says more is not, more money, is not off the wall, it's right there on the wall beside the neon Budweiser sign.

Calling myself a writer is not a crime. I'm not flying around on a book tour or pushing out sales into even the double digits but this is who I am. What else is a toothless, aging, sickly, man quialified to do?

And this just sucks sometimes, at times I wish this drive would leave my blood but I know without it within me I would not love the world to the point of fighting on, love the love of my life with the passion of my last bit of air- without this being within me, this voice that screams, "Tell these stories to the world and fuck the critics!" Though a good editor is always a nice thing to find.
I would not be me if I did not have this, did not write, anything you like about me, this is me, I would be someone else without it in my life, and I'm not a people person and so, I do not think I could stand living inside someone else's skin.

This was a video play list brought to you by my attention span. It's me, it's emo, it's goth, it's bad spelling, it's country, it's loud, it wears a tshirt that says,"THIS IS WHAT A FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE" and no cross hangs in my eyes. This is personal, it's not going anywhere anytime soon and I will find the best way to piss off the largest amount of people.
Just give me time.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


I will try and make this a quick entry but it will not be, but, so, that is how my brain spins as it starts the thinking process. I cleaned out out the links in my bookmarked to read later and now I need to clean out my brain because the world is a dirty dirty toaster of unhumanity. Yes, I typed "unhumanity", get over it, it's my word.

I'm knee deep in several writing projects and deciding which one I should drown myself in to get it out into the world. Will it be the detective story? Will it be the YA book I'm waiting to hear back from a writing partner about? Will it be the next book in the Tin Universe PDF Series? Or will it be something I just make up on the fly and go from page one to The End, from one thought to the last without thinking? Who knows, but I do need to make that choice fast because floating around from one book to another makes me sort of feel like a....I don't know, unwashed politician out for cash?

I counted up and last year I wrote 39863words that ended up as completed works. Not a very good number and though some of these stories were written last year, they did not appear until this year for others to read. The year started off good with Stereo my first completed book, which can be downloaded for the low low price of $4.00. I know some people do not consider that published but if a webcomic can be considered published, then why can't a webbook? So I didn't kill a tree family for it live, sue me.
Then off to a submission to a short story collection that was rejected. At the same time I left my old job and thus emo moments followed. I really need to get back into the submission grove again. My problem is everything I start work on I think could be a book and I have to get over that insanity.
After the short story came Deeper Roses To Fall which was a old small story I pulled out, re-looked-at and you can down load it for free. It's sort of a romance story.
Next we have Mexican Coffee which is another brief story, this one set in the universe where basically all of my self-published stories will exist. This was a experiment gone crazy into some writers madness of writers canon wank. Believe me that is the only way to describe it.
And we will leave last year behind with my failed ongoing chapter series According To Testing which was a free pdf series with a chapter added to it each week. I may return to this some day but not now.

I mention all of this not to pimp my writing though if you want to pay money for anything related to me go here. N.A.V.L.P. is still in its beta stages online but it all goes to a good cause with the attacks happening on our library systems during these bad financial times we need more projects to help out. Just remember library services are for the most part free and without them a lot of people will never find the joy of reading, internet usage, movies, or community. No matter what in my life, I will be happy if this project turns out to be something special to the world around me daily.

Now off to turn the air on, do dishes, and do some writing.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Making writing happen for me. Insanity still standing but smiling.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


The second Friday of the month around here they have a event called Friday Fest which is mostly they corner off the down town area so people can drink and sale stuff. Well, for a while Brevard NOW and others have been part of a group called Condom Commandos and we go out with our pink Condom Commandos shirts and hang out condoms free to anyone who wants them. And Hell, we have dipped in ourselves because those fuckers ain't cheap. Now Condom Commandos is being worked by the Space Coast Pagans and last Friday Fest people came up to them and told them they had to leave because they were getting complaints. We have people checking in to see if this was even legal. Another B.S. line in how people are destroying the word by their ability to be delusional. Put this right along side people going against birth control. Which Mr. Mccain is right there at the lead.

I'm getting on a roll of keeping up and moving forward with getting and keeping the apartment clean. See those are the types of sentances that I have written that have made editors run from the room and yell into the night air. That actually happen once.

The kitchen looks nice as I have all the dishes caught up, surfaces cleaned, mopped the floor, appliances clean, hung up a spice racks, and cleaned out the refrig. Yesterday I also hung up a clothing line in the shower so we could dry clothes there and save money. Now I'm diving into the living room starting today. I already started rearranging artwork so it flows between pieces of mine and pieces of Wave's. I like that better so there is not a wall of "my" stuff and a wall of "her" stuff. It's our home and it shows that more now I think.

Getting things done, writing, and trying keep sane.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

still alive, busy writering and getting on a good schedule of keeping up with the house work.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

writing, writing, writing

Saturday, July 12, 2008


We did not get to the hotel last night until around 9, leaving after Wave got off work, but the hotel did not mind the late check in. After we checked in we headed out to get some microwave dinners at the local Publix to eat at the hotel and came back, played a game of SCRABBLE, watched a little cable(we don't have cable), and then went off to sleep. This morning we were up at 8 to get ready to check out and head to USF where right now Wave is giving a presentation and I'm in the library returning a book I picked up the last time we were here for book research.

On the really personal side of things my tooth is getting really bad and I need to find work quick before it drives me crazy because the pain is at that point right now were its getting to be too much. The only way I sleep is with large doses of pain killers and those are not healthy to keep taking for many reasons, one because I have ulcers and I have been told anything for pain is unfriendly to an ulcer and two because that just isn't good.

So if anyone sees me in person and I'm walking around looking pissed, with one side of my face swollen, and grabbing my gut from time to time, please don't approach, this animal is wounded and may bite.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I need artists to do character sketches, covers, and interior artwork for some projects I have in the works. The problem is at the moment I do not have the money to hire anyone and before anyone asks no, I don't want anything done for free. I don't work that way, I appreciate when people offer but I know the work that goes into a peice of art and I would feel awful not paying for it. This though is one of the few times when I say I wish I was a writer of "name" value and thus I could trade a comic script to an artist, a film script, a short story, or a book in exchange for artwork finished. Artists can do deals for things that writers can not do unless they are a writer of "name" value and I hate doing the "quotes" thing but that's how it was translated in my head. I have a friend who is a tattoo artist who does this all the time. Another friend who paints and she is always trading art for things. Anyone want an original poem or short story written for a loved one's birthday or holiday gift? I'm ranting because I haven't had a soda yet today but I mean what I ranted about. It was a process, thinking rant, now I'm off to do dishes.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Busy, mostly posting to Twitter and Tumblr right now.
Worn out from day trip to Tampa.

Saturday, July 5, 2008


I always find it painful, yes painful, when I meet someone and they say things such as, "I never read." or they see how many books I have and stare in wonder as if my collection was them looking at the size of the universe and say,"Have you read all of these?" The other day I was in the office of our apartment complex and I told the lady they need to fix their after hours drop box because the way it is working now puts it in the risk of someone stealing mail or rent checks dropped off if the person putting it in did not pay full attention to how it went through. I told her about how I know people who steal books and such from library drop boxes in this same fashion and she said in response to me something that bothered me greatly. It was out of the blue in a way and not totally on topic but it became full topic within my mind. It was not a statement of stupidity because I can deal with stupidity, I do every time I start writing, this was a statement of apathy to something very powerful that we have and something that has benefited my life as much a food has. She said,"I don't voluntarily read any book unless I have to."

Me, as I Am usually known to do, I am reading several things at once at the moment. The book that has my attention the most right now is Little Brother. This book is a modern answer to 1984 as some others have pointed to. It is one of the best books I have read this year and if you don't take my word for it writers such as Neil Gaiman, Scott Westerfeld, Steven Gold, Brian K. Vaughan, and many others are singing its praise. A very important book to maybe wake some people, especially young people up to the world growing around them, and also a very entertaining read.

The other books I'm currently reading and rereading are Doctor Who: The Nightmare Of Black Island, The Sandman: Dream Country, and Showcase Presents: Batman And The Outsiders-Vol.1.

As always even though I put in links to where you can buy these books online, remember to support local stores. Local used book stores and chain stores. Though those chain stores are not independent such as most used book stores they are employing your neighbors, friends, and loved ones.


Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Wave and myself went to FRIDAYS to eat and had a good lunch, she was reading one of her textbooks and I was reading LITTLE BROTHER, people always give us weird looks because we read while waiting for our food when we go out to eat. We also read before the previews at the movies. We are just happily weird that way.
Anyways, after eating we made a trip to one of the local libraries; which sits in a not so nice neighborhood. We spotted a cop beside a car with a old lady at the drivers wheel. We thought at first he was giving her a ticket. The cop left and we noticed her tire was flat. He didn't even help her get her car into a parking lot, she had to drive it there to get out of the street. We got so pissed. The cop saw she had a flat but he just left her there. One, this neighborhood like I said, not that nice and two, what is he too good to change her tire for her. Oh, he must be off to join the Melbourne police tradition of making sure there are tons of cops for every car pulled over for a speeding fine. You get pulled over around here and they swam from all directions on you. Too bad they are busy doing this because someone is probably off being stabbed, beaten, or raped. You just have to join your buddies to probably do a circle jerk after the ticketed car leaves.
The old lady told us he called a tow truck. She had a spare. Wave talked to her and we went into the library to get the security guard to come outside so he could make sure she was ok. Neither one of us would have been much good in changing her tire but a fucking cop? What, they only good for speeding tickets and harassing the homeless? He could have at least stayed until the tow truck got there? Must be out chasing down them there terrorists.

I need to pore myself into some writing before I explode.



I haven't posted in a while because of a case of my uclers once again acting up and raising some noise. I thought it was food poisoning but it's just an old friend paying a visit. I'm also having hot flashes and memory lose, don't comment on that though, I don't need any of you going there. I have a lot of online and offline work to catch up on as well as way way way overdue apartment cleaning that needs to get done. I want Wave to come home from work one day to say, "Shit, who helped you clean?"

Someone asked by email and since I'm overjoyed someone actually reads this I will present here my Top Graphic Novel Want List. Anyone want to comment and leave theirs?
*I'm behind in these trades.
*See what I mean?
*my love The Doctor.
*Really looking forward to this trade.
*I read this at B&N and I have all of the other volumes but have not purchased this one yet.
*Bad hype from fans is still bad hype. I will decide for myself.
*I have a complete run of all of the original Valiant titles and I want these new hardbacks for my collection.
*Hulk smash, Hulk kick Iron Man's ass. Plus, the art looked cool from what I've seen.
So there you go Sean and thank you for sharing your list with me.

I also received a few emails asking why I don't write more about social issues here like I once did and the answer comes down to I use to get so worked up talking and thinking and linking and writing about so much stuff that I never got any writing or other productive work done online. I'm am a writer and I do actually have to write to get better at it. It's not that I no longer care nor that I think my writing is more important than some of the struggles we are facing in the world we live in, more actually that I'm not the best person to be commenting on some of these issues that anger me with my hack talents and besides a rant here and there I try to use these entries as more of a positive release.


Monday, June 30, 2008

God needs an enema

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sick watching WILD WILD WEST. Will Smith didnt destroy my love.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Women are targets. I will say this and some may disagree but I think the degree of anger is so ruthless and pointless and senseless against women in todays world that just about every crime committed towards a women in my eyes could be considered a hate crime. Then again, veolance aganist women is not a hate crime by judical standards. A person can stalk her because she is a woman, attack her because she is a woman, hate her because she is a woman, and kill her because she is a woman but that is not a hate crime. Hell, lets wake up and stop calling ourself a modern soceity and world when there are still places where women can be killed and raped by their husbands and it will be seen as just a simple marriage issue. No, sorry, it's not Maratial Rape, IT'S FUCKIGN RAPE!!

Women are tossed acid like bile on the roads, as an example today Wave was almost hit by someone entering our complex and had, "You fucking bitch, I'll kill you," shouted at her. She's pissed, I'm boiling.

Women are used as political play issues by the propaganda machines of conseratives and liberals alike. Womens rights issues are not human rights issues, they are tug tools to a bunch of people with their own agendas held up higher than everyone elses lives.

Women are products and not buyers in the eyes of companies. And this is just such a dumbass thing for a businese to do but thing again. You have companies still out there with policies of not hiring anyone of color. I know, I've worked for some recently.

Female soilders for God's fucking sake are abandaned by their goverment and all of you flag flying bumper sticker asswipes if they don't, "Toe the line."

I am so angry at the world right now. I just wish... I just wish I was more intelligant so I could express it outside of a rant like this.



Well, the charity project I've been working on for months is ready to start rolling. It's called THE NERVE ATOM VISUAL LITERTURE PROJECT, yes, I know, Long title there much?
The basic goal is to raise money to put more graphic novels in libraries and educate people about graphic novels and the library link. The beta version of the website can be found here and you can order the first merchandise from commissioned artwork here. The artwork is by a great artist by the name of Lea Hernandez.
I really have big plans for this project and it means a whole lot to me. Order some cool stuff with great artwork on it and also put more books in libraries. What else could you want? Ok, there are no monkeys but maybe next time.
If you have any suggestions or comments about the project or see errors in either site please let me know at this address: n.a.visuallitertureproject@gmail.com

Have a great day,

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Computers can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

Saturday, June 21, 2008


I found out today that someone I use to work with died in a car crash, a supervisor. I'm not numb from this, I'm not feeling sorrow for her family, and I'm not really mad when thinking about her. See I worked with this person for about four years or so. For some reason she had a hate on for me from day one working with the company but my work ethic showed time and again she was wrong about me. I moved my way up in the company to get a pretty high up job, making good money but then she really put her claws in. After I was choosen to be let go by the company I found out in emails someone sent me that she was reporting daily to my boss about mistakes I had made and others that I did not make. She would push my requests to the backburner to do other tasks even though I was ahead of her in the company but new to my position. See the thing about most industries is the big bosses don't have to believe you are causing negative things to happen, if they keep hearing your name posted with negative comments they will be begin to assosite you as being a nagative on the structure of the company. That is one of the ways in which rumors and back stabbing talk can hurt other peoples lives.

When I was let go from this company I got a job working with another company that dealt with them directly through an inhouse store. Again this person did everything she could do to make me look bad to the point that she was one of the reasons I was so frustrated and left. You can throw her in at reason number 5 just ahead of the facts of.....well, that's for another time.

Simply I write this more because I have not written a blog entry for a while. I needed to fill some space. I do not write this to remember her. I do not write this to get out any feelings for another human being. She stopped being that in my eyes as I learned that she not only went after me in this manner but she had a rep for not liking certain people and getting them out the company and smiling about how they could lose their houses or cars now.

My only response to her death is if you go out of your way to hurt others, to destroy other peoples lives, then any pain and surfing you get should have been seen coming from miles away by you and your loved ones. She is dead. Am I a heartless human being? I don't care. Death was too quick and sudden, call me what you like


Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Just a note that I started putting my library into LibraryThing. I just started it and have nothing figured out over there but I have one shelf in so far. My biggist problem with it at this stage is that I could not put any of my Philosphy school books in there and sometimes I could not find the edition I actually have of a given book. But I did add a little random cover widget things from it to this blogger.


Monday, June 16, 2008

The fire after effects has my asthma in overdrive.

Sunday, June 15, 2008


I walked around for years in a hell,
This Hell caused by not standing up for the things i had to say,
Those days have gone by,
Now I not only have so many things to say,
No matter what is in my face I will say them anyway,
So jail is a price I'm willing to pay,
Dying with my liver on Redbull is how I pray,
Pencil and laptop dressed up as my swords are painted for today,
I'm alienated enough from reality to be strong,
I'm dancing enough with inner happiness to go on,

(c)brian c. williams


Yesterday was an intersting and fun day. Wave and myself slept in after a night were I pulled a shard of the shattered tooth problem I have out from my gums while downing a few pain pills and two shots of something that came out of the freezer, but this is not the fun or interesting part I was speaking over. After sleeping in we headed out to pick up the Queen for a day at the beach and over all Triv fun.

I will let the day speak in pictures with smart ass comments from me and a few times from captions I ripped from the Queen's myspace. Most of these pictures were taken by the said, Queen.

This was taken before I lost my sunglasses in the ocean. Wave and myself had a great time playing in the water. Wave spotted a jellyfish also.

Wave within the...well, Waves?

"Bow chicka wow wow!" Blame the Queen, she took this picture of me.

We came back to find a fire raging on the other side of our apartment complex in a housing area. We were thinking about packing the cats and a few things in the car to get ready to go if need be.

"I got hit by an "amber" The Queen's arm was hit by ash which had me more worried than the fire itself reaching us after I had a look at where it actually was. It would have to destroy through a lot of other buildings to get to ours.

The cats were on alert status.

While the fires burned we played scrabble. Not up there with Neo but I won and that is something amazing in and of itself with my spelling skills. The fires must have distracted my more word weaponory opponents.

That was my yesterday. A good day with friends.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Trying to get Twitter to work from my craptastic pink phone.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


I haven't been online much of late. Been busy writing, working on projects, trying to get my head right to keep moving forward on everything including keeping up on the cleaning and such around the apartment. By this weekend I want to have this apartment looking really good or as good as I can get it with me still being a pat rack king. And speaking of this weekend me, Wave, and the Queen are going to hit the beach for a bit weather promiting, and in the day time too! I will be sporting a two piece so no one gets a look at my man boobs.

On to things that I accomplished today, none of which are small with my health problems, I did the cat boxes, feed the plants, feed the boys, took out the garbage, went and spoke to the office about our air conditoner leaking, got a new air filter, and worked on creative projects. Though for the last half hour I was lost in surfying through past entries on Jezebel, What? Don't judge me.

If you reading this on live journal remember you can read little bits of my sanity and insanity sent mostly from Wave's phone on my blogger and tumblr accounts. Too lazy right now to research if you can post to livejournal from a phone but that is a question? Anyone?? I guess I need to research Twitter also because when I post by phone blogger and tumblr still double post most of the time.


Sunday, June 8, 2008

Posting mainly to blogger right now fromphoneas I try to get a lot of work done, limiting my online time to accom

Friday, June 6, 2008

Watching Earl with Wave and the cats with a migraine hunting and killing through my brain.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008



Posting in a hurry, sorry for any spelling errors, need to get offline and back to some work that needs to get done.

It is Previews window shopping time once again. Stopped by my local store Famous Faces And Funnies and picked up the latest Previews catalog and a couple single issue comics such as Final Crisis #1 and Secret Invasion #3. Enjoyed both by the way. I think both companies are telling good stories but the money issues a lot of people are facing now is really going to hit this industry hard soon. It may get really bad for the printed comic really quick.

Before we get started I was asked in a email when I did the first one of these why I don't put the covers of the things I want within the blog entry as I write about each item that has my interest? Why? Dude, and this is "dude" being said from a 33 year old but you brought a dude out of me. That would just take way too long and the purpose of me doing this is to exercise the demons of not having the money to keep up with things I love like a lot of great comics being published currently. Go grab your own copy of the catalog.

There, you have a cover!

I picked Final Crisis #1 off the rack yesterday so I may also give FINIAL CRISIS: REVELATIONS #1 and FINAL CRISIS: LEGION OF THREE WORLDS #1 a chance if I have the cash. I know I will be buying the latter in trade because I love George Perez's artwork like few others and my first introduction to DC Comics was the original Crisis series.

Also connected to Final Crisis is DC UNIVERSE: LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT #1 and it will be interesting if pulled off correctly. Like the Marvel Frontline books I think it is either out of the ball park or go down swinging when you try these types of stories in a mainstream superhero universe. But I say at least they are swinging.

ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #12, When finished I would like to get this whole series in trades and add it to my collection; which has very few Superman trades in it, mostly Byrne stuff.

The cover to GREEN LANTERN CORPS #27 would make a great poster I think. Green Lantern is one of my favorite DC concepts with Guy Gardner being my favorite Lantern. I just loved when I was a teenager and found a character who was a hero but also a total asswhipe and dick. I want all of the current Green Lantern trades coming out. I love what they are doing with these books. I have been keeping up through the local library system. I ever enjoyed when they brought Hal back and I hate Hal Jordan.

I have not decided if I want to buy the Countdown trades but I really loved 52 so the connection is a temptation to me.

THE PHANTOM STRANGER: THE HEART OF A STRANGER, I want this trade, I love the Phantom Stranger and think someone needs to buckle under their muses and take a ongoing run at this character because I have always said it would be gold in the right hands.

JANES IN LOVE, I liked The Plain Janes so I hope one of the local libraries gets this book also so I can give it a read.

Terry Moore's ECHO VOLUME 1: SILVER RAIN, I have issue #1 signed by the way ready for framing, when I get a frame, and I want this trade and it is only $15.95. A word to comic companies. You keep those trades below $20 and you will sell a shit load more to people of low fundage like myself. I see a trade and it $20 or more and not a hardback and I'm gone off it. I almost bought a Witchblade trade because of its low price in comparsion to everything by Marvel and DC. And what the shisS with so many trades coming out from companies at so many different prices? I know some may have more pages and such but I do believe if the companies would set prices at lets say $15 for non-hardbacks and $25 for hardbacks then fans could go in as a customer or save and know how much a trade they are looking forward to will be. I got really pissed when I wanted to pick up the first trade of Annihilation, saved my pennies, to find the non-hardback out of my price range. I picked up something else instead matter sure it was something non Marvel because I'm childish that way. These are the future of comics and they really need to get things straight.

I can even rant during window shopping....

DOCTOR WHO: AGENT PROVACATEUR, DOCTOR WHO: THE FORGOTTEN #1, Anyone wish to buy some blood from my viens so I can buy these? and DOCTOR WHO CLASSICS #9 and DOCTOR WHO MAGAZINE SPECIAL #20 and last but not least DOCTOR WHO: THE WRITER'S TALE....yes, i have a problem....did I say I want all the figures also?...ok, just asking....

SPIDERMAN LOVES MARY JANES #1, I have enjoyed this series and now one of my favorite writers is on it. Same for RUNAWAYS, yea for good writing. Both of these series have always been written very well and it looks like that will be coutinueing.


Now I'm off to drink my last Redbull. Wave calls it crack in a can. Ok, and Yea! Just got through watching Rent after reading about it on someone's blog, it was cool. Now I'm off to watch Campion from the library. My Doctor Who links of fanboy addiction moves on.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Reading a Doctor Who book while at Chilli's having drinks with Wave is a good time spend.


Wave got a postcard thingee at a event she attend last week. I'm going to talk about it here because even I did not know how stupid some of the wording was in some abstinence only programs.

The back of the card reads as follows and you can find all the stuff about this here.

To protect teens from unintended pregnancy and STDs, the federal government pours millions of taxpaper dollars into abstinence-only-until-marriage programs. Which of the following points do these programs teach?
A "One of the best ways to avoid AIDS is to avoid homosexual behavior."
B "Abstinence without faith = failure (It's God's idea!)
C "AIDS can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact."
D "The liberation movement has produced some aggressive girls today, and one of the tough challenges for guys who say no will be the questioning of their manliness."

So our government clearly teaches homophobia, bad health, and wants to warm the hearts of boys who feel their manliness maybe threatened by a woman who thinks for herself. If you have a kid and you support this line of thinking. You are a moron. You are not only a moron but you are also...well, I just want to say YOU ARE A MORON!


Friday, May 30, 2008

We should all be born from test tubes. It would make life a hella'lot easier. FAMILY


I'm sorry for the delay in releasing REFRESHING BORING DEADLY but personal issues have keep me off the computer and mostly in a daze of feeling like shit and thinking like shit internally, if that makes any sense to anyone but me? The little story thing in the last post is the type of fiction I write when working through feelings in my brain. For the most part those end up in the trash or just in paper journals but I thought I would share a little of my madness, you can thank me later.

I guess every since I left my last job, through struggles and failures in trying to help friends, being betrayed by friends, being salad sided with the constant pain of my teeth, being hospitalized, being shown that no matter how bad my health is- money changes everything, feeling like crap in the job search...I guess with all of those things and others like having to sale my truck, I'm digging myself out of a grave of deep depression that is one hand full of dirt at a time. Wave has been a saint for putting up with me.

From now on I think I will concentrate on the projects I have to work on, the big ones, and not bring in too many little things like REFRESHING BORING DEADLY. I will finish R.B.D. and other small projects; which will be sometimes free and sometimes for a small charge but I think I will do them simply as side projects, at my own pace, and only announce when finished. I also need to keep up on outside my writing life things that keep me sane like going to the gym, keeping up with our new little garden area, cleaning the apartment and keeping it clean, cooking, and enjoying having someone in my life who I love more than anything else in the world....Yes Wave, more than my Doctor Who stuff :)

Currently I'm working on a YA book, I have a idea for another YA book which I want to write with a friend, I have the next book in the Tin Universe series in progress, and a charity project. Not to say I will not be doing anything outside of these things if lets say a paying project or an interesting non-paying project comes along, I'm there, but I need focus. My body and mind right now does not have focus and I need to take charge of the whole mess and make something of it no matter how I feel.


Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Remembering a poem she once wrote.

There are ghosts in the sunshine beading down upon her face,
Whispering spirits brushing against her lips trying to get her to sing,
Her eyes are open to her own death,
Laying in the grass tasting her own breath,
Nothing tastes as fine as saying just what you mean,

The building houses The Teriyaki Club publishing company. The first floor is the P.R. offices, up one and you find the management cubes, up two and there is the art department slaving away, the fourth floor is overloaded with lawyers, and on the top floor are the in-house writers...ok, they have two in house writers and the rest of the space on the fifth floor is crowded with storage boxes but really, what need does a publisher have with writers?
The roof of the building is flat with pebbles all over its surface of tar and metal, two inches thick with pebbles like the bottom of a goldfish's world.
Her boots make the pebbles almost crackle against each other as she walks from end to end, corner to corner, trying to cover the pebbles with the last drops of gas from her truck.
Standing on the edge of the roof she sets off two Zippos. As she steps forward she tosses both of them over her shoulders and as she drifts down onto the fifth floor fire escape the gasoline screams out into the night.
During the trip down the fire escapes which safe haven each floor she knows she now is the storyteller she always wanted to be.
And to the images of the frightened fleeing the building walked out of an alleyway the image of his dream dying. She walked across the street and leaned against the outside of an Army recruitment center.
A character description from the top down as she watches the fire explode in anger as it hits each floor is ear length pink and white hair, skin as white as light, dollar store sunglasses, a black short sleeved shirt covered by a dark brown vest, tattoos of prayers that do down each arm, long nails painted dark blue, black jeans, and black used combat boots.
Here comes the storyteller, the firestarter, the reaper of words. For those with dreams she is the unwanted faith. For those of despair she will turn her head because no martyr will she be to your causes. In time you will call hatred in her face, call hack with shards of glass, and get confused by her rejection of the station. No poet or folksinger, no rock star opera singer, no breast feeding mouth horse will be safe from an interrupted badge. Through extreme teens and devil pockets the fires and stories will burn on.
She leans herself off of the death dealer's wall and turns and walks down the street remembering a poem she wrote.

She rises from the grassy moisture,
She stands on her feet,
She looks into the sky and sees the smokes blackness taking over,
She slowly weeps,
Turning down her eyes she see a pawn walking in opposite of being told,
She is inspired now to be bold,

(C)brian c. williams

Friday, May 23, 2008


REFRESHING BORING DEADLY will be delayed until Friday night due to my health and generally feeling like shit mentally and physically. Apologizes to all were planning on downloading it.

Projects, dreams,trucks,family, thoughts of dying, bills, and thoughts of fading out of existence. There you have a look into the state of mind of this writer.
This may double post but just wanted to say SO SICK !

Thursday, May 22, 2008


I will be putting my truck up for sale, actually someone has already told me they will buy it in the middle of next month. The truck has mostly just sat in the parking lot since I left my last job because Wave's car is better on gas, drive, and everything else. I really don't wont to do this but for many reasons it is the best course of action for me to take right now. I walked in Florida for a few years before I purchased my truck and it looks like I'll be doing so again. One it needs work done to it that I can't afford to have done, two it burns gas, three when I finally find a job it would have to be within walking distance anyways because of gas prices so I might as well get rid of it, and three I need the money. I need the money to buy my love a birthday gift, I need money to pay bills, and I need money so I will not feel like a total worthless piece of shit sitting around being shit and playing writer boy.

Speaking of writer boy. The PDF for the dollar download collection REFRESHING BORING DEADLY will be linked up from here tonight as I'm currently working on last minute, "THIS IS TOTAL SHIT! THIS IS TOTAL SHIT!" edits.


Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I was sitting in the living room floor last night watching Doctor Who and Garfield as usual was asleep beside me when Salem walked up to him and started licking his head to wake him up. After Garfield woke Salem continued licking his head and then Garfield leaned back and started licking Salem's neck and Salem returned the favor on Garfield's neck. Then Garfield put his head down and snuggled up to Salem's belly as Salem licked his stomach.

I love our gay boys.

Kidding aside, Garfield and Salem really do love each other and they are always laying right beside each other or playing or putting some loves on us. Our little family.

Wave just gave me a kiss and read this over my shoulder and said, "Don't tell everyone about my gay cats, you have no right to out someone else."


Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Mexican Coffee is ready for anyone to download if you wish to read this free little brief story about the chaos of what happens when an Angel is stripped and denied the right to dream and what happens when a writer write just how he thinks.

The next thing I have coming out will be REFRESHING BORING DEADLY; which will be a PDF writing collection which you can download for $1.00. This will be avaliable on Thursday night.


Monday, May 19, 2008


I mentioned that on the way back from Tampa on Monday Wave had to rush me to the emergency room when we got back into Melbourne. On the way back we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and I seriously, though I did not say this to keep from worrying Wave, thought I was going to die in the middle of traffic, in a car, and my most overwhelming thoughts were about how terrifying this would be for her to experience. I actually prayed that if I was going to die let me at least make it to the hospital. We got back to Melbourne around 12am. I was having really bad chest pains from when we left Tampa until we got into Melbourne. Over the past few weeks I have been having on and off again left arm and chest pains but these pains that happen on the way home in the car, these were continued and extreme.

We got to the E.R. and rushed in and was passed from one person to the other talking about how bad I was feeling and how much insurance I did not have. Wait, check and arm pains, doesn’t this usually signal emergency! We sat for about twenty minutes watching the news on the local fires and I tried to act like I was ok, I wasn’t, I was feeling terrible. When I was finally taken in they asked me to undress myself, took my blood, hooked me up to some monitoring machines, and grilled my scared ass about the scales of pain I was feeling (well, I would say a scale of being IN PAIN!) and they got angry whenever I wasn’t precise or didn’t answer quickly or gave one person a different level of pain than another. Sorry, I apologize, but I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK!

This entry will be long and it may get ranty just to let you know. I would have written this the night I got out of the hospital but if I had it would have mostly contained a lot of FUCK YOU! And EAT MY HAIRY ASS comments and we just don’t need that do we.

After seeing nurse after nurse and doctor after doctor asking me the same questions over and over again (do these people talk to each other?) and all this time my blood pressure was sky high, this taking place for about two hours before they told me they would be keeping me for observation and admitting me. But every time I thought insurance will not matter and that they are taking this as serious as with anyone and considering my family history I do not know how they could not, they would show me by me over hearing or by actions that even though there were others there in the same state, for the same reason I was, I was different, I did not have a little card in my wallet that said I mattered, that I existed. Though I do have a Friends Of Doctor Who membership card from the 80’s in my wallet. Dam, I should have shown that.

Wave did not want to but I finally convinced her to go home and try and get some rest since they were admitting me. She left, I worried about her getting home having had no sleep, drove all the way home from Tampa, and with all the fires raging around the county. After Wave left they told me they would be getting me a room as soon as one was available and then I would be doing a day of stress tests to see how I would react to my body being stressed, they didn’t mention how my mind was being stressed being incased in this treatment of being ignored at a price cut attention scale. The ER was empty for the most part and quite expect for a few people with the same problems as myself.

An hour or so later they moved me not to a room, even though someone with a mild stomach ach and insurance I heard was moved to a room, someone who came in after me, I was moved to another room in the back of the E.R. where they took my blood again and did not look my way for hours. Though I was asked if I wanted something to eat and I told them I was hungry and thirsty having not eaten all the previous day because I did not feel well, even though I keep telling them I was having arm and chest pains still, I sat and listened to nurses take some kind of test on their computers, go get snacks, talk about how they did not understand why the doctors signed off on keeping me, go get breakfast, and all while I sat in my room terrified, thirsty, and hungry.

I told them I was hungry again but no breakfast ever came. They said sometimes they forget people being keep in the E.R. Ok, I understand, how ingracious of me to ask.

I heard them say I was going to do my first stress test at 3pm and then my last at 10pm and if it showed no heart damaged I was being, “D.C.’d out.” I tried to text Wave but could not get a hold of her because my phone did not get much of any sort of signal within the hospital. Again I mis-thought that they would do everything they could not make sure I was ok because I keep telling them, though it was not the same continued pain that I was having in the car on the ride home, I was still hurting.

At 11am they took me to the nuclear place where they injected me and took pictures. They keep me there I heard before leaving the E.R. so they didn’t have to get me a room, could inject me again soon, stress me, and then take more pictures, and get me, “D.C.’d.” out of their hair. Luckily for me their procedure after the treadmill run was to give you a small snack and drink. So for the first time since arriving at the hospital at midnight, even though I was told I could have food and drink if I wanted and I said I did, several times, I got half a cup of apple juice, and a small sandwich.

After all that they sent me back to the E.R. around 3 pm where Wave was waiting. We keep hearing over and over that they wanted to get me D.C.’d quick. I sat in the room unplugged still having pains in my chest from time to time until near 5pm with only having drank a half of cup of apple juice since getting into the hospital and a small turkey sandwich. I wanted to get out of there quick to get something to eat. They finally let me go after the bill person came by.

Here is the kicker folks. As the nurse was taking out my I.V. tube, which they never gave me an I.V. with, though the E.R. doctor did originally ask for one, the nurse did not inform me of a great reason the doctors did not think it was not a heart attack besides the fact that I wasn’t having one currently and they did not see any severe damage, she told me in her medical opinion that all of this was caused because I did not shit enough. Did I state that clearly enough? Based on nothing except for the fact that my stomach was rumbling, I wonder why, and that my stomach was tight, I wonder why, I was rushed to the E.R., I had chest and arm pains, I had been having these symptoms for a few days, and she thinks it is just BECAUSE I NEED TO SHIT MORE!

My chest still hurts sometimes, my arms hurts but have no fear, I just need to shit…..which by the way, I do plenty.

Did I leave anything out? Oh, just the fact that unless I’m actually on the floor somewhere dying I’m going to tell everyone there is no point taking me to the doctors, I have no insurance, just point me to the nearest W.C.


Sunday, May 18, 2008


We do not live in a land of equal rights. We live in a land of equal rights for some. Our government, our current president, the laws of American separate on the basis of hate and each and every one of us who does not speak up on issues of sexism, homophobia, and racism are cowards. When I was a teenager I watched films and television programs on the civil rights movement, slavery, and segregation and wondered how anyone could sit and watch these things happen and believe it is ok? We still live in a land of segregation. Some of the targets and styles of hate have changed but it is still the good old fashion U.S.A. brand of “The powerful rule and make the rules of right and wrong.” Do America’s hands feel dirty?

We do not live in a promised land where we will help those who need help. Instead we short test those without insurance at hospitals and try to shuffle the hungry from one area to another to get them out of sight.

We can’t even fucking admit that we committed acts of genocide against the natives of the lands we live on. America’s hands are not dirty, they are covered in blood.

We do not live in a land of freedom for all nor a place where you can be free to worship or not worship in the fashion your heart chooses. You look at people like Bush and you look at a man who would stamp Jesus Fucking Christ, or J.F.C. for short, on every official document and seal if he could but still those who are of different religions vote for him and his like based on common biased hatreds. I think the only reason there has never been in my lifetime a large attempted political push to take over sectors of our government and hand them cleanly over to Christian doctrine is that no body can decide what form of Christianity is the right one? In America there are more forms of Christianity than there are spices in a grocery store. Some of them are great with meals but some of these taste like dust when they hit your tongue. Ok, if anything please not Southern Baptists, I don’t want to have to pay for using the shitter if I’m gun marched to church on a Sunday morning sometime in the future. If that made anyone angry, well, so am I.

When are American’s going to take off their childhood blinders and see how many scars we really have? This country is young but it is not a child and it is time it starts acting like an adult or it will crumble under the weight of its own ego like so many empires before it have done.

I will return tomorrow with a long write up on my hospital visit…well, if I’m still alive. The one thing I can afford to do and I’m free to do without government inference is di….shit, never mind………….


Wednesday, May 14, 2008


We traveled to Tampa on Monday because Wave had to attend a class there but something sort of got us side tracked on the way back home.

OH, OH, hey, something interesting to write about that happen on the way down to Tampa took place at a road rest area stop. Many the stories that could come out of those places could fill a library by themselves. I went into the mensroom sharply dressed in black chucks, green jeans, a pink SAVE ROE shirt, and a black shirt over that. I was standing up doing the pee deed when some old fucker who was one over from me looked over to me in my area not to look while someone is busy and gave me a face. My first thoughts were to myself and they were, ‘Dude, Am I going to get molested by a grandpa at a rest stop?’ Then while I’m still doing my business he spoke, ‘I have to say something to you.’ Thoughts flashed through my mind, ‘Ok, I know, It’s small but it works.’ Don’t ask, even my quick thoughts are self-defecating….wait, is that the right word? My head is still scrambled from what I will talk about next paragraph. Then he continued, ‘What would have happen if you had been aborted son?’ At this moment I remembered that someone once said around the same thing to Wave while she was tabling somewhere and she told me about it and I thought of that as I answered, ‘I wouldn’t be here?’ Then he just stumbled within some words and as he did so I looked down at his feet and had to hold myself back from spinning around to face him and clean off his gnarly toed old fucker sandals because while all of these was still going on, I was still getting rid of a Pepsi that my body had recycled. After staying for two long he left, I finished, and I walked out to meet Wave at the snack machines and I was almost at a lost for words to tell her what happen. She said I should blog about it so blame her if thinking about old men staring at my pissing stance is something I should not have put into your head on this day.

But what happen on the way home is that my left arm and chest started hurting really bad, which they had been doing on and off for a few weeks, and I had Wave take me to the emergency room when we got back in Melbourne. I will write a longer entry about what happen while in the hospital later, which deals with them basically saying they don’t know what was wrong with, them not feeding me, and basically seeing how they treat you second hand when you do not have insurance. Right now I’m back at home resting still feeling like shit. At least to cheer me up a little the lady I love took me to the comic bookshop and picked me up the Doctor Who #4, Secret Invasion #2, and a Cyberman figure.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


If you liked the old Speed Racer show go see the movie, if you love visuals go see the movie, if you dream of races out of control and completely unbelievably dangerous, go see the movie. I enjoyed it.

Friday, May 9, 2008

THE TITLE IS: ANGELIC JONES....Wait, sounds like a porno name...

Last night Wave brought home Kevin Smith: My Boring-Ass Life which I had been waiting for from the library for a long time. It has been on hold for me for about six months now. I started reading some of it last night and this morning. Since she did not have to work today we make a couple of library trips and I picked up Neon Genesis Evangelion: Angelic Days-Vol.1(which seems to be a slightly more tame and YA version of the story from what I've read so far) Catch-22, the movie(I spotted a poster for this while watching The L-Word the other night and told myself, you know you have never actually watched that movie, so I checked it out today)Catch And Release(we went to the theater for this when it first came out because Kevin Smith is in it and I thought I would check it out for a review) and to round out my library take aways I picked up Volume 1, discs 3-6 of The Adventures Of Young Indiana Jones. I should go through all of that tonight.

Writing wise I'm finishing up the final touches on Mexican Coffee and Refreshing Boring Deadly which will be available at LuLu to download at the end of this month. The first for free and the second for a small small fee.


Thursday, May 8, 2008


A lot of my writing right now is about me writing to see where I am succeeding and where I am failing at telling the stories I have to tell. I'm putting my steps out there for anyone to see. I am putting PDF's out for free, PDF's with a charge tagged on, submitting to a publisher or website. Be it a story as prose, poetry, novel, short story, or song. Be it a film script or comic script I am writing to be a better writer.

As sitting in our bedroom office area; while also watching Arrested Development:Season One. If you are thinking about or have been thinking about buying any of the seasons of this show on DVD go here to follow a link where you can buy all three seasons of this very well written series for only $45.60. That's a pretty good deal for three seasons of a series. This for me is my first viewing of the series and after having many people recommend the series to me I decided after spotting it at the library to pick up the first disc for season one.

Today finds me doing laundry by first soaking and washing my clothes in the bathtub and then hanging them out on the balcony to dry. Our balcony is a balcony, slash garden, slash recycle area, slash laundry area. How come I have the urge to change my last name to Good? "Bar..." Wave will get that joke. Don't you love inside humor on a blog? Yea, me neither.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Worked about 800 words into a story last night. Not a great night of writing but productive anyways. I need to put in a lot more writing hours in the next few days to meet two deadlines I have for myself at the end of the month.

You know how every paper has letters to the editor and quite a few of those letters end up being written by illinformed people and with the internet you get that even more so? I have a new rule for my own sanity. No looking at the letters to the editor. As my dad use to say, "It's hard to agrue with an idiot but it's not hard for an idiot to agrue with you."

On a happier note I have to say you can really meet some really nice people online. Just wanted to say that because in my life the internet has introduced me to life long friends, great online friends, creative people I have enjoyed working with, and once even a girlfriend, though not Wave, I meet her at a feminist meeting. We feel in lust talking about The Doors, Douglas Adams, and Harry Potter.

Newsarama Commenter: "Stop Putting Spanish in My DC Comics!" I love the fact that they have a Spanish issue of Blue Beetle and this is from someone who barly speaks English and only speaks a sort of Hillbilly geek. I have always hated when you have a character in a comic, movie, tv show, or book who is bi-lingual but you hardly ever have him speak anything but English except when using profanity? I say good to DC for doing this. Maybe it is one step ahead to better things. Oh, and as I said earlier to not reading letters to the editor. I have stopped also reading comments on Newsarama becasue all it did was make me want to bang my head against the keyboard and Wave would kick my ass if I busted her laptop.

Here, clear your mind of bullshit.

I'm going to go have lunch with the lady I love. Yep, I'm that sappy and I don't care. I say "lady I love" it's sad if you can't say things like that. And no I did not spell check anything, I have someone to hug at the door.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Wave woke up sick early this morning and I told her to get back into bed so she wouldn't have to drive me to the Walk-In clinic feeling like shit. We can go the next day she has off. If its something serious I will not have the money anyways.

After I got off the net yesterday and took the laptop into the livingroom where we have no internet connection to work on some writing I ended up getting only around 500words done which is really depressing to me but I have to keep telling myself progress is a move forward and stop beating myself up for not being able to do 1000words every time I dive into a story especially with how bad I'm feeling right now.

Byzarium. This is a webzine dedicated to fantasy, sci-fi and horror fiction. Go give a look around.

NIN free download. I'm not a huge fan but I know some of my friends are.

I can hear Wave listening to Foo Fighters in the living room while working on her puzzle. The little feets in the top left corner are her lovely toes and feets.

Marketing women athletes and cringe-inducing headlines I love the WNBA and have from the begining but I just don't think this is the way to go. And if anyone was going to ask my all time favorite WNBA player is I would have to sayKatie Smith. I have been following her game since college.

American Life League launches anti-birth control campaign My God we human beings are the most..?..I can't even think well enough to say what I want to say.

Free Little Brother for librarians, teachers, etc -- a tipjar alternative for people who loved the free ebook Wave you might want to take a look at this.

Nelson Mandela and the ANC are on the US terrorist watchlist and need waivers to enter the country I have to shake my head so much from shit that happens from within my country that I'm starting to get whiplash.

Wave needs the computer so I will go take out the garbage after posting this.