Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Being so sick I could barley move with a migraine keep me from posting a entry last night…wait, No I did post one. Something about ax murdering a few people and me poking my eye out. Which could let to a interesting story where I did end up with my eye dripping blood and Wave tries to say I did it on purpose. Yes, if picking at your eye for five minutes is on purpose I guess I‘m guilty. I thought it looks cool though.

To another point. Pointing at today. I do not know if this entry will make it onto the web since we are having lots of internet problems at the day job. So if you are reading this good for you but I still can not get online to check on Doctor Who breaking news. Stop calling me a geek Wave, You say it like it is a bad thing. At least I’m a honest geek. Maybe toothless but honest. Oh, go watch SUV!

Ex-Bush Counsel: Congress Can Stop Iraq War
Anti-war momentum gathered steam on Capitol Hill Tuesday with new resolutions and testimony challenging the Bush administration’s plans for Iraq. Appearing before the Senate Judiciary committee, former Bush administration counsel Bradford Berenson said the constitution gives Congress “broad authority” to end the war. Three other constitutional experts gave backing testimony. Republican Senator Arlen Specter challenged President Bush’s recent vow to send more troops to Iraq regardless of what happens in Congress.
Democracy NOW!
Sorry skipped government class my senior year for the most part. Though to me this sounds like we have some big time constitutional battles coming up in the courts and within the country as a whole. Tell me you aren’t, but I think everyone is, watching just for the moment when Mr. President comes out of the White House, walks up to that podium and says, “Who do you people think you are? I‘m the President” And thus we get to see the beginning of what so many countries have went through, a crumbling government.

FBI Surveillance Collects Internet Use in Massive Database
In domestic surveillance news, the FBI appears to have adopted an invasive Internet surveillance technique that collects far more data on innocent Americans than previously disclosed. Cnet News reports that instead of recording only what a particular suspect is doing, agents conducting investigations appear to be assembling data on thousands of Internet users at a time into massive databases. Those databases can then be mined for names, e-mail addresses or keywords.
Democracy NOW!
I wonder if they found all my old Doctor Who fan fiction I wrote on the net back in the old days? Hey, FBI please return to sender. You can keep all my rants that Bush sucks, I would rather live in Canada speeches, and even some of those dirty chats me and Touch use to do online but I would like to have my fan writing returned.
Thank you,
You are a credit to John Edgar Hoover.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Bad headache today making me want to fork out my eye balls and blindly feel around until I find my ax and then feel even more blindly around until I find someone to....

Monday, January 29, 2007


Not really much interested me in the news today or much of anything else. Currently reading stuff here. Peter David is a writer that some do not like because of his personal views. And his writing has been hit or miss for my personal taste at times. He came up thought when talking with a friend tonight online who said, “I can‘t read his writing, I just can‘t stand his views on politics.’…which just strikes me as stupid. Maybe I’m stupid, child like, or just plan off my kill-hole but hating someone’s work for their personal views just doesn’t make sense. I have lots of writers and artists whose books and movies sit on my bookshelves but I would no more invite them over for drinks in my home than call Dick Cheney up and say, ‘Hey, buddy. How does fish sticks and Budweiser sound to you? Great, come on over The Factor starts in a hour.’

I once said that to not be political in today’s environment is akin to suicide and I believe that but for followers of good storytelling and followers of the arts to start putting stamps on works just based on the creators personal views is to me like closing down a bookstore and not caring. If you hate a writers work. Fine, move on and find someone else you may like. But if you only hate or will not approach a book or story because the artist may seem too liberal or conservative then your not thinking with both sides of that thing sloshing around in liquid above your shoulders. I use mine from time to time, make a point to try it tomorrow. You may even find your ability to understand the rules of Wheel Of Fortune better.

And sort of along the same drained, washed along road side acid, pitched away thought pattern that I march to I hate when a writer clearly aims a fiction book politically one way or another. Yes, everything that makes up a writer life will make it in some way or another into his writing if he gets time to develop a good body of work. I just have never seen people as on the right or left, liberal or conservative and I think for a writer to plainly paint characters as being on one side or the other is truly a act of one dimensional writing and is lazy. And I maybe a hack but I’m not lazy in how I approach characters or stories.

Oh and no matter how much we like to paint those we hate as being one form of primordial life with legs. Looking at them as one wave length creatures. Its just not true. Ever. Demonizing is a failure of stupidity in the laziness of not being able to see the weakness falls, fear runs, animal leaps; evil natures that exist within all of us. Yes Hitler loved, Jesus probably did get down with at least one babe, and George W. Bush- Mr. President himself is not trying to get more people killed on purpose. Its fun to paint him like Doctor Doom in a bad suit but we all are human. The tragic and sad thing is that some of us wear blinders when it comes to living in the world with other people. He is one of those people. Doctor Doom he is not.

I lost my way from a thought to just post a website link of a writer I like for the day to a rant that lead on but lead nowhere….

Maybe that is because that is how I see the world going. Into the future but standing still while it does so little.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Sunday, January 28, 2007


Another Sunday of data entry and not getting enough done from the amount of work I need to get done at the pay the rent job. At least Wave was kind enough to stop off this morning on the way giving me a ride to work so I could grab a Pepsi and some Dunkin. Love ye.

Read this a few days ago on Wil Wheaton’s Vox blog and never put together all the connections myself until then. Funny. Shows you how powerful good mentors and teachers are also. They do not only influence individuals, they influence the course of history…Man that sounded like a sound bite from a commercial for something on the History Channel; which, is ok with me because I love that channel.

Go here if you like comics and the history and legends of such. It’s a series of articles on comic book urban legends. Over the weekend I have been going through all the past articles to catch all up.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Saturday, January 27, 2007


Look to the right…No, the right. I have links now. I’m special! Shut up Wave.
Now people can visit the places I spend too much time at work visiting when I should be spending more time at work, working. Hell, there is a concept worth adapting. But maybe not today. It is Saturday morning for Gods sake. I should be home watching my new Doctor Who season two set or at least watching some episodes from my Dungeons & Dragons the animated series set which I picked up about a month ago. Yes, I am a geek with very big letters.

I guess they are doing a George type re-mastering of Classic Star Trekepisodes. I don not know how I feel about this really? I like the re-created scenes for Star Wars. But I love the originals also and need both in my collection. In the sense that every geek needs a very understanding person in their live to put up with them. I do not like the having to buy 800 hundred different DVD and tape sets though to get everything. This is not Ted Turner doing some sort of crappy colorization. They actually make things better for the most part when doing this sort of thing. This from not seeing any of the re-mastered Star Treks but I know they have done slight things to some old Doctor Who episodes that worked when released on DVD and everyone who is ever near me knows that is my geek life.
I think something like what they did with the Doctor Who story Invasionwere they had missing episodes to recreate is great to go back to them and rework thing. A perfect situation for using animation to fix one of the BBC’s biggest fuck ups ever because only the biggest of us geeks would probably buy a DVD without all the story episodes, thus you can pull buyers into this story who may never have been attracted to it before. Lets hope the BBC does this with all the missing Doctor Who episodes. But if they started to over all do a re-mastering of classic Who how would I feel? I think excited. Then worried. Then broke because I would buy them the same as I did all the tapes and DVDs of Star Wars. I already have a lot of Doctor Who stories on tape(some more than one type version) and DVD.
I think the biggest thing for fans if being given a choice whether it is with Star Wars, Star Trek, or Doctor Who is for the producers of the products to make all the versions available and preferable on the same disk. Oh, and don’t even get me started talking about HD-DVD or Blue Ray disk or….AHHHH, because I think it is repulsive that these huge money making industries do not give a fuck about the wallets of the customers enough to make the machines were you can play all formats together…oh, and they could do it. Bastards, fucking….AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!…I told you not to get me started.

I went here for these to listen to for it to calm me down from the above feeling of a oncoming rant. These audio stories are so well done and some of the best stories ever done in the Doctor Who universe. If any of these trailers interest you, you should pop over to the official Big Finishsite and order a few of the CDs. I only have about 10 right now in my collection but plan to add lots, lots more. I thinking of doing a subscription since they now have a North American distributor here at The Alien Entertainment Store.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Friday, January 26, 2007


Admin Seeks Dismissal of Wiretap Suit
Back in the United States, the Bush administration has asked a US appeals court to dismiss a lawsuit challenging its warrantless domestic spy program. The White House says the case is moot since it decided this month to seek wiretap approval from the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court. Plaintiffs including the American Civil Liberties Union say they’ll challenge the administration’s request.

Ok, now they will follow the laws of the land. Already have enough information on every body in America? Or are some of you thinking about your futures and if you have any outside of bars that citizens may make for you? I do not think Bush will ever be convicted of anything because he did not directly as Nixon did commit any crimes. Directly. And it would take that to take down a President, former or in office. Incompetent? Yes. Criminal. Not in any way that will put his ass in jail. Now a few of those around him maybe thinking of the heat that may come when he is out of office. But I go back to my original thought. I think them saying now we will seek approval for wiretaps is more because either they have all the information they probably could get through this method or they, the they sort of people who live in dark corners, they are finding other ways to do what they want.

I found thisinteresting to read.

Though this information is probably old news to anyone in the know so to speak. By the way MS Magazine is a great read. I read Wave’s copies when she gets them and always find something interesting within. Should be regular reading not just for women but anyone interested in the world we live in.

Something elseDoctor Who wise for me to geek out about. They need to get Torchwood here, The Sarah Jane Adventures, and this new animated series. Also some channel needs to bring back the classic series nationally to the U.S. Just please don’t put them all on different nights. Wave would strangle me if she had to watch Doctor Who every night.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Thursday, January 25, 2007


A little from Amy Goodman's new book
"Static: Government Liars,Media Cheerleaders, and the People Who Fight Back" "Under the Bush administration, at least twenty federal agencies have spent $250 million creating hundreds of fake television news segments that are sent to local stations. State Department official Patricia Harrison (she became president of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting in 2005) told Congress in 2003 that the Bush administration considers its "good news" segments to be "powerful strategic tools" for influencing public opinion. "The Government Accountability Office, the investigative arem of
Congress, had a different term for it: "covert propaganda." In four different reports in 2005, the GAO detailed how the Bush administration had broken the law. The administration's response: The White House instructed the heads of all government agencies in a March 2005 letter to disregard the GAO findings on covert propaganda."

Amy will sign copies of her book, available for sale at the 3rd Annual Progressive Celebration. Below is what I received in a e-mail from the SCPA. I attended last years lecture and plan to attend this one also. AMY GOODMAN IS GUEST SPEAKER AT 3RD ANNUAL PROGRESSIVE CELEBRATION Sat. Feb. 10, Melbourne 7pm (doors open 5:30pm) GENERAL ADMISSION TICKETS AVAILABLE. $15 advance, $20 at door (if available). Friends of Amy reserved seating are SOLD OUT. On Saturday, Feb. 10, 2007, as part of SCPA's 3rd Annual Progressive Celebration, award-winning journalist, author and Democracy Now! host Amy Goodman will speak on topics covered in her new book, "Static: Government Liars, Media Cheerleaders, and the People Who Fight Back." Amy will sign copies of her book, available for sale at the event. We expect a sell-out crowd. Co-sponsored by public radio station WFIT 89.5FM. (Hear Amy Goodman and Democracy Now! Mon-Fri 9-10am on WFIT 89.5FM.) LOCATION: Melbourne, Florida Tech campus.
DOWNLOAD FLYER:scpa3cel_v1bw_lowrez.pdf

Written at the pay the rent job,


Pentagon Unveils Heat-Inducing Ray Gun
In military news, the Pentagon unveiled a new weapon Wednesday that gives targets the sensation they are about to catch fire. The ray gun was displayed at a media demonstration where people pretended to take part in a riot. The weapon isn’t expected to go into production for another three years.
Democracy NOW!
Ok, so basically frame throwers in a way. I can see big heads saying now, ‘Now we will keep it on sunburn setting unless the person feels threatened.’ Yea, like if Star Trek was real anyone would use the Stun setting against threats. ‘Opps. Sir, I think I just fried another villager. I though it was on Florida setting but I had it on the Surface Of The Sun setting.’ Just can’t wait until the first redneck gets a hold of one of these and tries to cook a deer paddy with it.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Yes, I do spell check my blog for the most part. No I do not really care if I make a mistake here.
Does it reflect badly on me as a writer if grammer and spelling mistakes apear on my blog? Don't really care, it's my blog. It is for me to keep in touch with friends and family for the most part and to keep my thoughts on forming words secondly as a writer excerise. And if anything reflects badly on my writing, it is my writing in general. Maybe not a healthy attuide but I'm not in good health in any shape or form to be honest.
Oh, and I know how to spell libuary. I choose in Brian's world to spell it the way I like as long as it is in something like in this blog. Like how I know I make up words sometimes. What's wrong with people in them being afraid of differenting and changing uses of communcation? The whole libuary thing is a long story involing a teacher I hated in high shool, a pass to go study in the libuary, and me spelling it wrong in a rush to get out of a class full of football players and cheerleaders as fast as I could. She said I could not leave because I did not write it correctly, I told her to fuck off. I was going through my rebel without a clue faze at that time. My dad gave me a rebel across the head smack for that one.


Sitting at the libuary typing this. Only checked out a few journals and blogs of friends so far this morning. Have not made the news rounds yet, probably write another entry tonight after I do that...or maybe not. Probably be too pissed after reading Bush's speech to write anything. Which I have not done yet. Add Bush speaking with what I know already know from checking my e-mails will be a sucking night at work has me already in a bad mood today. Maybe its the lack of a morning Pepsi? That maybe it. May not be or it maybe who knows with me.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Looks like my title will be changing at work. Basically doing the same thing I have been doing but may end up with a better sounding title with a little more money. I really am happy where I am work wise right now. It is not that bad of a company and I do like working for a smaller company, and they so far are showing me a lot of respect for the work I am doing for them and treating me ok for it. At least for now.

Now in saying what I just said above you will still hear me ranting, whining, and rambling on and on about work at my pay the rent job from time to time. Having problems with a job that is not your life’s passion is normal if you ask me. Though to be honest I can not get the way some people are so unhappy here where I work? They act like it is such a terrible place. You can tell some of them are young and have never worked in that many different environments because this place is no where near the worst place I have worked.

My hands are killing me right now from all the data entry I have been doing at. I did about 15hrs of it on Sunday and went home last night after about 9hrs of more and my whole left arm was killing me. I already have arthritis in my hands and elbows so this amount of repetitive typing is really kicking that into over drive. Add that to all the other typing I do in e-mails, blogs, reports, and all such computer tasks and I hope I don’t end up looking like my old Auntie with hands like a mutilated crab.

Same old same old smell of crap news from what I read today. Mr. President is going to give his big speech soon and I wish I could be there to hear it but I have a really important meeting to attend. I think I will be taking a bathroom break around that time. Doing something more interesting there.

I want this. Loved that series when it was on PBS. His personality was just a perfect fit for that program.

In my writing veins, beside writing daily here in this blog I have not found the time for much of anything else writing else besides just jotting down ideas and such. With 12 to 15 work shifts of late it has been Brian is a very tired boy and I watch a little TV at home and then crash until time to go to work again. But need to watch some DVDs this weekend so I can write a few reviews and then dive into a short story submission I’m working on and open up on the crappie drafts I did once as a PDF collection so I can start working those into a book short story collection.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Monday, January 22, 2007


I watched this years Doctor Who Christmas episode and going into it after reading a lot of mostly negative reviews I found myself surprised. I really enjoyed it. I like the run around part of it. The TARDIS chase was something out of my childhood dreams. The comedy was good, I enjoyed the creature, and I loved this look at the darker side of David Tennant’s Doctor and the fact that The Doctor was changed by The Time Wars. The Christopher Eccleston Doctor was a solider after a war and Tennant’s in a way, in my view is like one living on the edge a little who needs friends around to hold his mind in the proper frame of thinking so to speak. A lonely Doctor now is a very dangerous Doctor.
I hope they never show The Time War though unless it was to somehow show the 8th Doctor played by Paul McGann. Though to be honest I do not believe the creative talents behind the scenes will ever do that. A flash back could take place without taking away from the mystery power that The Time Wars are to the series. Don’t see it ever happening though. Maybe in a official book or audio but not on TV.

I bought the second season set by the way at Best Buy. Have not watched it yet but there is a Doctor Who marathon in the future. Wonder if I have enough burritos for it? Poor, poor Wave to have to put up with me.

I saw something on the news today that stated in the news story that more older people are taking anti-depressants now than ever before. They are worried about the elderly being depressed. They aren’t depressed, their old. They walk around every day with Death nipping at their heals. How would you fucking feel. They don’t need Prozac, they need Opinium in small but enjoyable doses. Did I spell Opinium right? Forget it. Sometimes wish I had some though.
And below may make old people really depressed. Old radicals.

In Pennsylvania, Secret Service agents questioned an 81-year-old man on Thursday after he wrote a letter to the editor criticizing Saddam Hussein's execution. In the letter, Dan Tilli, wrote "they hanged the wrong man." The Secret Service agents searched his house and took photos of him before deciding he was not a threat.
Democracy NOW!
This is just about as ridicules as when the government investigated the Goth movement as a threat to the country…People say I live in a fantasy world like it’s a insult. Damm right I do. That shit going on out there scares me.

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) : "This resolution is basically a vote of no confidence in the men and women we're sending over there. We're saying we're not going to stop you from going there but we don't believe you can succeed and we're not willing to support that. I don't think the troops would find that an expression of support."
Democracy NOW!
I’m starting to really not like John McCain. Really Mr. McCain. Don’t think the troops would like that do you? I respect your combat service for our country but fuzzy thinking is MESSED UP! I don’t think the troops who have died would appreciate the fact that they went there and died because of lies or that our President is more willing to go through with what he believes to make a point, to try and make people see he was right all along, and do that with the lives of those serving in the military now, no matter what anyone else thinks.
I have friends and family in the military Mr. McCain. I don’t wish them to die because no one in this fucking countries political system has the balls to say they fucked up. They sent good women and men to die for revenge, politics, oil, racism, and so our President, Mr. Anointed Of God could stick his dick out as some sort of power symbol of how mighty America is and say to everyone in The Middle East, ‘See, See how big it is!’
Yes, We see. You’re a Big Dick.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Just got into work at 6:53am. Though I was here earlier it too me a while to get into the shop because someone shut our door and I could not for the life of me remember the code for the door because we never close it. So I went and picked up my morning Pepsi and after that it just popped into my head.
Did not really run across anything interesting on the net this morning. Mostly because most of the sites I normally visit do not either update on the weekends or on Sunday to be centered on that day in particular. Maybe I will find a mind to write something more substantial later but for right now I’m just settling in at work, giving people their marching orders and such while I plug Wave’s headphones into my ears and start listening to Nothing Else Matters by Metallica.

I wrote the following on April 7th of 2006

I hate the corporate nature of believing all the lies,
I hate the ways you push down the poor and calculate them up into lines,
We are not the fodder for your dreams of masturbation by the side of your God,
Your weak minds are childish and this fucked up man is moving on,
It is my bleeding time,
It is the ways I will stand up and move you on,
She stands on the protest lines while my mind is touched more and more in time,
It is the bleeding and it is the blood from the past coming back to haunt you,
I am warming up to an end to the norm and taking up signs for my own company,
The company of she has the right to walk in for choice,
The company of they have the right to hold and hold on,
The company of ending these government crimes,
The company of push me more and more and the ground will signal,
The company of judging you for your crimes,
Crimes complicated and simple,

At the pay the rent job,

Saturday, January 20, 2007


From time to time I will be re-posting old blog entries from my MySpace because I no longer blog there and two because some days there just is not a original thought in my head…well, maybe that isn’t true but I sure can be lazy sometimes, just ask Wave.

Written around 9:21am 2/13/06 at the rent pay job,
I find myself being this contradiction to points of thought and find as the reasons why being that I do not really fit well into activist groups or any organized group for that matter being it a club, religion, union, or fan club of the best sci-fi series ever and which has its new series premiering on SCI-FI CHANNEL ON MARCH 17. WATCH DOCTOR WHO. Hey, that cannot be called advertising? I am only talking to about 4 or 5 people who go to my page? And only one I think reads my blog? Not like I’m company product placing? I will leave that to political pushers who push their wares for the betterment of their own pockets… and The O.C. That show is nothing but one big product placement and it makes me wonder how people like watching a long commercial like that. Though to be honest the acting is better in the Coke commercials with the polar bears and that’s coming from a Pepsi man.
A whole paragraph just raced through that mentioned 4 products. That paragraph was praising two and going against two others. Lets think about this for a moment. Think about the old saying, “No publicity is bad publicity.” You sit in front of your televisions and computers and you love the commercials or television shows that promote the things you like and down grade those things you do not like. When you watch do you ever think that the mouthpieces speaking to you from that box or screen are hired or paid or as some say flattered into speaking those brands? And that is what it is, speaking a brand. News agencies, talk shows, hosts of said shows, individual celebrities. Some receive payments or freebies or chances on future endorsement deals all for the simple mentioning or pushing of a brand that fits their show or lifestyle or goes totally against them…
I love Coke, I hate Pepsi, I love CNN, I hate FOX NEWS. Do you really think inside the offices that do the advertising for those companies or personalities that they care one way or the other as long as the brand is spoken. Remember the whole attention span thing when it comes to modern humans who live the technological lifestyles we all tend to live today? We remember bites of information and I do mean bites.
Good news,
Bad news,
I love it,
Fuck it,
Whether on television, print, or on the web people should honestly look at how easily they can be manipulated by brand placement. Who knows maybe the next big blog or online journal or website should be looked at a little closer. If someone wanted me to sale something to the young or independent or lets say underground culture one of the first things I could do is create a fake blog or of the sort site. I would hire a young model to pose as the person who created the site… something punkish but Goth. Someone who gives off a Loita sexuality. Then lets see…? …. How about we have professionally done amateurish in appearance pictures taken to show her totally personal style against this company owned world. Yes, that sounds good and I would have the site written by a good research writer who handles youth culture keeping it updated on random issues for a few months until it got popular, then after releasing the product locally first the blogger can comment on it and then we can release it national. ..
But that’s not it. Oh, not by a long shot. You cannot have anything worth having in today’s market media world without having a few people who hate it. I would have the blogger say something bad about the product one day and then hire someone for the one job of sending the blogger a really nasty e-mail. Hire the person as a actor under a non-disclosure contract. After the internet community attacks our company for about a week or two we fire the actor hired to be this attacking employee to make it appear we care and ask this “blogger” to help us reshape our product into something for her generation. So after two months of her talking about the ins and outs and good and bad of dealing with this big company we have her take a job. This is a pulling away from the ad campaign start. This will piss off many online who will say she is saleing out and then we have her doing about two months of boring blogs before she moves on with her life and her site goes away.
You think this is just me talking? I had some friends once in advertising who said one of the happiest things they saw was how the online community helped sale certain books like Prozac Nation and The Virgin Suicides on the word of mouth of the individual sites people had. What really got their blood going was how easy it would be to use that. Fake websites for movies and such have already popped up the past few years. I say in a couple of years or maybe sooner there will be a big story, Someone will find a file or decide to blow the whistle and a lot of people will be surprised by how many sites, blogs, and e-mail lists they were involved with that might as well had been sewn with a trademark implanted right on the page… and you know what? Nothing anyone can do about it. From the government to companies there are no laws saying you have to be who you say you are on websites, blogs, or e-mail lists unless you are trying to do something illegal. We of the Internet generations may not like it but it’s a fact of the creature that is the internet. Web mining for information, fake websites for promotion, and other uses for product placement, advertising, and manipulation are a tool for all. ..
Here is a fun little game for home. Take any magazine and for each article highlight each time they mention a product. Highlight each time a photo within this magazine has someone wearing some kind of product shirt or jacket with the brand clearly seen.
I have always said take what you read and see and hear with a grain of salt but then again this is coming from someone who is just a struggling factory worker trying to get a career started as a writer…..?
Do not look directly at the person in the boa picture he may not be who he seems to be,

When I originally wrote this some people were mis-lead by some of the things I wrote. I love capitalism-computers, DVD's, TV, and DOCTOR WHO and advertising is not that bad a thing. I don't apologize or feel bad for the things I have because I've earned them but just wonder about some peoples sense of seeing things. What I hate is when people put themselves out there as puppets of the powerful, the same way with government propaganda and act all "Duuu George" when something is revealed. I know marketing, One of the few things I do know and the only reason I am not getting paid big money to do it right now is I know how easy it is to twist people and I really do not like that side of it.


What The Holy Fuck am I doing at work on a Saturday at 6am?! Oh, yea, need money, poor, truck not working……..

Don’t worry citizens Fox News will save us from the evils of the world. Way too early in the morning for Fox News stuff, thanks Nation. Though I do have a theory as to why some people watch Fox news besides the idiots who for some reason think Billy O’Reily actually can make a coherent point about anything, besides those type of people I think others watch for two reasons. To know the enemy as the old saying goes and as I do sometimes besides the previous reason, I watch to piss myself off. Just like CNN, Fox News gets the old shout at the world going within me. Keep it up people, I need the energy. Keeps me focused on the line of sight I need to be seeing through.

After work, when ever that actually happens I plan to cash my check and then go grocery shopping. I’m buying Guinness this time, I need it. There is also that set of the second season of Doctor Who sitting on shelves in stores… I need a second job. Wonder if I could make anything as a male prostitute? I have no FRONT TEETH! Nay, too fat.

Having a bad day today and not just because it is Saturday and I am at work when I could be doing something much better like bugging Wave at home. A couple of people were suppose to come in to help out today and did not show without calling or anything. Sometimes I wonder, When did I become the responsible one? I have been told in past jobs that sometimes I take stuff too serious but that’s my switch. Full bore or nothing at all. I’m that way with sex also but I have been told that faster is not always better.

See you tomorrow as I return for a Sund… I just did not even have the strength to say it. Fucking Sundays. Church when I was a kid and work as an adult. I think God is the only person in history who ever actually got to rest on Sunday.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Friday, January 19, 2007


I have been going to Jane Espenson’s, site for a while now and anyone who calls themselves a storyteller should check it out also. It is to me the same as having a writing class but unlike most that I took part in when I was in college calling myself a writer and not really doing much of it, Unlike those classes I actually learn something from her site. Just thought I would put that out there for the writer’s among those who visit here because it is one of my daily visits online.

And speaking of places I go online daily. Since someone e-mailed about where I go every day online. Here are my top five places to visit:
Outpost Gallifrey,for my daily Doctor Who fix. I go back to this site to check for updates about six times a day actually. I know geek. This is one of those unofficial sites that out do any official site by miles. The official Doctor Who site though is not bad either. You can find it through the links section of Outpost Gallifrey,
Democracy NOW! for unfiltered news,
Comic Book Resources,for my comic book news,
Neil Gaiman’s site,see how a blog should be written. He is my favorite writer also. Love his Sandman series of anything he has written. Rent or buy Mirrormask because you will love it if you love good art and good storytelling,
Warren Ellis site, because he always has interesting links and pictures on his blog. One of my favorite writers,
And if I am in the need to get pissed off to get the juices following I go here- CNN, because it sometimes makes me shake my head in how much bullshit people can be feed in so many ways and they keep coming back for more.

Being without my truck and having my transportation back and forth and sideways to places is a downer in many ways. I had to have to rely on someone else for my way to work and I hate that it has to be Wave because she is so tired when she has to do this when I have problems with my truck. Rent check is this check so I will not be able to take it to a garage until next check but tonight I will be trying to at least get it back home so it can sit there instead of in the work parking lot. I was planning to drive it home last night but I had to stay late at work and my back was killing me by the time I got out so I just rode with my love, got home, took some pills, eat a quick snack, and went to bed nuzzled up beside her warmth.

This was sad to hear but it happens a lot in pro-wrestling and all sports. Nothing is known right now to the reasons why he died but the worn down abuses most pro athletes take is something none of the people who fuse about the money they make or the way they act in public think about. I remember seeing him live once when I was younger and could not believe how fast a man this big could move. I wanted a tattoo on my head after seeing him also but knew I was too much of a coward to ever really have it done after hearing how much it hurts to get one there.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Thursday, January 18, 2007


I want this- Doctor Who: The Second Season,

This- since I no longer buy monthly comics

And this also- though I could probably just go to Best Buy and get it

I like this but it cost too much- I have been saying forever I was going to get one

And I found this interesting- Hey, anyone want my identity?

Enough links, just practicing to make sure I do them correctly. Back to long night at the day job.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Listening to Suddenly Everything Has Changed by The Flaming Lips as I set up my report which I have to send out at the end of every night. I sort of cheat and start it early in the night but because every night is basically the same I usually do not need to change every much. I do more cutting and pasting and moving things from working on categories to completed categories and leaving little notes along the way. At times I hear people say I’m really good at getting a lot of things done, I’m just good at finding easier ways of doing things than most would look for. Unless something goes wrong the nightly reports I do are not hard at all actually. But don’t tell any, Ok?
Now the weekly orders completed and such reports I do are another thing. Those are a pain in the ass and as they usually do after every weekly meeting they have me add something to it or make it harder on me. Since I’m so behind in entering my paperwork into the database I am more or less counting up numbers quickly from the hard copies and faking it with charts and such to make it look computer generated. All the data is there but it would have been so much easier if they had just let me start from scratch when it comes to the database at the start of the year but no…NOOO! And now I’m already behind this year. I have not even finished December and I’m getting behind for January. But enough about the day job.

Now listening to Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance while taking a rare lunch break. Lately I have been working through lunch to try and get in more hours at work. There is talk though about making me salaried at work; which, I would not mind that much. I do not mind working extra hours as long as they take care of me in other ways and I think my current company, even though they have their faults, I think they will take care of me. They are not Mcd…Oh, sorry MC. I got them confused with another heartless, bloodthirsty company whom you could not find a set within if you lined up all the men in the company side by side.

Promise not beginning a rant but I think if I ever got close enough to ask the President any questions I would either just shout, “FUCK YOU!” or laugh with tears in my eyes and walk away. Of the same note you might be interested in this from The NATION:
I think one of the largest effects coming from this disaster of a war is not just hatred from abroad for America but the anti-government hatred from within. No longer do the intelligent of us fear attacks like that of Oklahoma City from groups of religious zealots or black helicopter crazies but now I believe the future attacks on American soil may come from the youth, the poor, the pushed into a corner. The problem is Mr. President using the phrasing in the above article is that this may not be terrorism as much as a Civil War. I wonder if your set will admit this one is taking place when it emerges. I really wonder if you know how scared, pissed, ready to push back a lot of Americans really are. You can take peoples rights and freedoms and lead them into death and despair but do not expect them to not notice. Me? I’m crazy to the point of living in a fantasy world most of the time, everyone is safe from me. Except for me.

Written at the pay the rent job,


Sitting at the libuary right now because I had to get a ride for work with Wave. She has to be at work really early so I'm here until she leaves and then she can take me to work as she travels home.
She would have to make a extra trip to come get me at the apartment and then take me back to work so this is better. It's already enough her having to drive me and pick me up at night, I thank her for that. Hopefully hugs and kisses is good enough because I sure don't have any cash.
I may update again later but right now I'm still half alseep. Man I'm nothing until I have my first Pepsi of the day.
Written from the libuary. I love libuaries,

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


At this moment. At my job I can truly understand why some people go postal at their jobs. I sometimes belive I live in a place of children. They among these rinkled fuckers who would be of more use to soceity as sheep across a landmine field, these vactioning from the use of every one of their brain cells younger set, They really need to fucking leave me alone I'm dancing between a point of insanity and axe murder right now at my job.

And to just make me even more joyful today. I ask what is worse, A mad dictator or choas?

UN: Over 34,000 Civilians Killed in Iraq in 2006
The United Nations is estimating more than 34,000 civilians were violently killed in Iraq last year -- the figure is nearly three times higher than figures provided by the Iraqi government. The UN estimates another 36,000 civilians were injured.

Monday, January 15, 2007


Sent off the short story submission I was working on today. For the next few weeks I think I’m going to mostly work on my book as well as write reviews for several online sites. The pay the rent job is wearing me out too much right now to fully concentrate on any big deadlines for the moment. I will provide links here as the reviews go live on the sites and if the company were to buy my short story I will make sure everyone hears about it. Everyone.

That about it for tonight. Teeth killing me right now, work is a pain in the ass, the world is fucked up, everything is upside down……..

Written at work while listening to my head scream,

Friday, January 12, 2007


You know what issue is really ticking away at my defensive of giving two depths of a care about humanity (RANT BEGINING) and wishing I could shout to the skies and say beam me up Sontarans, take me away Green Lantern Corps, or please let me die you Saints Of The Orion Muses.
What makes me wish I would further slide into the madness I have been sleeping a little within since childhood to escape all the pure stupidity is this masquerade of monkeys who parade around like ego balloons and call themselves our cream of the crop playing with our lives and the life of this planet all in the name of God, Liberalism, conservatitivism, Allah, Communism, Buddha, Patriotism… The only ism I have ever liked is lesbianism. Everything I know about sex I learned from lesbians. and…well, porn. Lesbian born being the best…..

Bush-you are a lying, dishonest, sexist, prejudice, jackass. Enough said, the words fit picture perfect.
Republicans- you pander to one group like a virgin boy in high school who actually thinks he has a opening with the hot French teacher {hi Ms. Foley} But what you lack the cleverness to comprehend is the American Religious Right are of the same arrangement who supported slavery, segregation, Nazism, and more than a few unforgivable televangelist hair cuts. You will never be able to satisfy them. Quit whoring yourself out for the pulpit and cooperation’s and study true republicinism. Might make you useful.
Democrats- have you seen your backbone lately? Did you ever have one? Running around saying, “We have control, We have control” and pointing fingers in the face of Dick Cheney does nothing, especially after years of hiding in the corner and whispering I hate Bush for the most part. I seriously think Washington is nothing more than a large bunch of former jocks, Speds, and Tailhook veterans. Oh, Hilary, please quit placing yourself up as this symbol of feminity and feminism. I’m more of a feminist than you are. Probably more of a women if some of the rumors are true. And here is a truth you lot America will never elect a female President. Yes we are a country of sexist, misogynist pricks. Truth. And to a point your white washed suits around the club house want her to run. It’s sort of like letting the special ed kid play baseball on the other team. They may have more players in the game but he is sure going to get in the way.

If only Spider Jerusalem was really alive and well and procreating. We need a kick in the face as a whole as human beings and I do not have the words to express those thought the correct way.
The things you think about on the pot?
I need to be rich my one women audience so I can pay the homeless low wages to {I said rich, not generous} have them paint on the side of every Olive Garden the following messages from my deep down soulful heart:
-fuck you Hollywood for all your lack of effort for originality,
-fuck you Washington for dragging us into a future that makes suicide seem pink and flowerily,
-retards getting revenge is sweet,
-my truck deserves a triple fuck you,
-my getting old body can take a huge fuck you up the ass {and not in any fun way}
-everyone likes the thought of threesomes, just get over your hang ups people,
-Sci-Fi needs to pick up Torchwood, I need some Captain Jack,
-Florida radio fuck you,
-my fellow Americans the liberals nor the conservatives are destroying America. You brainless fucks watching so much American Idol bullshit is. Guess you did not plan to use that brain matter dripping from your ears,
-my fellow human beings, please get your heads out of your asses. No God would love hate of any kind and killing in the name of religion is like being motivated to masturbate because you are poor. No real connection there between the two.

Written at 2am while watching Futurama,

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Got into work later than my boss probably wanted but I was pretty tired and sleep most of the day right up until I had to leave for work. He finally moved someone else to help my shift out some so maybe I will not have to be so rushed and stress…Nope, I’m always stressed. Just part of my personality.

E-mailed a few friends old and new to say hi and try to catch up. It is a shame when friends pass out of your life contact wise. Hopefully friendships can be reestablished and if not, as the saying goes, “You always have the memories.”
Man that sounded too Hallmark, I need to go home.

Written at work while getting ready to go home really early because I feel like shit,

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Got to work around 11pm and will be staying until at least 12am. I should really be into bondage and the lot because I sure seem to like to punish myself.
I will probably make myself sick doing it but I really need to work even more hours than I have been of late as tax time is coming up and since I did not have them take any taxes out when I was laid off on my unemployment checks I will be paying this year. Sucks. This will be the first time I ever had to pay anything. I usually just have them take what they want out of my checks each week. Easier that way I think.

Waiting for Wave to get a chance to read over my short story again and then I will do one more clean up draft and then send it off. I do not know if they will publish it but I do think it is a nice little story none the less. I accomplished and said what I wanted to with the words I wrote so them buying it or not is not really worth me worrying about…, “It sucks, I know it does, they will hate it, why should I bother.” Just quoting from how I will probably be thinking when I actually send it off.

Someone just called in and now I’m stuck here until 2am. If I make it I’m going to crash probably as soon as I get home. My boss was wishing me to come in early and help with inventory tomorrow but I don’t fucking think so…

Written at work while listening to the audio of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy,

Tuesday, January 9, 2007


Another short handed night at the pay the rent job. I will be doing the game of stay late and come in really early also to try and get everything that needs to get done completed. Nothing much to talk about today. I did not do anything but sleep, go to lunch with Wave, and then head into work. Right now I’m heading back to work listening to Annihilation by A Perfect Circle off the EMOTIVE CD, though listening actually on Wave’s iPod which she let me barrow because I did not have any batteries for my MP3 player… Well, that is about the most boring entry you should ever get from someone who claims to be a writer.

Written during a very frustrating night at work,

Monday, January 8, 2007

EASCALATION, FRUSTRATION, AND MASTER…..that one’s my favorite!

Bush to Call For Escalation of Iraq War
The new U.S. operational commander in Iraq said Sunday that it will take two or three more years for American forces to gain the upper hand in the war – even if President Bush sends in more troops. Lt. General Raymond Odierno's comments come just days before the president is planning to announce a new escalation of the war. The president is expected to give a prime-time speech on Wednesday night and call for 20,000 more troops and the creation of a billion dollar Iraqi jobs program run by the U.S. Army.

What they are basically going on about from what I have read and seen on the televised news is that Bush and his lackeys are basically saying, ‘Lets start over and this time we will get it right, and maybe only have a couple more thousands troops die.’ I have heard the term cluster fuck all my life but not until just now thinking about the Iraq War did I actually truly know what that means. Mr. Bush thanks for screwing generations to come. I really hope there is a Hell just for your sake alone. Your mother should have drowned your ass in the toilet when you were born.

In writing happenings, I am at the point with the short story I have been working on where I think I maybe finished. Though if I could add a couple thousand more words I would be less in the, “It’s a piece of shit” frame of mind and more in the, “It’s just not good” frame of mind. I finished the first real draft over the weekend and gave it back to Wave so she would read it over again and tell me if it totally sucks or not. I think it does but that is just the writers opinion, most of the time that is the worst person to give a opinion on something which has been written.

Spent the weekend sick for the most part. Been feeling really drained of late and yesterday I wanted to go out for KFC and I paid all night for that choice. I am really getting too old I think for all that grease. I got about 2 hours sleep last night and probably 3 more today before work because of that slip and slide chicken skin.

My manager let a couple people go today and I’m all ready short handed on my shift with my best person now only working two days a week while going to college. I’m stuck here until at least 1am tonight trying to get as much out the door as I can. If my 3rd Shift person calls in sick or something I may drink the rest of Wave’s rum when I get home-Which would probably get my ass kicked but if I’m totally down with the rum I may not notice.

Written just as I am getting ready to leave work early sick,

Friday, January 5, 2007


Bush Admin Asserts Powers to Open US Mail
Back in the United States, privacy advocates are warning over a new presidential decree that asserts White House authority to open US mail without court-approved warrants. In a signing statement attached to a postal reform bill last month, President Bush said the administration will interpret a section of the law to grant itself the authority to open sealed mail in the case of emergencies or foreign intelligence matters. The White House says it is not expanding its powers but clarifying existing laws. But privacy advocates say current laws already allow the opening of mail believed to contain an imminent threat.

No, don’t worry people. He’s on our side. I would like to take that pen he keeps using for those signing statements and…. Well, you get the picture.

Written just as I am getting ready to leave work early sick,

Thursday, January 4, 2007


Today after working late last night I had to get up really early this morning, get in my no gas in the tank smoking like a fucking bonfire truck to go back into work at the day job, night job…well, morning job… Whatever! And my boss promised me he would buy me lunch if I came in early and did I get lunch Nooo!!, not even close. I got a, “Have to give you a rain check on that.” Fine. Just wish he had informed me before I did not pack a lunch. Basic honor. You say you are going to do something, you do it, especially when it is something that simple. Though I did see were he got himself some lunch, Wendy’s on a break he took while I was busting my ass to get shit out.
And I should also mention the fact that he was suppose stay late and help out in the shop but I am here by myself with the customer screaming up my ass for orders… I’m calm, don’t worry. He is not around, Hard to throttle someone when they are not around.
And to think, I actually like this guy for reasons in mystery…though with 10hrs missing from my last check and this latest crap those reasons are falling away.
Maybe I should move away from the topic of work at least for a little while.

The other day I was searching through the net and maybe it was the fact that I was very bored at work or the fact that a new year was starting but I started searching for people I once talked to every day online. Some of those people no longer had a internet presence I could find such as my friend July, others such as my friends Brave Summers and Oracle they where still awake online.
I left a comment in Oracles guestbook and a comment in one of Brave Summers websites/journals. What I found on her site was how much her talent when it comes to telling a story with photos had grown. She had always been one of the most creative photographers I knew and a very talented writer also. I am glade to see she is still writing and taking photos but something else came from me discovering and not discovering those I once considered a large part of my life. I still consider them friends, people who make that sort of large impact on your life just don’t drift out of your soul, maybe out of your life but they will always be part of you.
The thing I continued thinking about when I went to sleep that night was if I should e-mail any of my old friends? Could I leave more comments on friends sites once again? Or is it best to just say hi from time to time? Am I too far in the past? I feel like a stranger to most of my old friends. Those feelings come from and have not be expressed towards me… Were is the line from old friend to still friend to former friend???
So maybe from time to time I will stop off at sites and say hi, or send a e-mail expressing hopes for people being well or point towards my latest journal, blog, or project online??? Or maybe things are best for me to say that I am thinking of my Soul Friends each day of my life as I did in the past and as I continue to do now. Love to Oracle, Speede, Brave Summers, Alia Sun, Mo, and July. We have not spoken in ages but I will never forget any of you.

Oh, and a update on the above work rant. He wants me to come in early again tomorrow and will buy me lunch this time for sure. Dumb fuck I am, I agreed to do it. Sometimes I am just the stupidest person in the world I do believe.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Wednesday, January 3, 2007


Ex-Joint Chiefs Chair: Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
In military news, the former Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has called for a repeal of the military’s don’t ask don’t tell policy. Writing in the New York Times Tuesday, General John Shalikashvili said the military should welcome any American who is willing and able to serve. Shalikashvili is the highest-ranking retired or active military official to call for repealing don’t ask don’t tell. He supported the policy when it was implemented during his first year as Joint Chiefs chair in 1993.

or in other words, We don't like your kind but we sure need more bodies....


Wave had a job interview today so I drove the Red Dying Devil into work today…otherwise known as my piece of shit truck. Besides the fact that I’m almost out of gas also with my wallet being as empty as the gas tank the trip in was and the trip back should be rather interesting but hopefully very boring.

I slept until really late today, not getting shit done once again because I feel too drained to get up and about. I need to find a way to work myself around a schedule were I can get into finishing what I need to get done. I do not get home usually until really late but I can not go to sleep when I first get home. I am usually so wound up from work I need time to come down from that before I can sleep, well unless I play 3 Nighttime PM’s down the throat, but most of the time I need to wind down a bit and eat or watch TV; which, means I usually do not get to bed until deep into the morning. From which I can not get up when Wave goes to work and I sleep most of the day away.
I think I may have to down the PM’s to make sure I get enough sleep. That or maybe a glass of wine at night, that was what at one time I did to help me sleep. But sleep helpers also sometimes make me too tired to get up.
Fucking Time, you and your hour glass.

They are playing the factory games were I work to save money. You know the lay off, give days off without pay, and then rush rush rush when it gets busy and wonder why things can not get finished on time. Take for example the in plant store I work in with the day job, though its at night so technically the night job. They gave everyone the week off except for the shift leads. Now it comes up with have one really Hot order that needs to be finished by Friday and several others coming down the pike tomorrow. And we are not even bottling up to the regular work we have, though not much at the moment, it still must get completed on time.
I have always hated this company knees up and crying I'm sorry plan some companies use of always making a profit at any cost. A great company direction knows the truth, companies do not always make money and they will have times of not making profit. A strong company with strong leadership pulls their boots up and marches through those times. You don’t axe good workers or put good workers in positions of needing to look elsewhere unless your business plan has no other outs. Oh, and if your company has no other outs but to get ride of workers, Your not doing your job.
Enough ranting here I think off to piss off someone. No one in certain of name or discription, I think I'll just find someone, might make me feel better.

Written at the pay the rent job,

Tuesday, January 2, 2007


I came back to the day job today from New Years break to have them going at me about not being able to get a hold of me when they need to. You see technically at this job I am a shift lead and for those that do not know that is a supervisor but paid a lot less. Usually when a supervisor has a lead on their shift, they swing the work to the lead so the lead ends up doing everything the supervisor is getting paid a lot more money to do… or is suppose to be doing.
My manager and one of the owners of the company though considers me a supervisor because of all the supervisor sort of duties I have volunteered to take on and for the most part I like him and get along with him. But his company has hired two big wings who use to work at the other manufacturing type company I once worked for also. These two I do not as much care for but that is neither here nor there, the point to these two paragraphs being they wish to have me on call and be able to get a hold of me any time they wish to get a hold of me but I am not a supervisor in the correct sense of the word. That title does not belong to me. I think my manager would make me a supervisor but he is afraid of getting under the skin of our two best workers if he pushed me up that high. Though they do not wish to take on any extra responsibilities so I think he should just do it.
But what the words I have written was going towards was I got into it with the two big wigs, actually only one of the them, the other does not speak with me after we got into it once before and I make him look like shit in front of everyone. I told them if you want to be able to get in touch with me at all times get me a company phone. It’s that simple. I will only use it for work and then you can be responsible for putting minutes on it. I talked with my manager about this dispute and he said he would get me a card and maybe a phone just for work. I have no problem with using my personal phone for work as long as people don’t get into my face about not be able to get a hold of me because they ran out all of my minutes. Fucking factory work.
I’m getting the feeling I need to brush up the old resume because I like my manager but if I have to deal with the two stooges all the time I think I will go nuts with frustration.

I spoke earlier about the place the two big wigs once worked and I did also. They just started more lay offs today. I know that feeling and hope everything works out for these people. It is a very tough situation to be in and this time of year especially. Fucking factory work.

The first blog of the new year so I should mention the plans I will be trying to accomplish in 2007,
1-Send off at least one short story submission each month. I have something I am almost finished with for January, just need something to start on to send off for February.
2-Make sure my truck is fixed and ready to drive for good. I am getting really frustrated having to rely on others for rides because that truck keeps having problems come up. And I can not afford to buy anything else right now either.
3-Get my teeth repaired and a new set of my false teeth made. One of the reasons I’ve felt so down mentally and physically is the teeth problems I have and the issues I have with myself in how I look without them.
4-Get one book published by the end of the year either through a mainstream publisher or somewhere like iUniverse. I just need something in print so I can show people what I can do as a storyteller.
5-Get into better shape. I need to lose about 25pounds. I think I might start running in the morning when Wave leaves for work, at least to the end of the block and back and also start lifting weights. This goes back to me getting upset about how I look and it is up to me to do something about it.