Saturday, January 25, 2014

Under The Training Book: I Wish I Was Brave About....being in public

     I want to first thank people for the emails I got on last weeks I Wish I Was Brave About...YouTubeing. I appreciate each and every letter. Even the "Go kill yourself" ones inspire me in a different way.
     This week I wanted to talk about being in public. Another side fuck up about having problems with the way I like is doing things around other people. I'm not talking about big things here. I've never been a party person or someone who liked...well, people all that much but there are still things I'd like to do that I hold myself back from.
     For examples my local comic book shop holds different events all the time. One of the events they do from time to time is a store quiz night. I would love to take part in something like this. I think it would be really fun. They also have a comic book discussion night and other events that I hold myself back from attending because of how I think others will think about the way I look. I just couldn't handle it and the more I like people, the more the place is somewhere I like, the more I think and think and think and hold myself back.
     Even going out to eat I can twitch when someone is laughing nearby thinking are they laughing at me. Eating is always painful but one of the biggest pains is if I'm in public or around someone not Mar, though in general I don't like people who aren't Mar, I don't eat or I'm constantly looking to see if they are looking at me while I'm eating.
    When going to job interviews feels like you are in a spotlight of judgment of your looks, when catching yourself laughing can make you close your mouth, leave that place of fun, and begin to fall into thoughts even among friends hurt. It makes you wish you could be braver.

     The monthly free Tin Universe story series returns with scenes of insanity, reality, and a mention in there somewhere about some gross gravy. Tin Universe monthly is a short story, vignette, flash fiction series that explore and uncovers the wider Tin Universe leading up to and between books. 

also check out,

     Someone is zombifying athletes at Clear Cut High School in Utah. Lucky the school has its own young superhero in the person of Mildred Betbeze to try and figure out what's going on. Pep rallies, cheerleaders, new kids in the neighborhood are just some of things our hero and her sidekick slash best friend Aisha have to deal with in the first book in Tin Universe's new middle grade series.


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